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Skittle Jokes

Last night a movie theater was robbed of over $1000 dollars.

The thieves took one large bag of popcorn, two large sodas and a pack of Skittles.

A man is buying a banana, some skittles, and two eggs. The female cashier says: "You must be single."

The man responds: "Wow, how did you know?"


Cashier: "Because you're ugly."

If I have three bags of sour skittles and a child steals one bag of my sour skittles. What will I have at the end of the day?

Three bags of skittles and a small body to hide.

I remember when I was a kid I could go to a store with a dollar and get two big bags of chips, a 2 liter of Sprite, 6 bags of Skittles and 6 Slim Jims.

Nowadays they have cameras everywhere inside.

Person 1 says: I like Eminem

Person 2 says: Well, I prefer Skittles.
Person 1 says: No- I meant the rapper.
Person 2 says, confused: Why would you eat the wrapper?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A girl I met last night told me her pussy tasted like a rainbow...

Found out that she meant 'Trout' and not 'Skittles.'

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My dad was so conservative that when I was a kid he wouldn't allow Skittles in the house because they let you taste the rainbow.

And rainbows taste like dick.

I walked up to a girl and said, "Skittles, Starburst, Jelly Babies, Haribo, Wine Gums."

"Erm...what?" she asked.

I said, "I'm trying to sweet-talk you into dating me."

Why did the Skittles go to school?

*They wanted to become Smarties*

A mother takes her crying baby to the hospital.....

The doctor gets out his little exam light and ends up pulling a Lima bean out of the kids left ear, a baby carrot out of one nostril, a Skittle and two peas out of the other nostril and a hunk of pear out of the kids' right ear.

The mom cringes as she watches all of this, then asks the doctor...

What can Skittles do that guys can't?

Come in a rainbow of flavors.

Why can't Jesus eat Skittles?

Because they're always falling through the holes his hands.

People are like Skittles

I eat them.

Being racist is like saying you don't like red skittles

They may be a different colour but they still taste about the same

A local movie theatre was robbed of $600 worth of merchandise

The suspects stole 3 medium popcorns, 1 bag of skittles and 4 small diet cokes.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two friends walk into a bar

The bartender greets them with a smile and a “What’ll it be boys?”
Friend one speaks up “You know what? I’m not sure. Got anything special?”

The bartender smiles and tosses him an apple.

“What the hell is this?” He cries.
“Just trust me,” says the bartender with a wink.

A...

Why does Jesus hate Skittles?

Because they keep rolling through the holes in his hands.

There is one person in this Earth who REALLY loves Skittles

His name is 6ix9ine

So i told my son

So i told my son that he could only have his skittles if he could brush his teeth he walked away sad. Then i remembered that my son has no arms

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Johnny

One day little Johnny's mom sees him standing on the stairs holding a cat and a bag of skittles.

Little Johnny eats a couple of skittles and bites the cat then takes a step down the stairs.

"What are you doing little Johnny?"

"I'm playing trucker! Popping pills, eating pussy and...

Doctor said a healthy diet consisted of a lot of colors...

So I ate skittles

The new machine at the gym is my favourite...

It has snicker, skittles, kit kats and twix

So a Movie Theatre was robbed

It was discovered that 5 bags of skittles, 10 snickers and 1 bag of Maltesers were stolen. The Theatre representative made a statement that they have lost over 4,500$ in stock was stolen.

Saw a new machine at the gym, but could only use it for 20mins before it made me sick

It was great... it had M&M's, Skittles, you name it!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jokes to offend Abrahamic religions

* JESUS SAVES! HE PASSES TO GRETZKY, GRETZKY SHOOTS, GRETZKY SCORES!

* How was copper wire invented?

Two jews found the same penny


* What did the jew do when he heard clouds had silver linings?

Got his pilot's license


* Why doesn't Jesus eat skittles?
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jokes for the week of 4/6-4/12

A French breast scientist advises against wearing bras after a thorough study, thus tying for the best job ever and the best news ever.

A GOP rep said not gays nor NAMBLA can redefine marriage. Thankfully, nine fabulous people in robes can. ‪#suckit‬ ‪#nohomo‬ ‪#somehomo‬ ‪#yeshomo‬

Ki...

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