What would you call a woman who actively encourages her husband to sleep with her friends?

Sharon Cox

What do you call a person who has flu but does not isolate themselves and is very active on social media?

Influen(zer)

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I was first sexually active at 10.

It's now 10:30, and my arm hurts.

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I am sexually active

i run on the treadmill and masturbate at the same time.

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A sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wants her vaginal lips reduced in size because they were too loose and floppy.

Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret and the surgeon agreed.
Awakening from the anesthesia after the surgery she found 3 roses carefully placed beside her on the bed.
Outraged, she immediately calls in the doctor, "I thought I asked you not to tell anyone about m...

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So, I went to the doctor...

She asked "What brings you here today?"

I replied "My car."

And then she looked down at the form, shook her head, checked a box, and commented under her breath: "Not sexually active."

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One day a man is feeling depressed and goes to his therapist for advice.

"I just don't know what to do. I don't feel like living anymore." he said.

The therapist responded brightly. "Well I know just the trick for that. You need to be more sexually active." The man looks at him, confused. "What especially works for me is banging my wife two to three times a week....

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A sexually active cock

A couple goes to visit a farm. A farmer shows them around and points toward a chicken and says, "This chicken is amazing, he can have sex 300 times a day."

The wife glances meaningfully to the husband and says, "Wow, what an amazing cock."

He husband, wisely, asks the farmer, "But is i...

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A woman visited her doctor for her annual exam. The doctor asked, “Are you and your husband sexually active?” “Yes, we have verbal sex everyday.” the woman answered. “Verbal sex? I think you mean oral sex!” the doctor laughed. “No, I mean verbal sex.” the woman persisted...

“Every morning my husband and I pass each other in the hall and say, ‘Fuck you!’"

Breaking News in North Korea: 11.47PM - 1 active Covid case detected !

Update at 11.48PM - 0 active Covid cases

You know the similarity between my brain and my laptop hard disk?

Both are actively deleting memory and I can't figure out why

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Three men, aged 40, 60 and 80, discuss their sex lives

The 40-year old says: "When my wife and I were just married, we'd do it every single day. Any position you could imagine. But now I'm lucky if we can average once a week".

The 60-year old man responds: "Once a week? Just wait till you get to my age. Once a month is what I consider an active s...

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Doctor: are you sexually active?

**me:** No, I kinda just lie there.

**wife:** THIS- *[takes off doctor costume]* this is why we never role play anymore!

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Doctor: "Are you sexually active?"

Patient: "Nah, I just lie there."

When are bullies the most active?

In the meantime

Why would Donald Trump run into an active school shooting, even if unarmed?

Because he knows one of his supporters would never shoot him

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In the Beginning was the plan.

And then came the assumptions. And the assumptions were without form. And the plan was completely without substance. And the darkness was upon the face of the workers. And they spoke among themselves saying: “It is a crock of shit, and it stinketh.”

And the workers went unto their supervi...

I saw a news story that says there are 60,000 active cases of Coronavirus.

At least these infected people are exercising a lot.

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What do you call a sexually active couch?

A pullout.

A young doctor moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring

The older doctor suggested that the young one accompany him on his rounds, so the community could become used to a new doctor.



At the first house a woman complains, “I’ve been a little sick to my stomach.”



The older doctor says, “Well, you’ve probably been overdoing the...

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A man walks into a bar with a donkey and an ostrich.

He sits down at the counter and asks for a beer.

“That will be 5.98$, sir.”, the bartender says.

The man, puts his hand into his pocket and pulls out 5 dollars and 98 cents in exact change.

“How much will it cost to buy everyone here a round of drinks?”, the man asks, taking a s...

Two very active seniors

Two very active seniors (Jacob, age 92, and Mary, age 89), living in The Villages, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way, they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in. Jacob addresses the man behind the counter, "Are you ...

Because the government can't seem to get out their own way and are actively hindering relief efforts, evangelicals have a point still going to church

Only God can help them now

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Only sexually-active people will get this

STD.

I'm thinking of joining a gym.

I'm keeping mentally active.

What do you call a gun owner trying to intervene in an active shooter situation?

Two active shooter situations

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Doctor: are you active sexually?

Patient: define active, cause some active volcanoes didn't explode in hundreds of years.

Doctor: I'll write virgin.

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Remember, regular sex keeps the mind active and the memory in tip-top condition.

I wish everyone a happy 2016!

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Why is college like being sexual active without protection?condom?

It's really fun until you get tested.

The secret of long life

A young man met a cowboy who was 104, still active and in good health. He asked the old-timer what the secret was to his longevity.


The old man said, "You gotta sprinkle a little gunpowder on your oatmeal every morning see. If you do, you'll live to a nice, ripe old age."


So ...

A couple of years ago Barry went hiking across Europe

But as time passed by he never returned home. His many friends tried contacting him in any way they could imagine, but his phone was disconnected, he wasn't active on his social media accounts anymore - it was like he disappeared off the face of the Earth.

Ultimately, everyone had forgotten a...

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What does being sexually active and being at school have in common?

If you miss a period you're in trouble.

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A man got an urgent message at work saying his wife had been in a car accident and was in the hospital.

So the man rushed to the hospital and was met in the lobby by the surgeon who had just operated on his wife.

Doctor: I'm sorry to have to tell you this sir but the damage to you wife's spinal cord was catastrophic. She'll never walk again. In fact she'll most likely be a helpless invalid for ...

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If being sexually active reduces the chance of developing prostate cancer, guess what I am doing tonight?

Developing cancer.

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Did you hear about the sexually active squirrel on cocaine?

He was fucking nuts

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A man goes to a urologist...

...and says he has a problem with his penis.

"OK, well, can you urinate, can you get an erection?"
"Sure, no problem."
"Ermm, well how about your sex life, can you describe it to me?"
"Well, I wake up and have sex with my wife. Then I make some coffee and vreakfast, and when she co...

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As a scientist, I have been actively trying to develop a cure for beastiality, but I haven't had any luck. So if anyone needs me,

I'll be in my lab.

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I'm not currently sexually active because i'm saving myself...

...Some Money

A high quality post on a website with active comment section

*Top Comment *
Thank you for the gold stranger

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So this young woman goes to the doctor and he asks, "Are you sexually active?"

She says, "No l, I just lay there."

People are surprised when I tell them that I have a 4.0GPA while working and maintaining an active social life

But hey, anything is possible if you lie.

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My doctor asked me, "Are you active sexually?" [NSFW]

I told her, "No, I just kind of lay there."

So they've started planting trees actively nowadays.

Well that's a releaf

I need a raise.

Employee: Excuse me sir, may I talk to you?

Boss: Sure, come on in. What can I do for you?

Employee: Well sir, as you know, I have been an employee of this prestigious firm for over ten years.

Boss: Yes.

Employee: I won't beat around the bush. Sir, I would like a raise. ...

I finally found an active Hillary Clinton sub with a lot of subscribers!

/r/politics

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