What do the movies The Sixth Sense and Titanic have in common?

Icy dead people

What do you get when you cross the ocean with the Titanic?

Half way.

If Trump were captain of the RMs Titanic

Captain Trump of the RMS Titanic:

There isn't any iceberg.
There was an iceberg but it's in a totally different ocean.
The iceberg is in this ocean but it will melt very soon.
There is an iceberg but we didn't hit the iceberg.
We hit the iceberg, but the damage will be ...

My grandad predicted that the Titanic would sink

He went to great pains to try and alert everyone. Sadly no one would listen. He told people in authority, middle-management and even the every-day punters who bought tickets. He was silenced from every corner in spite of all the evidence he put forward. Eventually he was forcibly removed from the ci...

If you want to stay well connected, just take all your devices aboard the Titanic.

They'll sync really well...

My grandpa warned people the Titanic would sink and no one listened.

He kept warning them until they got sick of it and kicked him out of the theater.

*Thanks for my first gold kind stranger! But please consider donating to your local food bank or another worthy cause instead of rewarding this stupid joke that was (according to sources) reposted.

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A Jewish pilot and Chinese pilot are flying together for the 1st time.

An hour into the flight, the Jewish pilot says to his Chinese counterpart “I don’t like the Chinese.”

Stunned, the Chinese pilot replies “Why don’t you like the Chinese?”

“Well” says the Jew, “the Chinese bombed Pearl Harbor.”

Even more stunned, he replies ”The Chinese didn’t bo...

My grandpa kept telling people that the Titanic was going to sink. They ignored him.

Eventually, they needed to throw him out the cinema.

Wanna hear a fun fact about the Titanic?

The pool is still full.

I renamed my iPhone “The Titanic”

So when I plug it in my computer it says “The Titanic is syncing.”

I'm getting revenge for the Titanic

One ice-cube in my drink at a time.

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A+ Book Reports on Titanic and Bill Clinton

The students at a local college were assigned to read two books, “Titanic” and “My Life” by Bill Clinton, and to write book reports. One student turned in the following book report with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories! His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report.
...

If rose from the titanic were a superhero, what would her superpower be?

being super dead

Little known fact; Haley Joel Osment had a cameo in the Titanic movie.

His line? “Icy dead people.”

What did the captain if the Titanic do when he found out the ship hit an iceberg?

He let it sink in.

Historians have proved that people from every zodiac sign survived the Sinking of the Titanic

Except Leo

Onboard the Titanic...

While cruising aboard the Titanic, an engineer boasts to his dinner companions, "This ship is so seaworthy that even God can't sink her!"

Overhearing what the engineer said, God started laughing so hard that he spilled his glass of water and ice cubes went flying everywhere.

My grandfather warned the people that the Titanic would sink.......

No one listened, but he kept on warning them nonetheless until they got sick of him and kicked him out the movie theatre.

What did the iceberg say to the Titanic after if finally got outta the way?

Sank you

Did you hear about the Cop who arrested an innocent Iceberg because he thought it looked like the one that sunk the Titanic?

He was fired for Glacial Profiling.

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and the Titanic?

Only 800 people went down on the Titanic!

What passengers were happy that the Titanic sank?

The lobsters in the kitchen.

Most people don’t know that back in 1912, Hellmann’s mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York...

This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost.

The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly awaiti...

The titanic went down in 60 seconds

Let that sink in for a minute

My grandpa told me he got to see the Titanic and that from the very beginning he told them not to get onboard because he knew it was going to sink.

But no one listened and he repeatedly told them until the minute he got kicked out of the movie theater.

[Titanic, 1912]

**Captain:** what kind of lettuce do you want on your sandwich?

**First mate:** ICEBERG!

**Captain:** lol... no need to shout, Dave.

A Titan captures 26 Spies of his enemies. Each Spy is given 2 names: They are numbered from 1-26 and are given the alphabet with respect to their numbers. He then proceeds to eat all but one to prevent information from leaking out (He executed that spy). Which spy and why?

Spy#3. He was Spy-C.

The titanic was a good cruise ship and all...

But it's luxury only scratched the tip of the iceberg

I don't need upvotes I need a thank you

The Titanic

The Titanic was God's way of talking to us.

Pity, it was such a bad ice-breaker.

My great-grandfather kept screaming, "The Titantic's going to sink! The Titanic's going to sink." And everyone got angry...

... so they kicked him out of the movie theater.

The Titanic has been resting on the ocean floor for over a hundred years.

Let that sink in for a minute.

TIL the sinking of the Titanic is commemorated in Mexico.

Otherwise known as Sink-o de Mayo.

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I named my iPhone “Titanic”

Going to wait till it syncs, then Jack off.

One day St. Peter had the day off and St. Patrick was left in charge of the pearly gates of Heaven.

After a short while an Irishman, a Scotsman and an Englishman are stopped at the gates by St. Patrick, who says, “Sorry, it’s crowded up here, you each need to answer a question correctly, or else you can’t enter Heaven. St. Patrick looks at the Irishman and asks "What was the name of the famous oce...

What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic

Sanka

A magician on a cruise ship

Is doing magic for a particularly rough crowd. There's a man in the audience with a parrot in his shoulder that is giving away all the tricks.

Every time he does a card trick the bird would scream," Its up his sleeve."

Every time he makes something disappear the bird would scream," s...

I downloaded all the music to the movie Titanic.

It's syncing now.

My grandpa tried to warn everyone The Titanic was gonna sink.

When everyone just ignored him, he yelled at them three more times, eventually they got irritated and kicked him out of the theater.

How ungrateful people are

My grandfather tried to warn everyone that the Titanic was going to sink. Besides not believing in him, they also expelled him from the movie theater!

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My dick is like the Titanic.

Not because it's big or hard, but because it's a bit sad at the end.

What did the Titans team pilot say when they arrived in Kansas City?

Touch Down! Kansas City!

What is the difference between the Titanic and California?

When the Titanic sank the lights were still on.

I tried to play the Titanic game on my PC

But as soon as I hit the iceberg, it crashed

Why will Titanic II be better than Titanic I?

Because there are no icebergs to crash into anymore.

Priest, Doctor and Lawyer died

A priest, doctor and lawyer died. They met Saint Peter at the gate, who would only let them into heaven if they could answer one simple question.

Peter asked the priest, "what was the unsinkable ship that struck an iceberg?" The priest replied, "The Titanic". And the gates opened up.
...

i can’t imagine what the people of the titanic were thinking when they struck the iceberg

they probably had a sinking feeling if i had to guess

Can you imagine The Titanic with a lisp?

It’s unthinkable.

Just a Joke

One day, a garbage collector, a professor and a journalist wound up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into heaven, they would each have to answer one question. St. Peter addressed the garbage collector and asked, “What was the name of the ship that crashed in...

My grandfather told me that he saw the Titanic

And that from the beginning he warned all the people that the ship would sink, but nobody listened to him.

He was a brave man. He did not give up. He warned them again and again on several occasions.... until they kicked him out of the cinema.

My chemistry professor once asked the class if it was a good or bad thing that ice is less dense than water?

I said "It wasn't good for the Titanic."

My grandfather predicted that the Titanic would sink.

He tried to warn everyone that it was going to sink, but the fools wouldn't listen. Being the good man that he was, he kept on urging people to heed his warning, right up until he was escorted out of the movie theatre by security.

Have you ever had the privilege of sailing across the North Atlantic Sea?

Neither has the Titanic.

the world’s best cloud storage service was released today, called Titanic.

It’s always synching

My Grandfather witnessed what was about to happen to the Titanic firsthand.

He screamed and yelled trying to alert everyone of what was about to happen.

He yelled three more times until it finally happened.



They kicked him out of the theater.

I like to talk about the Titanic whenever i meet someone new

To break the ice

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What if the Titanic didn't sink?

Now hear me out on this...

>!Shitty movie sequels!<

TITANIC

Sorry that was a terrible ice breaker

I'm trying to stream Titanic

But it keeps syncing

What was the biggest lesson learnt from the Titanic tragedy ?

Make icebergs smaller.

Did you hear about Titanic II gearing up to set sail in 2022?

Good thing we melted all our glaciers in the preparation.

You shouldn't make jokes about the Titanic here...

You'll only get downboated.

The captain and some navigators are smoking weed on the bridge on the titanic

When all of a sudden a cadet bursts in from the door releasing a big cloud of weed smoke right into his face. The cadet ignores it and starts exclaiming:

"Captain! I've spotted a huge ice block of ice right in our path, we need to change course, or we will hit it!"

"Naah, don't worry ...

So, how about the Titanic?

Sorry, I'm bad at icebreakers.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Chinese guy and a Jewish guy sitting at a bar.

Suddenly Jewish guy whacks Chinese guy on the head. What was that for? says the Chinese guy. Pearl Harbor says the Jewish guy. Pearl Harbor? That was the Japanese. Jewish guy says Japanese Chinese what's the difference?

Time goes by. Suddenly the Chinese guy whacks the Jewish guy on the head....

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One day a guy dies...

...and finds himself in hell. Walking around, he runs into the devil.

Devil: Why are you so sad?

Guy: Why do you think? I'm in hell.

Devil: Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinkin' man?

Guy: Sure, I love to drink.

Devil: Well ...

I went into the local library and asked if they had any books on the Titanic. "Oh yes, quite a few." the librarian said.

"Sorry to hear that!" I said laughing. "They'll all be ruined by now!"

The Titanic disaster happened 106 years ago today...

Just let that sink in

Ya'll seem to like puns, so:

• Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!

• How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.

• England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

• I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

• They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a typo.

• I changed my iPod’s name to Tita...

What's the difference between the Titanic and Kim Kardashian?

The number of people who rode the Titanic is known.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Chinese man and Spielberg.

A Chinese man walks into a bar in America late one night and he sees Steven Spielberg. As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph. Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, "You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Harbor, get outta here!"
The astonished...

I hate to sound like a conspiracy theorist here, but are we truly to believe that the Titanic sunk after being hit by an iceberg?! Do they think we're stupid fools!?

I've been throwing lettuce at the window for hours now and it hasn't even scratched, let alone put a hole in it.

Why wasn't Keanu Reeves in Titanic?

Well, in the end everyone whoud have survived.

The Titanic sank 103 years ago.

Making it the only thing your mom didn't go down on!

A man is standing on the bow of the Titanic as it is sinking, holding a glass of whiskey.

He says: "I asked for ice, but this is ridiculous"

I just saw a documentary about the sinking of the Titanic

It was Riveting

TIL the pool on the titanic is still filled with water to this day.

Oh wait...

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