UPJOKE
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Causal Jokes

A cowboy walks into a saloon and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then causally looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"

"Nope." he replies. "I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just testing it."

The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"

The cowboy explains, "It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically."

The lady says, "What's it telling y...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Of all the logical fallacies (ad hominem, straw man, causal) my favorite is the phallusy fallacy...

its when you're wrong AND you're being a dick about it.

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Whats the difference between a causal dress party and having sex

Me: hey babe

Wife: hm?

Me: what’s the difference between a casual dress party and a pirate having sex?

Wife: oh god here we go.

Me:

Me: one, you come as you are…

Me: the other, you “ARRRR!!” as you cum

Wife: get out.

The bartender says, "Get out! In this bar, we OBEY the law of causality!"

A tachyon walks into a bar...

I made this Doctor Who joke myself.

A doctor who isn’t bound by the causal nature of linear joke telling!

(Wait for it.)

Knock knock...

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Tales from the front line

Back in my Army days (mid 80s) we were on a winter training exercise with the medical battalion. Our platoon was assigned the job of being casualties for the treatment company.

They assigned us our roles told us what injuries we were supposed to have sustained then dispatched us out in the Bu...

..so in a technical sense, they're only relatively bad.

My jokes are so bad, they sometimes appear to violate causality..

Moses, Jesus and a guy went golfing

Moses, Jesus, and another guy are playing golf together. Moses hits the ball and SPLASH…it lands in the water. Moses walks up to the water…lifts his arms, parting the lake…walks over to the ball and hits it onto the green. Jesus hits the ball and SPLASH…it lands in the water. Jesus walks up to the w...

4 Nuns

Four nuns are having a causal chat when things turn interesting.

Nun 1: I have to get something off my chest. The other day I was in the Priest office and found something horrible.

Other nuns: what sister? Do tell.

Nun 1: I found dirty magazines in the priest drawer.

...

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