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Schnitzel Jokes

Why did Olaf lose the schnitzel-eating contest?

Because Olaf ate six, Sven ate nine.

Snoop Dogg should open up a Vietnamese-German fusion restaurant

and call it Pho Schnitzel

A German, an Italian and a Newfie are sitting on a steel girder...

...hundreds of feet above the ground, having lunch. The German opens up his lunch box and lets out a groan. "Mein Gott!" he says. "Not wiener schnitzel again! I'm so sick of wiener schnitzel, if I ever have to eat wiener schnitzel for lunch again I'm going to throw myself from this girder."

T...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man goes up to the counter to order a Polish sausage.

The cashier asks, “Hey, are you polish?”

The man then responds, “You think I’m polish just because I ordered a Polish sausage? If I ordered a wiener schnitzel would you think I’m German? If I ordered sushi would you think I’m Japanese? If I ordered Pizza would you think I’m Italian?”

T...

A German man was hitting on my sister-in-law...

I told her "He wants to put his wiener in your schnitzel."

She replied "Not happening, I guess he'll be stroganoff."

A Polish joke

A Polish man named Wojciech was fed up with being called a dumb Polack by every one he met. So one day he decided to pretend to be German. Wearing Liederhosen, knee socks and a feathered cap, he walked into a shop and told the man behind the counter:

"Hello my name is Rolf and I would like to...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Italian, a Frenchman, a German, and an American sign up for a cooking class.

The instructor of the class has prepared three dishes for the class to cook; Fettuccine Alfredo, Éclair, and Schnitzel. He walks up to the Italian and asks him what he would like his job to be.

"I will be responsible for the creation of the Fettuccine Alfredo."

The instructor allows hi...

A posh New Yorker...

A posh New Yorker decides to take her two young children on a European vacation. Upon landing in Berlin the trio check into the Ritz Carlton. Even though the Ritz has a fabulous, five star restaurant, the mother thinks they should indulge in the local gastronomy, and they lace their shoes back on an...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Mint Contest

John runs a candy shop, selling mints of all kinds. Business was good, until Covid hit.

John realized he’ll have to shut down the store and risk losing his business, unless he could figure out a way to advertise and sell his confections on the Internet. His nephew suggested running a contest ...
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