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Chocolate Cake Jokes

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A wife is tired of all the problems that need fixing in her house

She asks her husband, "Can you please fix the leak in the bathroom? ", the husband says "Do i look like a plumber?"

She asks him "Well can you please fix the light in the living room, its been flickering for ages?", he replies "Do i look like and electrician?"

Growing tired she asks hi...

I've started calling my girlfriend names like Custard, Ice cream, Pudding, Chocolate cake, or Apple pie.

I'm planning to desert her.

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A duck sees a pig eating something.

"What are you eating?"

"A chocolate cake"

"Why does it smell like shit then?"

"I'm eating it for the third time"

Just some cake, please

Nothing looked good on the chow hall/mess line, so he only selected a large piece of chocolate cake.

The cook asked him, "Is that all you're gonna eat?"

To which the sailor replied, "Yeah, the rest of the choices don’t look too appealing to me."

The cook grinned at the sailor a...

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Why do Jews like chocolate cake?

Because its really rich

A elderly lady walks into a bakery and asks the baker for chocolate cake.

He politely replies that they are out of chocolate.

She says fine, I'll have chocolate muffins.

The baker says, I'm sorry but we are out of chocolate.

She says, ok how about some chocolate cookies?

The baker somewhat annoyed asks the lady. Tell me something, where do find...

Obviously, this is a cake day post

I made a chocolate cake with white chocolate. Then I took it to a potluck. I stood in line for some cake.



They said, "Do you want white cake or chocolate cake?"



I said, "yes".

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An American couple is looking to adopt a child...

and for whatever reason, they find themselves in an orphanage in Germany. There is this little German boy they really liked to adopt, and they decide to ask the nun if they can adopt him.

"You want to adopt little Volker?" the nun asks.

"Yes, of course. Why, is something wrong with Vol...

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My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start...

So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already

A woman was in town on a shopping trip.

She began her day finding the most perfect shoes in the first shop and a beautiful dress on sale in the second. In the third, everything had just been reduced by 50 percent when her mobile phone rang.



It was a female doctor notifying her that her husband had just been in a terrible ca...

A politician, a millionaire, a journalist, a brickie and an immigrant.

A politician, a millionaire, a journalist, a brickie and an immigrant are sat around a table. In the middle of the table is a huge chocolate cake cut into 10 pieces. Suddenly without warning the politician and the millionaire each grab 4 pieces of the cake. Upon seeing this the journalist reaches ov...

A man is stranded on a desert island

As he is walking along the beach, bemoaning his current situation, he kicks something in the sand. It's a magic lamp! He rubs it and a genie appears.

"I will grant you three wishes." Says the genie.

The man thinks for a moment and says, "For my first wish, I'd like a boat with a full t...

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First prize in the synagogue lottery

Rabbi announces 3rd prize in the synagogue lottery goes to Mr. Schwartz - an all-expense paid trip to Hawaii. Applause all around for Mr. Schwartz.

Rabbi announces 2nd prize goes to Mr. Litvak - a chocolate cake.

Well, Litvak goes nuts - says WTF - for 3rd prize Schwartz goes to H...

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Look mom, I'm black!

A little boy sees his mom making a chocolate cake. While she's not looking, he paints his face black with the frosting. Happily, he says "Look Mom! I'm black!" The mom immediately whips his ass and says "Go show your father what you did!". The little boy walks to the living room and says "hey...look...

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A guy walks into a diner with an ostrich.

The waitress comes up to take their order. The guy says, "I'll have the fried mozarella sticks, triple bacon cheeseburger, and extra fries with chili and cheese on them."

The waitress looks at the guy, stunned- he's in great shape, and she's amazed that he could eat like that and maintain his...

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Prom Night Date

Johnny, a senior in a stereotypical highschool, has a huge crush on a girl named Sally, who is in his 5th period World History.


Johnny wanted to capitalize on the upcoming prom to ask out Sally, so Johnny waited in line for two tickets to prom. Johnny tried to arrive early, but the line w...

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A homeless man walks into a restaurant...

He sits down at a table and asks to speak to the manager. The manager walks over to the man and says

"Can I help you?"

"I'm going to be honest with you. I have no money to pay for a meal. But I want to make a little wager with you. I want you to take any spoon that you want and then I ...

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