Baguette Jokes

Because it was bread that way.

"You wanna piece of me!?"

Guess you could say that I witnessed a French Revolution.

Because there's naan there.

The keeper said it was bread in captivity.

Sounds easy but the process is painstaking.

the process was painstaking.

Safe to say, it was a pain

*Gluten tag*

He was our family's breadwinner

He heard he might be playing a big roll

They have “No le pain, no gain” policy.

With a lot of pain.

The French police raids several apartments: ”We are looking for Le Pain Killer”

I’m in pain.

Bread.

He felt the *pain*.

He felt a small pain.

I said, "I don't care, just baguette."

He claimed it was "a pain in the ass".

He said

"What about them? Bags have it way worse".

Banned from the supermarket.

He stands on a loaf of bread and when he throws a dart, he can hit the bullseye every time. He did it at a local talent competition once, and the judges were so impressed, they moved him up to an official talent league.

For the competition, however, he stepped it up. He stacked three baguette... read more

A douche-baguette

I told him "baguette"

Is it:

A) Holy Loaf

B) Sacred Baguette

Or C) Naan of the above

Naturally, they're two for €6.01.

Do You know how to call a person who loves to eat an french baguette?

painkiller

Success baguettes success.

They baguette

Baguette.

They called me a bigot I'm pretty sure they meant baguette.

He buys bread, and the baker asks if he'd like his bread bagged in paper or plastic. The guy replies, "Baguette however you want".

He goes to his hotel's restaurant and orders a salad and a hot dog

The waiter first comes back with an enormous bowl. With a smile on his face, he tells the tourist "In America, everything is giant!"

The tourist manages to finish the salad. The waiter comes back again with the hot dog.... read more

because violence baguettes violence.

It's on my baguette list....

I say, “You shouldn’t do that! Violence baguettes violence.”

An American, a Frenchman, and a Canadian are all in a boat. The boat is sinking.

The Frenchman throws a baguette off of the boat, saying "We have too many of these in our country."

The American throws a computer off of the boat, saying "We have too many of these in our country."
... read more

Thatcher went first. She stuck her ear out the window and stated: "I can hear Big Ben chime. This is London!"

Next was Mitterrand. He stuck his nose out and stated: "I can smell fresh baguette. This is Paris!"

Last was Brezhnev. He stuck his hand out and yelped: "What... hey! Somebody ... read more

The gamers said the baguette loss was intolerable.

So she decided to journey from the convent and into town to find out for herself.

When she entered the bakery, the baker greeted her with a big smile.

“Greetings Sister! What can I get for you today?”

“What do you suggest?” She asked.

“Well, this new recipe of mine has ... read more

The plane is about to crash unless the passengers drop some weight. The pilot tells the three guys to drop something which they have enough of in their country.

The french man throws a baguette out of the window.

The turkish man throws a kebap out of the window.

The german thro... read more

It is the finals for a multi terrain cat racing competition. The final event was to swim across a river.

There were three cats in the finals.

- A French cat named *Un Deux Trois*.
- An English cat named *Four Three Two*.
- A German cat named *Eins Zwei*.

During the rac... read more

Wonderbread was, predictably, a superhero with bread-themed powers. He could beat up a gang with a baguette, trap someone in a giant pita, or cushion someone's fall with swiftly-rising dough. He was beloved by all in the city, for his escapades had the lovely side-effect of feeding the entire city f... read more