Nobel Prize Jokes - 37 Hilarious Nobel Prize Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Nobel Prize winner is dying (long)

A Nobel Prize winning professor is on his deathbed, losing and regaining consciousness every few minutes. Apart from his immediate family, all his graduate students are around as well.

The professor regains consciousness and looks at the bookshelf near him… He goes: “What are these books?”...

Nobel Prize

I’d kill for a Nobel Peace prize

The guy who invented the knock-knock jokes won a Nobel Prize

No-bell...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A physicist recently won a Nobel Prize...

Over the course of the next few weeks he is welcomed to many ceremonies and events as a guest speaker.

On the way to the next event at Caltech University, he rehearses his speech again. During a pause, his driver says "You know I've heard your speech so many times I pretty much can recite it...

I had a joke on nobel prize,

But mathematicians won't get it...

What's the difference between Greta Thunberg and Andrew Tate

Greta was nominated for the Nobel Prize, and awarded Tate the No-balls prize.

Nobel Prize Joke

A Nobel Prize winning mathematician is traveling from university to university on a speaking tour by limousine. After several engagements the mathematician and his driver are having dinner and the driver says "I've heard your speech so many times I think I could give it word-for-word." The mathemati...

Can conspiracy theorists win a Nobel Prize?

They already have a Theory of Everything.

Why did the farmer win a Nobel prize?

He put no bells on his cow.

Did you hear about the scarecrow who won the Nobel prize

He was outstanding in his field

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Nobel Prize

A man is driving down a country road, when he spots a farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of nothing but grass.

He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that the farmer is just standing there, doing absolutely nothing, looking at nothing.

The man gets out of ...

Did you hear that Trump has been nominated for a Nobel Prize?

He gave Peas a chance.

Why did the scarecrow get a nobel prize?

Because he was out-standing in his field.

Apologies if this has been posted, it’s new to me.

Many people hoped to win a Nobel prize this year

But just one of them was Goodenough.

Why Marie Curie won two Nobel Prizes?

Because she was very rad.

Nobel Prize winners are a lot like farmers

Oftentimes they are outstanding in their field.

Why did Alexander Graham Bell never receive a nobel prize?

Because it's a "no bell" prize.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There once was a mathematician.

He made it his life’s goal to tackle one of the greatest unsolved calculus problems in history. For months he worked, filling blackboards with numbers and lines, to no avail.

After a year of struggling, he was ready to give up. He pulled out the bottle of wine that was *meant* to toast his s...

Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door?

Answer: To win the Nobel Prize!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A list of puns

Here's a list of puns I've been collecting:

How do you throw a space party? You planet.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

Nope. Unintended.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention, but everyone was blow away by the leaf blower.

A scarecrow says,...

I was at a party and there was a big bowl of mixed alcohol and fruit juice, with a long line of brain surgeons, rocket scientists, and Nobel prize winners all queuing up to drink it...

...I thought what a great punch line.

I won a doorbell competition even though mine was missing.

They gave me the Nobel prize.

Three scientists were awarded the Nobel Prize for their work on black holes. The Trump Administration immediately objected

and said that research would should be directed towards white holes as well.

I always knock on the door and don't use the doorbell.

I think i deserve a Nobel prize.

A mathematician tried the Atkin diet.

After nearly starving to death, he won a Nobel prize by generalizing it to ribs.

What do you get if you cross an elephant with a rhino?

The Nobel Prize in Genetics.

I have the memory of a goldfish

And a Nobel prize for inventing the device that could extract it.

Did you hear about the man who invented the knock knock joke?

He won the Nobel prize.

(Sorry if this has been posted before, I heard it today for the first time and it made my day)

Scientists detected gravitational waves directly for the first time

Your mom's gonna get half the Nobel prize.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A new study finds that women who claim to enjoy giving blowjobs are less likely to be bitches.

In other news, University comes under attack after conducting terrible research. Chairman of the Nobel prize selection committee, James J. Jameyjames made this statement earlier today: "Well, fucking duh."

Vacancy announcements these days

Required qualifications:

- Work experience of 50 years or more;
- Incumbent must defeat a dragon;
- Willingness to work on weekends and holidays;
- Helicopter piloting licence;
- Ability to programme in any language imaginable;
- Knowledge of Swahili at least at uppеr intеrmеdi...

Boudreaux picked Thibodeaux up for work every morning. One morning Thibodeaux didn't answer so Boudreaux left with out him. On his way out, he noticed Thibodeaux out in his cow pasture just standing there with his hands in his pockets.

On his way home from work Thibodeaux was in the same spot. Boudreaux didn't think much of it until the next morning. Thibodeaux didn't answer again so he went on down and there he was still in the middle of the pasture. This got the best of Boudreaux so he stopped to see what had gotten into his fri...

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead stumble across a magic mirror

The trio spot a sign next to it reading "Whatever ye think you are, shall come true!"

The group are excited, and the brunette offers to go first.

She steps up to the mirror and says "I think I am the prettiest person in the world!" she immediately gets a call, and after answering, scr...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old Justin Wilson joke

An old, crotchety farmer woke up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat. The man clutched his chest and fumbled for the telephone to call an ambulance, fearing that he was having a heart attack.

Upon arriving at the hospital, the man, stable but still in quite a bit of pain, was greeted ...

Niche joke for us academics...

The Devil was wandering through the Physics building late one night when he happened upon the lab of a hard-working assistant professor.

“Could I interest you in a deal?” the devil asked. “Suppose I fix things so that for the next ten years you publish every piece of research you do, ground-b...

The one to your dumb friend...

A guy sees an ad on the window of a store with the words "Selling brains". Curious, he walks in and asks the shopkeeper what kind of brains he's selling.

Shopkeeper: "I've got Einstein's brain who won a Nobel Prize and discovered the Universe's secret equation. He was the world most brilhant ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Telling Tale of Oliver Tin

When he was young, Oliver Tin knew nothing about what he wanted to do, except that he wanted to do everything.

At the age of 5, he had already mastered reading, and had grown bored of all the literature he could find, fiction or not. Oliver Tin took this boredom as an obligation to produce wo...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.