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Bugging Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Johnny has the day off from school and is bugging his mom

Johnny: mom, I'm bored I want to do something.

Mom: See those construction workers building that house across the street? Why don't you go over there and see what they are doing, maybe you'll learn something.

So Johnny does what his mom told him and spends all day across the street. He...

I've been bugging my ex-girlfriend...

I've been bugging my ex-girlfriend for a few days now since i wanted to get back and she's been avoiding me pretty badly.

The conversation went this way.

Me: Babe, why are you avoiding me like this.

She: you haven't caught the covid-19 yet?

Me: Nope, why?

She: Don...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife has been bugging me about my constipation issue lately

I don't give a shit.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My friend kept bugging so I told her to stop she looked at me and said "What you gonna do about it".

So I threw my dildo at her.

It was a Dick move.

My eyes have been bugging me recently, so I went to the doctor. He told me I have ocular herpes.

Apparently I've been looking for love in all the wrong places.

What do you call a Zen master from eastern Europe who's been bugging you all day?

A Buddha Pest.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a bar and sees a 5 gallon jug filled with $20 bills...

He sits at the bar and asks the bartender about it. The bartender replies,

"It's the $20 challenge. You put a $20 into the jar, complete a set of three challenges, and if you win you take home the entire jar!"

The man looked at it and asked what the challenges were, because that much m...

What do blind people and the weekend have in common?

I overheard a kid saying this today when we crossed paths walking down the street but I wasn't able to hear the punchline. Looking for any good answers as this is *really* bugging me till I find out.

The Story of How The Angel Went on Top of The Christmas Tree

Santa was having a terrible day. The toy factory was broken. Elves weren’t working. Mrs Claus was bugging him about something. He was having to manually make toys out of wood. He was over it. And just as he was hanging on to his lead shred of sanity, he smashed his thumb with a hammer.
And just ...

Gambling with Blondes

There was a blonde who was sitting next to a lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer was naturally bored, so he kept bugging the blonde to play a game of intelligence with him.

The blonde was reluctant, so the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds. He told
her that every time she could not answer his ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When I was in my early 20's, I once screwed a girl without a condom

I felt stupid for doing it, and it was really bugging me. So when we finished, I said, "I know it's a bit late to ask - but do you have herpes?"

She said, "No I don't."

Relieved, I said, "Thank God. I don't want to get that shit again!"

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