I just realized Titanic and the Sixth Sense are basically the same movie.

Icy dead People!

What does a Travis Scott concert and the Titanic have in common?

The music doesn’t stop when people start dying.

What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic?

Half-way

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"I sexually identify as The RMS Titanic"

"I must lay my Seamen to rest in a dark wet place."

Did you know in 1998 Titanic overtook Jurassic Park to become the highest grossing film of all time?

I guess the Titanic can’t survive an iceberg but it can beat a Spielberg.

My grandpa warned people the Titanic would sink…

No one listened, but he kept warning them until they got sick of him and kicked him out of the cinema.

Titanic jokes never get old.

Just like Jack.

A magician performs magic tricks on the Titanic before it sinks.

In the crowd there is a parrot that somehow always knows whats going on.
He pulls a string of hankerchiefs out of his sleeve: "AWCK, he pulls it from his inner pocket!"
He pulls a rabbit out of a hat: "AWCK, A false bottom!"
He saws a girl in half: "AWCK, there are two girls!"
<...

An elementary teacher, middle manager, and lawyer die and go to heaven...

St. Peter meets them at the pearly gates and explains that to get in they each have to answer one question correctly.

The teacher goes first. St. Peter says "What was the name of the famous ship that sank after striking an iceberg in 1912?"

"The Titanic!"

"Right, off you go." T...

If Trump were captain of the RMs Titanic

Captain Trump of the RMS Titanic:

There isn't any iceberg.
There was an iceberg but it's in a totally different ocean.
The iceberg is in this ocean but it will melt very soon.
There is an iceberg but we didn't hit the iceberg.
We hit the iceberg, but the damage will be ...

If your body was the size of the Atlantic ocean, your red blood cells would be the size of the Titanic

Let that sink in

If the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags," and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs," then...

what does that make the Tennessee Titans?

The ice floe felt really bad about sinking the Titanic...

...it was A Nice Berg.

Cinco de Mayo and the Titanic

Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England .

In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico , which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York ..
...

I renamed my iPod The Titanic

When I plug it in, it says "The Titanic is syncing".

My grandpa warned people the Titanic would sink and no one listened.

He kept warning them until they got sick of it and kicked him out of the theater.

*Thanks for my first gold kind stranger! But please consider donating to your local food bank or another worthy cause instead of rewarding this stupid joke that was (according to sources) reposted.

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A Chinese man and a Jewish man are sitting next to each other on a plane.

Suddenly, the Jewish man slaps the Chinese man across the face.

"What was that for?" asks the Chinese man..

"For Pearl Harbor" says the Jewish man.

"That was Japanese. I'm Chinese," the Chinese man says.

"Chinese, Japanese" what's the difference?

Few minutes later,...

Why is it that there are no subtitles for the last 15 minutes of "Titanic"?

A good caption always goes down with the ship.

The swimming pool on Titanic

Is still full

I once read a book on how the Titanic was built

It was riveting

I'm not sure how much you know about the story of the Titanic...

...but what caused it to sink is just the tip of the iceberg.

A company made toy Titanics, but they weren't meant to be used in bathtubs.

They were made for the sink.

Even though the Titanic was not a marvel of engineering

the pools are. Been up and running without maintenance since the day they were opened.

I watched a documentary on how they built the hull of the Titanic last night....

It was riveting.

Titanic.

Sorry, that was a terrible icebreaker.

Why is Texas like the Titanic

They both thought they were amazing until a tiny bit of frozen water broken them in half

What's the difference between my ex and the titanic?

The titanic only went down on 1,000 people.

What type of burger isn't allowed on the titanic?

An iceburger

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and "The Titanic"?

A: They know how many men went down on "The Titanic".

My friend with a lisp has a strong opinion on the Titanic II

As he put it, they're doing the unsinkable!

My Grandfather saw the Titanic. He shouted loudly to all within earshot "that ship is going to sink!". He was ignored. But he kept it up "Mark my words. That ship will sink on her maiden voyage!"

Eventually the ushers threw him out of the theater.

The true reason that the Titanic sank...

The combined weight of all the time travelers that suddenly appeared onboard.

My grandad predicted that the Titanic would sink

He went to great pains to try and alert everyone. Sadly no one would listen. He told people in authority, middle-management and even the every-day punters who bought tickets. He was silenced from every corner in spite of all the evidence he put forward. Eventually he was forcibly removed from the ci...

The Cart Titan walks into a bar

The bartender asks “Why the long face?”

I remembered watching Titanic and bawled my eyes out.

It's because the painting scene with Rose was too short.

If you want to stay well connected, just take all your devices aboard the Titanic.

They'll sync really well...

The titanic went down in 60 seconds

Let that sink in for a minute

Did you hear about the Cop who arrested an innocent Iceberg because he thought it looked like the one that sunk the Titanic?

He was fired for Glacial Profiling.

My grandpa tried to warn everyone The Titanic was gonna sink.

When everyone just ignored him, he yelled at them three more times, eventually they got irritated and kicked him out of the theater.

I downloaded all the music to the movie Titanic.

It's syncing now.

I'm getting revenge for the Titanic

One ice-cube in my drink at a time.

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A+ Book Reports on Titanic and Bill Clinton

The students at a local college were assigned to read two books, “Titanic” and “My Life” by Bill Clinton, and to write book reports. One student turned in the following book report with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories! His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report.
...

What did the captain if the Titanic do when he found out the ship hit an iceberg?

He let it sink in.

Little known fact; Haley Joel Osment had a cameo in the Titanic movie.

His line? “Icy dead people.”

Historians have proved that people with every zodiac sign survived the sinking of the Titanic...

Except Leo

What passengers were happy that the Titanic sank?

The lobsters in the kitchen.

Onboard the Titanic...

While cruising aboard the Titanic, an engineer boasts to his dinner companions, "This ship is so seaworthy that even God can't sink her!"

Overhearing what the engineer said, God started laughing so hard that he spilled his glass of water and ice cubes went flying everywhere.

A Titan captures 26 Spies of his enemies. Each Spy is given 2 names: They are numbered from 1-26 and are given the alphabet with respect to their numbers. He then proceeds to eat all but one to prevent information from leaking out (He executed that spy). Which spy and why?

Spy#3. He was Spy-C.

What did the iceberg say to the Titanic after if finally got outta the way?

Sank you

My great-grandfather kept screaming, "The Titantic's going to sink! The Titanic's going to sink." And everyone got angry...

... so they kicked him out of the movie theater.

If Hillary Clinton were captain of the Titanic

Captain Hillary Clinton, RMS:

There's an iceberg, dead ahead. We need to alter course.

No, it's not my imagination. Right there, see? An iceberg.

This ship will strike that iceberg and sink if we don't change course.

No, I'm not being overly dramatic. It's an iceberg. It ...

[Titanic, 1912]

**Captain:** what kind of lettuce do you want on your sandwich?

**First mate:** ICEBERG!

**Captain:** lol... no need to shout, Dave.

Imagine the Titanic with a Lisp

It's unthinkable

My grandfather predicted that the Titanic would sink.

He tried to warn everyone that it was going to sink, but the fools wouldn't listen. Being the good man that he was, he kept on urging people to heed his warning, right up until he was escorted out of the movie theatre by security.

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My dick is like the Titanic.

Not because it's big or hard, but because it's a bit sad at the end.

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I named my iPhone “Titanic”

Going to wait till it syncs, then Jack off.

The Titanic

The Titanic was God's way of talking to us.

Pity, it was such a bad ice-breaker.

What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic

Sanka

The Titanic has been resting on the ocean floor for over a hundred years.

Let that sink in for a minute.

TIL the sinking of the Titanic is commemorated in Mexico.

Otherwise known as Sink-o de Mayo.

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Anybody ever heard of those Viagra pills?

I heard they were sinking a crate of the stuff down to the Titanic to try and raise it.

What is the difference between the Titanic and California?

When the Titanic sank the lights were still on.

What's the difference between the Titanic and Kim Kardashian?

The number of people who rode the Titanic is known.

the world’s best cloud storage service was released today, called Titanic.

It’s always synching

I'm trying to stream Titanic

But it keeps syncing

Why will Titanic II be better than Titanic I?

Because there are no icebergs to crash into anymore.

My great-grandfather warned everyone that the Titanic would sink

He screamed that the ship would sink, but nobody would listen.

He was a brave man. He did not give up. He warned them again and again... until he was kicked out of the cinema.

What did the Titans team pilot say when they arrived in Kansas City?

Touch Down! Kansas City!

I like to talk about the Titanic whenever i meet someone new

To break the ice

A man is standing on the bow of the Titanic as it is sinking, holding a glass of whiskey.

He says: "I asked for ice, but this is ridiculous"

My Grandfather witnessed what was about to happen to the Titanic firsthand.

He screamed and yelled trying to alert everyone of what was about to happen.

He yelled three more times until it finally happened.



They kicked him out of the theater.

i can’t imagine what the people of the titanic were thinking when they struck the iceberg

they probably had a sinking feeling if i had to guess

The Titanic disaster happened 106 years ago today...

Just let that sink in

I tried to play the Titanic game on my PC

But as soon as I hit the iceberg, it crashed

What’s a movie whose title got deeper the longer you watched?

The Titanic.

I went into the local library and asked if they had any books on the Titanic. "Oh yes, quite a few." the librarian said.

"Sorry to hear that!" I said laughing. "They'll all be ruined by now!"

I hate to sound like a conspiracy theorist here, but are we truly to believe that the Titanic sunk after being hit by an iceberg?! Do they think we're stupid fools!?

I've been throwing lettuce at the window for hours now and it hasn't even scratched, let alone put a hole in it.

TIL the pool on the titanic is still filled with water to this day.

Oh wait...

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