Check In Jokes - 21 Hilarious Check In Jokes

2 Cosplayers and 2 Tanners check in at a Resort...

The first tanner walks up to the reception and says,

“I would like a room in the Northeast wing.”

The receptionist acknowledges then gave him the keys.

Then, the first cosplayer walks up to the reception and says,

“I would like a room in the Southeast wing.”

The re...

A vulture is going through customs and the attendant asked if he has any baggage to check in.

The vulture says, “No, just my carrion.”

[NSFW] After their wedding reception, the newly weds went to their hotel to check in.

"Do you have reservations?" the desk clerk asked.
"Only one" replied the man. "She says she won't do anal"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A family walks into a hotel and the father walks to the front desk to check in...

...and says to the attendant: “I hope the porn in the room is disabled.”

The guy at the desk replies: “It’s just regular porn, you sick fuck.”

A young man met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the night with her for $500

A young man met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the night with her for $500.

So they did. Before he left, he told her that he did not have any cash with him, but that he would have his secretary write a check and mail it to her, calling the payment "RENT FOR APARTMENT."

On the way...

Can someone please check in with Mark Knopfler?

I've heard he's in Dire straits.

I called my elderly grandfather to check in on him

He told me that he wasn't doing so well, and the doctor said he didn't have much time left.

"Which doctor?" I asked

"No not a witch a doctor, a real doctor"

A hyena walks up to the check in counter in an airport...

... and throws a rotting gazelle onto the desk. The counter person shouts "what is this?" and the hyena says "it's my carrion".

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two blokes were on a plane one day.......

........ and they were sitting side by side. Coincidentally, they each had one black eye. They started talking.. 'hey mate do you mind if I ask how you got your black eye?'. 'Yeah no worries', the other one responded. 'I was at the airport check in and when I got to the counter, I couldn't help but ...

Did you hear about the programmer who was apprehended before he could check in his code?

He was arrested for a crime; he didn’t commit.

Chicken and egg check in to the motel

Know this one?

They get busy, then kick back. Egg lights up a cigarette. Chicken says, 'Well that settles that.'

A time traveler arrives in the year 2069 and decides to check in with Reddit to see if it's still around.

To his surprise it is. So he heads to /r/jokes to see what has developed in the world of humor.

To his surprise, each post consisted of just a number. Scrolling through, he saw that each vote had a hundreds of upvotes while 3527 had thousands and several awards to boot.

Puzzled, he ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man calls to check in with his wife...

...and his 5 year old son answers the phone.

The father says, "He son, is your mom there?"

Son says, "Ya daddy, she is in her room with Uncle Bill."

The father knows that there is no "Uncle Bill". He is thinking to himself that damn bitch, I can't believe she is doing this. ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A traveller enters a mysterious looking hotel and is greeted by a rather attractive girl sitting behind the check in desk.

She smiles at him, exposing slightly crooked teeth and endearing dimples. "You can have me, right here, right now." She gestures to a door he hadn't noticed before and continues, "Or, you can carry on to success."

The traveller is a little nonplussed, a little flattered about being propositio...

A man approached the check in counter

A man approached the check in counter, he had a flight booked to Miami. He leaned over to the lady and said "Miss I have a special request, I would like my green bag to go to London, and my red bag to go to Hawaii"

Confused, the check in lady said "I'm sorry sir we can't do that"

The m...

A burglar breaks into a home and holds the husband and wife in it hostage.

(Disclaimer: I believe this is OC because I heard it in Cantonese and I've translated it, so also, apologies for bad English)

A burglar breaks into a home and holds the husband and wife in it hostage. At gunpoint, he forces the two to sit on chairs facing the opposite way, back to each other,...

Check-in lines at the gates of heaven

There are several check-in counters at the gates of heaven with big signs telling arrivals where they should check in. One counter has a sign "All married men who were hen pecked by their wives". There is a long line of men waiting to check in there. Next to it is a counter for "married men who w...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Rude customer

Fellow walks into a bank.

He hasn’t had a haircut for some time. He is wearing a T shirt with food stains on it, a pair of jeans with holes and two unmatched sandals. He has a can of beer in one hand and a piece of paper in the other.

He gives a loud belch and yells « Service! »<...

A new CEO takes over at a struggling company and decides to get rid of all the slackers.

On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall. He can't believe this guy would just stand around on the job. The new CEO walks up to the guy leaning against the wall and asks, "What are you doing here?" "I'm just waiting to get paid," responds the man. Furious, the CEO asks "H...

A young couple are trying to save money on their summer vacation. They bring their bags to the discount airline desk to check in.

“Do you have reservations?” asks the woman behind the counter.

“More than a few,” the young man answered, “but we’re flying with you guys anyway.”

A buzzard carrying two dead badgers tried to check in at the airport for his flight.

The gate attendant told him, "Sorry sir, but you're only allowed one carrion."

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