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Bratwurst Jokes

A guy goes into a store and tells the clerk, "I’d like some Polish sausage." The clerk looks at him and says, "Are you Polish?"

The guy, clearly offended, says, “"Well, yes I am. But let me ask you something. If I had asked for Italian sausage would you ask me if I was Italian? Or if I had asked for German bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or if ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a store...

He walks up to the counter and says, "I'd like three pounds of Polish sausage, please."

The clerk replies, "What are you, a fucking polack?"

Incensed, the customer responds, "Oh, so if I wanted Italian sausage would I be a dumb Guinea? Or if I wanted bratwurst would I be a stupid kraut...

My wife can't figure out why my pet anaconda won't eat Bratwurst a la cart

I told her that my anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hun.

you know why i didnt go to the bratwurst festival this year?

it was a sausage fest

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What happened when Hitler got bratwurst juice in his eye?

He could Nazi! LMFAO

One Guinness please

"Ma'am, I'd like to order a Guiness."

"You must be Irish."

"Oh, so ordering a Guiness makes me Irish? If I ordered a Pizza, would you assume I'm Italian?"

"I didn't..."

"And if I ordered a Bratwurst, would that make me German?"

"No, but..."

"So why exactly d...

What’s the worst brat of all?

A bratwurst.

What do you get when you throw ungrateful kids in to a meat grinder?

Bratwurst

What do Germans call spoiled children?

Bratwurst.

What do you call an annoying german kid?

A BratWurst

A man went to a German food stand

A young man went to a German food stand to order a bratwurst. As he gets his order, both ends of the sausage were missing. It was nonetheless the best bratwurst he has ever tasted so he decides to ask why the ends were missing and if it improves the taste somehow.
The cook answered that just does...

Why don't Germans mind when you give them a bad gift?

Because they've been bratwurst

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two men celebrating Oktoberfest walk into a bar....

They walk up to the bartender and both order a pint and a bratwurst. One of the men's phone rings and he answers. It's his wife on the line.

"Honey, I need to tell you, I cheated on you."

"What?!?!" the man yells, "With who??????"

There's indistinct mumbling from the other line,...

I was disappointed that my friend chose to bring hot dogs to my fancy pot-luck dinner party.

But, I suppose he could have bratwurst.

A german, a frenchman, and a greek crash in the amazon

A german, a frenchman, and a greek are on a plane. The plane crashes in the amazon. They meet the natives and they say "don't kill us" and the amazonians say "We will not kill you, but you have to do something. You have to spend 10 years in a cave. We will fill the cave up with all the provisions yo...

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A joke my Russian friend sent me

A Frenchman, a German, and a Russian go on a safari and are captured by cannibals. They are brought to the chief, who says, "We are going to eat you right now. But I am a civilized man, I studied human rights at the Patrice Lumumba University in Moscow, so I'll grant each of you a last request." The...

On a hot summer day, a woman has a hankering for a hotdog.

She walks to the nearest hotdog stand and gets in line. Looking up to the front of the queue, she sees an elderly gentleman ordering a bratwurst. He picks up the ketchup bottle, glances at it, and gives a hearty chuckle before slathering his brat in ketchup.

Puzzled, the woman watches as the...

A posh New Yorker...

A posh New Yorker decides to take her two young children on a European vacation. Upon landing in Berlin the trio check into the Ritz Carlton. Even though the Ritz has a fabulous, five star restaurant, the mother thinks they should indulge in the local gastronomy, and they lace their shoes back on an...

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