If Trump were captain of the RMs Titanic

There isn't any iceberg.
There was an iceberg but it's in a totally different ocean.
The iceberg is in this ocean but it will melt very soon.
There is an iceberg but we didn't hit the iceberg.
We hit the iceberg, but the damage will be repaired very shortly.
The iceberg is a...

What do "The Sixth Sense" and "Titanic" Have In Common?

Icy dead people.

My grandpa warned people the Titanic would sink and no one listened.

He kept warning them until they got sick of it and kicked him out of the theater.

*Thanks for my first gold kind stranger! But please consider donating to your local food bank or another worthy cause instead of rewarding this stupid joke that was (according to sources) reposted.

Little known fact; Haley Joel Osment had a cameo in the Titanic movie.

His line? “Icy dead people.”

Onboard the Titanic...

While cruising aboard the Titanic, an engineer boasts to his dinner companions, "This ship is so seaworthy that even God can't sink her!"

Overhearing what the engineer said, God started laughing so hard that he spilled his glass of water and ice cubes went flying everywhere.

Historians have proved that people from every zodiac sign survived the Sinking of the Titanic

Except Leo

What did the captain if the Titanic do when he found out the ship hit an iceberg?

He let it sink in.

My grandfather warned the people that the Titanic would sink.......

No one listened, but he kept on warning them nonetheless until they got sick of him and kicked him out the movie theatre.

I renamed my iPod The Titanic

So whenever I plug it in, it says “The Titanic is syncing”

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and the Titanic?

Only 800 people went down on the Titanic!

Did you hear about the Cop who arrested an innocent Iceberg because he thought it looked like the one that sunk the Titanic?

He was fired for Glacial Profiling.

What passengers were happy that the Titanic sank?

The lobsters in the kitchen.

Most people don’t know that back in 1912, Hellmann’s mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York...

This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost.

The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly awaiti...

What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic?

Half way

I changed my iPhone name to titanic.

Its syncing now.

My grandpa told me he got to see the Titanic and that from the very beginning he told them not to get onboard because he knew it was going to sink.

But no one listened and he repeatedly told them until the minute he got kicked out of the movie theater.

[Titanic, 1912]

**Captain:** what kind of lettuce do you want on your sandwich?

**First mate:** ICEBERG!

**Captain:** lol... no need to shout, Dave.

The Titanic

The Titanic was God's way of talking to us.

Pity, it was such a bad ice-breaker.

The titanic was a good cruise ship and all...

But it's luxury only scratched the tip of the iceberg

I don't need upvotes I need a thank you

A Titan captures 26 Spies of his enemies. Each Spy is given 2 names: They are numbered from 1-26 and are given the alphabet with respect to their numbers. He then proceeds to eat all but one to prevent information from leaking out (He executed that spy). Which spy and why?

Spy#3. He was Spy-C.

The titanic went down in 60 seconds

Let that sink in for a minute

The Titanic has been resting on the ocean floor for over a hundred years.

Let that sink in for a minute.

How ungrateful people are

My grandfather tried to warn everyone that the Titanic was going to sink. Besides not believing in him, they also expelled him from the movie theater!

TIL the sinking of the Titanic is commemorated in Mexico.

Otherwise known as Sink-o de Mayo.

My great-grandfather kept screaming, "The Titantic's going to sink! The Titanic's going to sink." And everyone got angry...

... so they kicked him out of the movie theater.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I named my iPhone “Titanic”

Going to wait till it syncs, then Jack off.

What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic

Sanka

Priest, Doctor and Lawyer died

A priest, doctor and lawyer died. They met Saint Peter at the gate, who would only let them into heaven if they could answer one simple question.

Peter asked the priest, "what was the unsinkable ship that struck an iceberg?" The priest replied, "The Titanic". And the gates opened up.
...

Have you ever had the privilege of sailing across the North Atlantic Sea?

Neither has the Titanic.

I downloaded all the music to the movie Titanic.

It's syncing now.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My dick is like the Titanic.

Not because it's big or hard, but because it's a bit sad at the end.

What did the Titans team pilot say when they arrived in Kansas City?

Touch Down! Kansas City!

My grandpa tried to warn everyone The Titanic was gonna sink.

When everyone just ignored him, he yelled at them three more times, eventually they got irritated and kicked him out of the theater.

What is the difference between the Titanic and California?

When the Titanic sank the lights were still on.

I tried to play the Titanic game on my PC

But as soon as I hit the iceberg, it crashed

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Chinese guy and a Jewish guy sitting at a bar.

Suddenly Jewish guy whacks Chinese guy on the head. What was that for? says the Chinese guy. Pearl Harbor says the Jewish guy. Pearl Harbor? That was the Japanese. Jewish guy says Japanese Chinese what's the difference?

Time goes by. Suddenly the Chinese guy whacks the Jewish guy on the head....

Why will Titanic II be better than Titanic I?

Because there are no icebergs to crash into anymore.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Chinese man and Spielberg.

A Chinese man walks into a bar in America late one night and he sees Steven Spielberg. As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph. Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, "You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Harbor, get outta here!"
The astonished...

Ya'll seem to like puns, so:

• Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!

• How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.

• England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

• I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

• They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a typo.

• I changed my iPod’s name to Tita...

i can’t imagine what the people of the titanic were thinking when they struck the iceberg

they probably had a sinking feeling if i had to guess

Can you imagine The Titanic with a lisp?

It’s unthinkable.

My grandfather told me that he saw the Titanic

And that from the beginning he warned all the people that the ship would sink, but nobody listened to him.

He was a brave man. He did not give up. He warned them again and again on several occasions.... until they kicked him out of the cinema.

The Titanic Be Like:

I call everyone on this ship to take part in the ice bucket challenge.

My Grandfather witnessed what was about to happen to the Titanic firsthand.

He screamed and yelled trying to alert everyone of what was about to happen.

He yelled three more times until it finally happened.



They kicked him out of the theater.

I like to talk about the Titanic whenever i meet someone new

To break the ice

the world’s best cloud storage service was released today, called Titanic.

It’s always synching

What was the biggest lesson learnt from the Titanic tragedy ?

Make icebergs smaller.

Did you hear about Titanic II gearing up to set sail in 2022?

Good thing we melted all our glaciers in the preparation.

My grandfather predicted that the Titanic would sink.

He tried to warn everyone that it was going to sink, but the fools wouldn't listen. Being the good man that he was, he kept on urging people to heed his warning, right up until he was escorted out of the movie theatre by security.

TITANIC

Sorry that was a terrible ice breaker

So, how about the Titanic?

Sorry, I'm bad at icebreakers.

You shouldn't make jokes about the Titanic here...

You'll only get downboated.

I'm trying to stream Titanic

But it keeps syncing

What would we call a war on one of saterns moons.....

ATTACK ON TITAN!!!!!!!!!!!!! *PLAYS ANIME MUSIC*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One day a guy dies...

...and finds himself in hell. Walking around, he runs into the devil.

Devil: Why are you so sad?

Guy: Why do you think? I'm in hell.

Devil: Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinkin' man?

Guy: Sure, I love to drink.

Devil: Well ...

Call me a conspiracy theorist but I think the Titanic was sunk by terrorists...

Definitely an isisberg.

If only the Titanic was made of Titanium.

Now imagine a Vibrator made of Vibranium.

Why wasn't Keanu Reeves in Titanic?

Well, in the end everyone whoud have survived.

I went into the local library and asked if they had any books on the Titanic. "Oh yes, quite a few." the librarian said.

"Sorry to hear that!" I said laughing. "They'll all be ruined by now!"

I just saw a documentary about the sinking of the Titanic

It was Riveting

The Titanic disaster happened 106 years ago today...

Just let that sink in

Germans consider the Titanic a joke.

Which is understandable, if you sink about it.

The Titanic sank 103 years ago.

Making it the only thing your mom didn't go down on!

Where can you find the Titanic?

TL;DR at the bottom

I hate to sound like a conspiracy theorist here, but are we truly to believe that the Titanic sunk after being hit by an iceberg?! Do they think we're stupid fools!?

I've been throwing lettuce at the window for hours now and it hasn't even scratched, let alone put a hole in it.

What's the difference between the Titanic and Kim Kardashian?

The number of people who rode the Titanic is known.

TIL the pool on the titanic is still filled with water to this day.

Oh wait...

A man is standing on the bow of the Titanic as it is sinking, holding a glass of whiskey.

He says: "I asked for ice, but this is ridiculous"

Richard Nixon, Jimmy Carter and Bill Clinton are all on the Titanic

As the Titanic begins sinking, Jimmy Carter yells “quick, save the women and children.”

Nixon yells back: “screw the women and children!”

Bill Clinton says: “I don’t think we have time for that.”

What did the titanic say before it sank?

I nominate all of my passengers for the ALS Icebucket Challenge.

My grandfather tried to warn people about the Titanic.

Before they set sail, he ran around trying to warn people that the ship would sink. No one would listen to him. Frantic, he kept yelling, “this ship will sink! This ship is going to sink!” Yet no one listened. Shorty after, we were escorted from the grounds and asked not to return. That’s the story ...

As the Titanic sank, the musicians remained on deck and continued to play music as the ship went down.

The captain had said "aBandOn Ship", so they really had no choice.

I asked my wife what she thinks about the Titanic.

I think it wasn’t that good ice breaker.

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