Does anyone know what the movies Titanic and The Sixth Sense have in common?

Icy dead people

My grandfather warned people that the Titanic would sink

*No one listened, but he kept on warning them nonetheless until they got sick of him and kicked him out of the movie theatre*

A magician performs magic tricks on the Titanic before it sinks.

In the crowd there is a parrot that somehow always knows whats going on.
He pulls a string of hankerchiefs out of his sleeve: "AWCK, he pulls it from his inner pocket!"
He pulls a rabbit out of a hat: "AWCK, A false bottom!"
He saws a girl in half: "AWCK, there are two girls!"
<...

What do you get when you cross the Atlantic Ocean with the Titanic?

Halfway

If your body was the size of the Atlantic ocean, your red blood cells would be the size of the Titanic

Let that sink in

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A Chinese man and a Jewish man are sitting next to each other on a plane.

Suddenly, the Jewish man slaps the Chinese man across the face.

"What was that for?" asks the Chinese man..

"For Pearl Harbor" says the Jewish man.

"That was Japanese. I'm Chinese," the Chinese man says.

"Chinese, Japanese" what's the difference?

Few minutes later,...

The ice floe felt really bad about sinking the Titanic...

...it was A Nice Berg.

Cinco de Mayo and the Titanic

Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England .

In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico , which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York ..
...

If Trump were captain of the RMs Titanic

Captain Trump of the RMS Titanic:

There isn't any iceberg.
There was an iceberg but it's in a totally different ocean.
The iceberg is in this ocean but it will melt very soon.
There is an iceberg but we didn't hit the iceberg.
We hit the iceberg, but the damage will be ...

I named my ipod titanic

Now it's syncing

The swimming pool on Titanic

Is still full

I'm not sure how much you know about the story of the Titanic...

...but what caused it to sink is just the tip of the iceberg.

Why is it that there are no subtitles for the last 15 minutes of "Titanic"?

A good caption always goes down with the ship.

I once read a book on how the Titanic was built

It was riveting

Even though the Titanic was not a marvel of engineering

the pools are. Been up and running without maintenance since the day they were opened.

My grandpa warned people the Titanic would sink and no one listened.

He kept warning them until they got sick of it and kicked him out of the theater.

*Thanks for my first gold kind stranger! But please consider donating to your local food bank or another worthy cause instead of rewarding this stupid joke that was (according to sources) reposted.

A company made toy Titanics, but they weren't meant to be used in bathtubs.

They were made for the sink.

I watched a documentary on how they built the hull of the Titanic last night....

It was riveting.

Titanic.

Sorry, that was a terrible icebreaker.

Why is Texas like the Titanic

They both thought they were amazing until a tiny bit of frozen water broken them in half

What type of burger isn't allowed on the titanic?

An iceburger

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and "The Titanic"?

A: They know how many men went down on "The Titanic".

What's the difference between my ex and the titanic?

The titanic only went down on 1,000 people.

My Grandfather saw the Titanic. He shouted loudly to all within earshot "that ship is going to sink!". He was ignored. But he kept it up "Mark my words. That ship will sink on her maiden voyage!"

Eventually the ushers threw him out of the theater.

My friend with a lisp has a strong opinion on the Titanic II

As he put it, they're doing the unsinkable!

The true reason that the Titanic sank...

The combined weight of all the time travelers that suddenly appeared onboard.

One day, a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer all died and went to Heaven. St. Peter was having a bad day since heaven was getting crowded. When they got to the gate, St. Peter informed them that there would be a test to get into Heaven and each will have to answer a single question.

*To the teacher, he said, "What was the name of the ship that crashed into the Iceberg and sunk with all its passengers?"*

*The teacher thought for a second, and replied:" That would have been the Titanic, right?". And St. Peter let him through the gate.*

*St. Peter turned to the Garba...

My grandad predicted that the Titanic would sink

He went to great pains to try and alert everyone. Sadly no one would listen. He told people in authority, middle-management and even the every-day punters who bought tickets. He was silenced from every corner in spite of all the evidence he put forward. Eventually he was forcibly removed from the ci...

The Cart Titan walks into a bar

The bartender asks “Why the long face?”

I remembered watching Titanic and bawled my eyes out.

It's because the painting scene with Rose was too short.

If you want to stay well connected, just take all your devices aboard the Titanic.

They'll sync really well...

I'm getting revenge for the Titanic

One ice-cube in my drink at a time.

Did you hear about the Cop who arrested an innocent Iceberg because he thought it looked like the one that sunk the Titanic?

He was fired for Glacial Profiling.

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A+ Book Reports on Titanic and Bill Clinton

The students at a local college were assigned to read two books, “Titanic” and “My Life” by Bill Clinton, and to write book reports. One student turned in the following book report with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories! His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report.
...

The titanic went down in 60 seconds

Let that sink in for a minute

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What did the Titanic say about the sexy iceberg?

I’d hit that

What did the captain if the Titanic do when he found out the ship hit an iceberg?

He let it sink in.

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Anybody ever heard of those Viagra pills?

I heard they were sinking a crate of the stuff down to the Titanic to try and raise it.

Little known fact; Haley Joel Osment had a cameo in the Titanic movie.

His line? “Icy dead people.”

Historians have proved that people with every zodiac sign survived the sinking of the Titanic...

Except Leo

My grandpa tried to warn everyone The Titanic was gonna sink.

When everyone just ignored him, he yelled at them three more times, eventually they got irritated and kicked him out of the theater.

I downloaded all the music to the movie Titanic.

It's syncing now.

What did the optimist say to the pessimist on the Titanic?

"I told you it was half full."

Onboard the Titanic...

While cruising aboard the Titanic, an engineer boasts to his dinner companions, "This ship is so seaworthy that even God can't sink her!"

Overhearing what the engineer said, God started laughing so hard that he spilled his glass of water and ice cubes went flying everywhere.

What passengers were happy that the Titanic sank?

The lobsters in the kitchen.

What did the iceberg say to the Titanic after if finally got outta the way?

Sank you

A Titan captures 26 Spies of his enemies. Each Spy is given 2 names: They are numbered from 1-26 and are given the alphabet with respect to their numbers. He then proceeds to eat all but one to prevent information from leaking out (He executed that spy). Which spy and why?

Spy#3. He was Spy-C.

My great-grandfather kept screaming, "The Titantic's going to sink! The Titanic's going to sink." And everyone got angry...

... so they kicked him out of the movie theater.

[Titanic, 1912]

**Captain:** what kind of lettuce do you want on your sandwich?

**First mate:** ICEBERG!

**Captain:** lol... no need to shout, Dave.

What’s a movie whose title got deeper the longer you watched?

The Titanic.

What do Greek Gods do when screws get loose?

They Titan them.

The Titanic

The Titanic was God's way of talking to us.

Pity, it was such a bad ice-breaker.

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I named my iPhone “Titanic”

Going to wait till it syncs, then Jack off.

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My dick is like the Titanic.

Not because it's big or hard, but because it's a bit sad at the end.

The Titanic has been resting on the ocean floor for over a hundred years.

Let that sink in for a minute.

What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic

Sanka

TIL the sinking of the Titanic is commemorated in Mexico.

Otherwise known as Sink-o de Mayo.

Imagine the Titanic with a Lisp

It's unthinkable

My grandfather predicted that the Titanic would sink.

He tried to warn everyone that it was going to sink, but the fools wouldn't listen. Being the good man that he was, he kept on urging people to heed his warning, right up until he was escorted out of the movie theatre by security.

What is the difference between the Titanic and California?

When the Titanic sank the lights were still on.

Why will Titanic II be better than Titanic I?

Because there are no icebergs to crash into anymore.

the world’s best cloud storage service was released today, called Titanic.

It’s always synching

What did the Titans team pilot say when they arrived in Kansas City?

Touch Down! Kansas City!

(Multiple Punchlines) One Should Never Make Fun of Someone Else's Bow.

1. They might not think it's friendly ribbon.
2. You should have the presents of mind to be polite
3. If they have an arrow, they might shoot you with it.
4. They might get angry and resort to violins.
5. In that situation, it's best to be curt, see?
6. Just say the bow wowed you.
...

I'm trying to stream Titanic

But it keeps syncing

My great-grandfather warned everyone that the Titanic would sink

He screamed that the ship would sink, but nobody would listen.

He was a brave man. He did not give up. He warned them again and again... until he was kicked out of the cinema.

What's the difference between the Titanic and Kim Kardashian?

The number of people who rode the Titanic is known.

I tried to play the Titanic game on my PC

But as soon as I hit the iceberg, it crashed

I like to talk about the Titanic whenever i meet someone new

To break the ice

You shouldn't make jokes about the Titanic here...

You'll only get downboated.

i can’t imagine what the people of the titanic were thinking when they struck the iceberg

they probably had a sinking feeling if i had to guess

My Grandfather witnessed what was about to happen to the Titanic firsthand.

He screamed and yelled trying to alert everyone of what was about to happen.

He yelled three more times until it finally happened.



They kicked him out of the theater.

NASA was experimenting with animals in space.

Monkeys were an obvious choice, but they had no patience. Mice chewed all the cables, dogs were too stupid and chickens were always scared. It seemed the only animal that could cope with the intense stress of space travel was a chilled out alley cat.

After a few months of testing and training...

A man is standing on the bow of the Titanic as it is sinking, holding a glass of whiskey.

He says: "I asked for ice, but this is ridiculous"

The Titanic disaster happened 106 years ago today...

Just let that sink in

I went into the local library and asked if they had any books on the Titanic. "Oh yes, quite a few." the librarian said.

"Sorry to hear that!" I said laughing. "They'll all be ruined by now!"

I hate to sound like a conspiracy theorist here, but are we truly to believe that the Titanic sunk after being hit by an iceberg?! Do they think we're stupid fools!?

I've been throwing lettuce at the window for hours now and it hasn't even scratched, let alone put a hole in it.

Did you hear about Titanic II gearing up to set sail in 2022?

Good thing we melted all our glaciers in the preparation.

What was the biggest lesson learnt from the Titanic tragedy ?

Make icebergs smaller.

TIL the pool on the titanic is still filled with water to this day.

Oh wait...

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One day Jewish man went for a hike

He hikes all the way up to a viewpoint overlooking his city. There he meets a Chinese man, they greet each other and after some conversation the Jewish man asks:

"where are you from?"

"From China" the chinese man responds.

"I don't like you Chinese you bombed pearl harbour!" s...

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