Camels Jokes - 21 Hilarious Camels Jokes

100 camels

A man and his wife are traveling in the Middle East. An Arab approaches the husband, saying, "I'll give you 100 camels for your woman."
After a long silence, the husband says, "She's not for sale."
The indignant wife says, "What took you so long to answer?"
The husband replied, "I was tryin...

A pack of donkeys is called "a drove". But what do you call a pack of camels?

It's called "the reason your daddy left", Johnny. That's what it's called.

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Did you know that camels can last longer without water than ?

They can go three weeks without water, but can't go a day without a hump.

Why are there no Christian camels?

They don't have bibles

How do camels learn to mate ?

They read the Llama Sutra.

Alpaca my bags, I think.....

What’s a camels favourite meal?

Desert.

I just got back from Dubai where I was offered 40 camels for my wife.

I usually smoke Marlboro but hey... a deal's a deal.

How do camels blend in?

With camel-flage

What's the difference between camels and humans?

A camel only takes one to hump.

2 guys crossing the desert on a camel

All of a sudden the camel falls from exhaustion. One guy says "what are we gonna do?" His friend says "see that big puddle over there? We will drag him up there I will hold his head in the puddle and you on his behind try and get water in his stomach." So they drag the camel to the puddle. ...

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Camel Mechanic

A man buys a camel from an old trader who tells him, that it will only start walking if it hears a special word. The man is so excited about having his own camel, that he completely forgets the special word and can't get it to move. After many hours of trying, he decides to go looking for the old tr...

A tale of two camels

Buddy of mine works at the local zoo. He's usually taking care of the camel they have there they call Sir Hump. They had been noticing that he was looking mopey and depressed so they brought in a companion. This female camel was named Lady Lumps. Anyways, Hump was finally acting normal again and soo...

Shovels, Asses and Camels

Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel, "Pick up your shovels, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the Promised Land." Nearly 75 years ago, (when Welfare was introduced) Roosevelt said, "Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a Camel, this ...

So I heard Australia just ordered a mass cull of over 5000 camels yesterday...

Wouldn't be the first time a drunk Aussie polished off a pack of camels in an afternoon.

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The Desert, a Camel, and Chapped Lips

A man is trekking across the Arabian desert with a guide and his camel.

After some time walking through the blistering heat and blowing sand, the man began to notice his lips were getting chapped. Not to be deterred, the man pushed forward, wetting his own lips with his tongue. As t...

Whats in a camels favorite cup of tea?

Chamomile

Why were the camels wearing sandals?

To stop themselves sinking into the sand.
Why did the ostrich stick its head in the sand?
To look at the camels who forgot to put their sandals on.

Did you know that camels aren't indigenous to Australia? They were shipped there by the British.

Oddly enough, so were the Australians.

A rookie reporter gets his first interview with a guy who castrates camels.

Not knowing where to start he asks: “how do you castrate a camel?”
The guy repsonds: “Well I take two large flat stones and slap them together.”

The shocked reporter asks: “Isn’t that a very painful ordeal?”

“No, you just have to make sure your fingers don’t get stuck inbetween thos...

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A man goes to a camel service stop

He tells the worker "My camel won't walk, can you help?"

"Sure" He signals to the automotive lift "Put the camel on the lift"

The man drags the camel on the lift and the worker slams the camels balls with 2 bricks and it runs off

"How am i supposed to catch it now?" To which the...

A Man and his Camel

There once was a very strange, lonely man living out in the woods alone. His family has been gone for many years, and has lived most of his life without anyone. He has had no physical contact with people in such a long time, other than going to town every could of months. But he wanted this to chang...

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