A contest in South Korea awarded a small amount of money for a large item of food...
A one ton wonton won ten won.
My friend Ty came first in the Beijing marathon 5 years ago, but still has not been awarded a gold medal.
China refuses to acknowledge Ty won.
A medieval king was hunting in Africa. He killed a lion, an elephant, and a hippopotamus, and awarded the skins to his three squires back home in his kingdom. Thus, the three squires became known as the Lion Squire, the Elephant Squire, and the Hippo Squire.
As the years passed, the Lion Squire and the Elephant Squire became very jealous of the Hippo Squire because they wanted the hippo skin too. So, they hatched a plan to assassinate the Hippo Squire and divide the hippo skin between them equally.
Now the Lion Squire had eight sons, and the Elep...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: ‘Talking Dog For Sale.’
He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.
The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.
'You talk?' he asks.
'Yep,' the Lab replies
After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a ...
A headline from the Dallas Morning News
Dallas Morning News - A 15 year old boy was at the center of a Dallas County courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with chil...
Three scientists were awarded the Nobel Prize for their work on black holes. The Trump Administration immediately objected
and said that research would should be directed towards white holes as well.
After a preacher died and went to heaven, he noticed a New York cab driver had been awarded a higher place than him
“I don’t understand,” he complained to God. “I devoted my entire life to my congregation.”
God explained to him, “Our policy here in heaven is to reward results. Now, was your congregation well attuned to you whenever you gave a sermon?”
“Well,” the minister had to admit, “some in the ...
A professor finds a cure for cancer right before falling into a vat of chickpea dip and dying
He was awarded post-hummous-ly
Son: | was awarded the Leslie Nielsen badge at school.
Me: What's that?
Son: A big building with lots of kids.
A French, a German and an Italian spy are captured one day.
The captors grab the French spy, take him to the next room and tie his hands behind a chair.They then proceed to torture him for 2 hours before he finally cracks, answers all questions and gives up all of his secrets.
The captors then grab the German spy. They tie his hands behind the chair i...
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I participated in a joke writing competition on this sub three years ago.
The mods laid out 4 simple rules quite clearly:
1. For the following two days, all posts on this sub would be considered as entries for the competition.
2. The post with the most upvotes would be declared as the winner, i.e., the best joke. The number of upvotes until the end o...
If Trump were captain of the RMs Titanic
Captain Trump of the RMS Titanic:
There isn't any iceberg. There was an iceberg but it's in a totally different ocean. The iceberg is in this ocean but it will melt very soon. There is an iceberg but we didn't hit the iceberg. We hit the iceberg, but the damage will be ...
What is something with 8 eyes, 8 legs, and 8 hands?
My little brother told me this joke and I am so proud of him.
Edit: Look, I don't want to be one of those redditors who say 'thank's for the gold kind stranger' every time they get awarded, but after seeing this post rise I get it why they do that. For me, whose posts never g...
John was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young laying hens, called 'pullets,' and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.
Any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced. This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roost...
There's a woman in the park sells batteries.
She sells C cells by the seesaw.
The laziest person award
There was an award ceremony for the laziest person in the world. Many lazy people came to the award show but nobody among them was awarded. Turns out the laziest person was too lazy to attend the award show.
So they went to the laziest persons house to give him the award in person. He wa...
Why do dentists only want to be awarded with paper certificates?
They hate plaque buildup.
What was the inventor of suspenders awarded for their discovery?
The no-belt prize.