UPJOKE
birthdaycakedessertgateauchocolate cakecheesecakegingerbreadsponge cakeanniversarypumpkin piecelebrationpound cakepuddingcookiecelebratory

Why couldn’t the teddy bear finish his birthday cake?

He was already stuffed.

I used to get heartburn when I ate birthday cake

Until my doctor advised me to take the candles off first.

Happy cake day to me!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A mother sends her little son out to get some edible silver balls for the top of a birthday cake...

The son misunderstands, and comes back with a bag of very small steel ball bearings. Being so tiny, nobody notices them as they're swallowed from the top of the cake. That is, until next morning...

The elder daughter comes downstairs and says "Mum, I was so uncomfortable this morning. I had...

Why did the birthday cake go to see the Dr?

It felt crumby!

(PS I like this joke because it taught me how to spell crumby)

It's my cake day, so better post a joke about cakes... Why couldn't the Teddy bear finish his birthday cake?

Because he was already stuffed...

Sorry, I'll do better next year - definitely Muffin that I will repeat again!

What’s the worst thing about being a birthday cake?

After you are set on fire, you are eaten by the hero that saved you.

What's the difference between me and my birthday cake?

My cake gets blowed atleast once a year

“Doctor, my eyes burn every time I eat birthday cake.”

Doctor: “Next time, take off the candles.”

Wedding cake tastes just like Birthday cake

It just takes more commitment

Why do you put candles on top of a birthday cake?

Because it's too hard to put them at the bottom.

Why couldn’t the dragon eat his birthday cake?

He destroyed it while trying to blow out the candles.

Today is the Dali Lamas 82nd birthday but he couldn't decide if he wanted a vanilla, chocolate, or strawberry birthday cake...

...so he decided to be made one with everything.

Why do hockey players always make terrible birthday cakes?

Because icing is not allowed.

A man needs a cake for his daughter's birthday.

He's not the richest of men, which puts the nicer cake shops out of the question. However, he's confident that he can figure something out.

Down the road from where he lives, an old Buddhist man owns a pastry store. He's a kind man, with reasonable prices and a perpetual smile on his face. Ho...

Unexpected suprise

Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" I felt so special. She ask...

Why I'm Divorced.

I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, 'Happy Birthday,' and possibly have a small present for me.
As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone 'Happy Birthday.’
I thought …. well, that's marriage for you, but the kids .... they will rememb...

A rabbit walks in to a cake shop.

He walks up to the counter and asks " Do you have a birthday cake with spinach?" "No I'm sorry we don't" says the store clerk. "Ok" says the rabbit and promptly bounces out of the store.

The rabbit comes back a couple of times and asks the same question and gets the same answer so the store ...

It was getting close to my wife’s birthday. She was looking at herself in the mirror. I asked her what she’d like for her birthday. She sighed and said I’d like to be eight again...

On the morning of her birthday. I woke up early and made her a nice big bowl of coco pops. I then took her to for a special trip to Legoland. On the way home we stopped at McDonald’s where I got her a Happy Meal together we a special McDonalds balloon. We then went to the cinema where they were pl...

What's a good way to tell if someone is an arsonist?

They don't blow out the candles on their birthday cake.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Cakepilation

For my cake day I'm going to repost everything I can think of that fits into the category of cake-related jokes! You've heard them all anyway, who cares?



What did the cake say to the fork? You wanna piece of me?

What do you eat if you 3.142 cakes? You get fat. Pay attention, ...

Have you heard about Terry the tractor lover?

He was the ultimate tractor enthusiast, his bedroom was plastered with tractor posters, his bed was adorned with a tractor bed spread, tractor toys littered the floor and tractor maintenance DVDs dominated his shelves.

Shortly after Terry's 18th birthday (where he of course had a tractor bir...

Cake

Q: Why do people like writing on their birthday cake?
A: Because they can have their cake and read it too!

What does a polygamist family have for dessert every week?

Birthday Cake

Why he left his last job

So I was talking to my new colleague about why he left his last job. He said "Well here's the story. Last week was my birthday. But neither my children nor my wife wished me. I went to work, and my friends and colleagues also ignored me. I was feeling pretty down in the dumps. But then my beautiful ...

What did the billionaire say to the girl who was not sure?

Honey unlike a birthday cake you'll actually get what you wish for if you blow me.

Birthday joke

What sort of birthday cake do ghosts prefer?

An “I scream” cake

Last night, I tried one of those old tricks where you light your farts on fire.

I couldn't find a lighter, so I used a candle...

Completely ruined my kid's birthday cake!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

For my birthday, my brother made me pancakes!

I told him to stop flattening my fucking birthday cake.

In honor of my cakeday...

Why did the students eat their homework?

Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.


What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake?

"What's eating you?"


Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor?

Because it was feeling crumby!

The morning of his birthday, Timmy told his mom, “I had a dream I got a BB Gun for my birthday. What do you think that dream means?”

“You'll know what it means tonight,” Timmy's mom said with an encouraging smile. That night, after the birthday cake, Timmy's mom came in with a long narrow package and gave it to her son. Timmy tore the box open. Finally I get a BB gun, he thought. But he thought wrong. The box was empty except for...

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