This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Doctor: are you sexually active?

**me:** No, I kinda just lie there.

**wife:** THIS- *[takes off doctor costume]* this is why we never role play anymore!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was sexually active at 12

It’s now 12:15 and my arm is killing me

When are bullies the most active?

In the meantime

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Who was the most sexually active man in Brutish history? (nsfw)

Guy Fawkes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why is college like being sexual active without protection?condom?

It's really fun until you get tested.

Two very active seniors

Two very active seniors (Jacob, age 92, and Mary, age 89), living in The Villages, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way, they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in. Jacob addresses the man behind the counter, "Are you ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the most depressed and simultaneously sexually active place in America?

Oh I was hoping you would know... I've heard it's a sad state of affairs

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the sexually active squirrel on cocaine?

He was fucking nuts

What do you call a gun owner trying to intervene in an active shooter situation?

Two active shooter situations

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A woman visited her doctor for her annual exam. The doctor asked, “Are you and your husband sexually active?” “Yes,” the woman said. “We have verbal sex everyday.” “Verbal sex?I think you mean oral sex” the doctor said. “I mean verbal sex.” the woman said.

“Every morning my husband and I pass each other in the hall and say, ‘Fuck you!’ ”.

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I'm not currently sexually active because i'm saving myself...

...Some Money

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If being sexually active reduces the chance of developing prostate cancer, guess what I am doing tonight?

Developing cancer.

A high quality post on a website with active comment section

*Top Comment *
Thank you for the gold stranger

Is this sub still active?

There hasn't been a post for a year.




Happy new year from Australia

Why would Donald Trump run into an active school shooting, even if unarmed?

Because he knows one of his supporters would never shoot him

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Remember, regular sex keeps the mind active and the memory in tip-top condition.

I wish everyone a happy 2016!

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Only sexually-active people will get this

STD.

From a farmer I know

A lady and her husband are at the county fair and they walk up to where the bulls are being kept. The lady sees a sign on the first bull pen and reads it: "This bull services a cow a week!"

"Hmmm" she thinks to herself just as she notices a sign on the second pen. It read: "This bull service...

A young doctor moved out to a small community to replace an older doctor who was retiring.

The older doctor suggested that the young one accompany him on his house-call rounds, so the community could become used to a new doctor.

At the first house a woman complained, "I've been a little sick to my stomach."

The older doctor said, "Well, you've probably been overdoing the fre...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does being sexually active and being at school have in common?

If you miss a period you're in trouble.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

As a scientist, I have been actively trying to develop a cure for beastiality, but I haven't had any luck. So if anyone needs me,

I'll be in my lab.

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Doctor: are you active sexually?

Patient: define active, cause some active volcanoes didn't explode in hundreds of years.

Doctor: I'll write virgin.

So they've started planting trees actively nowadays.

Well that's a releaf

An old mathematician turns 89...

Soon after, his friends and family are astounded as he suddenly begins taking up a variety of sports, buying the newest things, and being as active as if he were in his twenties.
Before long, they approach him, asking about this behavior in spite of his age. The man responds "Well of course I'm...

A joke I will always love

In the distant future when interstellar space travel is common place, scientists are traveling through galaxies to find life on other planets. On one planter many light years away, they find a giant granite statue statue of a man in a squatting position. Upon close inspection they find this statue i...

What do you call an asian guy who is talking on an active electric shock giving chair?

current lee speaking

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Doctor: Are you sexually active?

Me: [drinking an entire glass of water]
My puppet: No.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

4 years ago today, I shared the worst joke I ever created. Here it is again for those that missed it.

There are two identical twin brothers that live together. One happens to be a well-respected dentist, and the other can't seem to keep a job. Instead of actively looking for work, he likes to sit around at home. One Saturday, the dentist is hungry, and puts his brother on the spot. He tells him to g...

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I'm getting real tired of people comparing Trump to Hitler.

I mean, I get it: they both appeal to the radical far right Uber-nationalists and blame problems on minority groups but whatever, it's getting out of hand. Grow up and show some damn respect!Hitler at least actively served in the military and didn't get a deferment.

A husband went to the sheriff’s department to report that his wife was missing.

Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home.

Sergeant: What is her height?

Husband: Gee, I’m not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

Sergeant: Weight?

Husband: Don’t know. Not slim, not really fat.

Sergeant: Color of eyes?

...

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