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Athletic Jokes

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Hitler wasn't a very athletic man.

He never even finished a single race.

Apparently someone has been shot with a starter pistol at the athletics track

Police think it may be race related

At the Olympics I saw an athletic guy carrying a long stick and asked him, "Are you a pole vaulter?"

He looked surprised and said, "No, I am a German. But how did you know my name is Walter?"

Grandpa was celebrating his 100th birthday.Everybody complimented him on how healthy, athletic and well-preserved he appeared.

"I will tell you the secret of my success," Grandpa said, "My wife and I were married 75 years ago. On our wedding day, we made a solemn pledge. Whenever we had an argument, or fight, the one who proved wrong would go outside and take a walk for 5 kms. Gentlemen, I have been walking in the open air ...

What's the difference between a clown and an athletic rabbit?

One is a little bit funny and the other is a little fit bunny

Who was the first person to take a knee at an athletic event?

Tonya Harding.

What is a lawyer’s favorite brand of athletic cup?

Private Defender

My Girlfriend was really athletic

After all she was on the jv wrestling team, on the football team, and hockey goalie.

What do athletic ninjas wear?

Sneakers

I might be neither handsome, rich nor athletic

What? Why are you expecting a “but”?

Man. I know my wife is athletic and seems pretty quick on her feet...

but why do all my friends keep calling her a cheetah? She ain't that fast.

What is Cardi B's athletic sister's name?

Cardi O

Henry The Eighth Liked His Wives To Be Athletic

And That Was Her Downfall

She Wouldn’t Run, She Wouldn’t Walk, She Would Simply Just Anne Boleyn

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5lbs weight loss program.

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5lbs weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck..

She introduces hersel...

I always wear an athletic cup.

It's over-protection in a nut shell.

You would think that France would be the most athletic country on Earth...

I swear half the guys there are Jacques

"But Dad, I came in second!" I cried, as he continued to belittle my athletic skills.

That's the last time I let him watch me box.

Binghamton University's Athletic Director compared the mens basketball team to a zoo. The Binghamton Zoo responded with the following letter:

I am tired of hearing that blight on Binghamton University, the men's basketball team, being referred to as a "zoo." The Binghamton Zoo at Ross Park has just received re-accreditation by the Association of Zoos and Aquariums, the industry's governing authority. We achieved this status by being in th...

People often rank a person's attractiveness out of ten, but what is considered a ten in some states would be considered differently elsewhere.

For example an NY10 is typically tall and athletic but a DC10 is very plane.

4 religious women were chatting

First woman mentions her son:

-My son is a priest, whenever he enters a community, people stand up and call him, "Father, welcome"

The second woman doesn't seem impressed:

-My son is a bishop, people call him "Your excellency" when he is in a community.

The third woman ta...

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