Why did Karen press Ctrl-Shift-Esc on her keyboard?

Because she wanted to speak to the Task Manager!

I ground up my ctrl key and gift wrapped it. The card reads:

This is ground ctrl.
TO: Major Tom


(Merry Christmas David Bowie!)

Why did Karen press Ctrl-Shift-Esc?

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

I really shouldn't have hit ctrl+z

It seemed like a good idea at the time, but it turned out to be my undoing

Ctrl + C

Ctrl + V

I have three kids named Ctrl, Alt, and Del.

When they mess up, I hit them all at once.

My Dad told me specifically not to touch the keyboard...I pressed Ctrl-B

It was a bold move

*right clicks, drags*

* ctrl+c*

* ctrl+v*


Guys check out this joke I made.

Today I pulled a key off my keyboard [long]

Today I pulled one of the CTRL keys from my keyboard and was shocked to find myself looking down at the entire universe: stars planets, black holes, the whole thing was right there beneath my keyboard.

I was so shocked I called a friend in to show her. After five minutes of gazing into total...

I've just found out about the shortcut CTRL+a

This changes everything

My grandad asked me how to print on his computer...

I told him it’s Ctrl-P. He says he hasn’t been able to do that for ages.

In tech support, we get asked questions that seem like common sense. Today I told a guy "CTRL-P"...

...but he didn't make it to the bathroom.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I want to have 3 kids and name them Ctrl, Alt, and Delete.

That way when they fuck up, I can hit them all at once.

Did you know?

r/jokes users are descendants of the Greek god Poseidon

all they do is Ctrl C

V

V

*Edit: seems like the ctrl key on my keyboard is not working

A redditor walks into a bar...

v



Sorry, I think my ctrl key is broken.

A redhead, brunette and a blonde walk into a bar.

They were having a chat when the bartender asked them about thier opinions on elements.

The redhead says,"I love gold because I can buy a lot of cars with it."

The brunette says,"I would prefer platinum because it is more valuable than gold and can buy you more cars."

The blonde...

What kind of behaviour could underline a serious problem in your relationship?

When you feel like your partner is always trying to Ctrl+U.

Say you're a r/Jokes member without saying you're a r/Jokes member

Ctrl + C

Ctrl + V

Twitter have just created a keyboard shortcut that mutes all Neo-Conservative posts.

Ctrl + Alt + Right

I’m using Excel and told the boss that I’ve been Ctrl+F’ing all day.

She asked me if that was a polite way of swearing.

How does Sean Connery shave?

Ctrl+esh. Like everyone elshe.

Safe travels, Sir.

How does Sean Connery shave?

Ctrl+S

During the pandemic governments have told people to work from home.

So if you're a dominatrix you must press ctrl + U.

What's the best way to be funny on Reddit?

Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V

A man had the most dangerous spider in the world, a Brown Recluse, stuck in his keyboard.

He called his wife about it.

"Hey honey, I have a venomous spider in my house!" He said.

"Oh my God, are you okay?" His wife asked.

"Yes, I have it under CTRL."

A spider crawled on my computer

Don’t worry, it’s under ctrl

I smashed my keyboard and I'm so angry..

I lost ctrl

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I got fired from the keyboard factory yesterday

I wasn't putting in enough shifts, which I thought was some capital bullshit. They're such Ctrl freaks and now I need to find alternate work

[NSFW] What did they name the new abortion clinic?

Ctrl+Z

What are the three keys to a frontpage post?

Ctrl, C, and V.

Did you hear about the ant who stored his food inside a keyboard?

He's got everything under CTRL

In a fit of rage I smashed my keyboard til all the keys popped off.

I guess you could say I lost Ctrl.

So I used to work in a keyboard factory

I got fired because I always lost CTRL and because of that I went HOME and lost a lot of SHIFTS. I guess F8 didn't want me to work there.

Selling Paul Walker's keyboard on ebay ( $100 )

Disclaimer: it's missing a key ( previous owner lost CTRL ).

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

v

A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint, when a lizard walks past. The lizard looks up and says “Hey! what are you doing?” The monkey says “Smoking a joint, come up and join me"

So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have another joint. After a while the lizard sa...

Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen died today

Unfortunately ctrl-alt-delete will not bring him back to life.


RIP Paul Allen.

I don't really understand this Alt Left or Alt Right thing.

It seems as though they're trying to Shift Ctrl until they Del the other.

How do the French turn on their computers?

By pressing Ctrl+Alt+Retreat.

A boy loved his computer

Like he really really liked it. He was the type would go insane if anything happened to it. So one day he start playing on his computer when he notices the ctrl key is missing. Instantly he goes into a frenzy and starts attacking people. Soon his family manage to pin him down and ask him why he is a...

A person who posts lots of jokes to r/jokes found that 3 keys on his keyboard is broken, what are those keys?

Ctrl,C, and V

Why do old people print so slowly?

They can't Ctrl P

Chuck Norris jokes

When Chuck Norris' code throws exceptions, it's across the room.

Chuck Norris' keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key, because nothing controls Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can delete the recycling bin.

Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people. And then the grenade exploded....

To all the haters out there, I think Melania Trump's speech hit all the right keys.

Ctrl+C and Ctrl+V

Why did Steve Jobs eat all the cookies?

Mac users have no CTRL

The term, "Alt-Left" has been around for decades! Wow, it really takes me back.

If you spend a lot of time on Reddit you may like Ctrl-W as well.

An ant has been living under my keyboard for a while but now I’ve managed to make it stay under only one key

Don’t worry I’ve got it under ctrl

What is Poseidon's favourite shortcut?

ctrl + C

There are two types of reposters on this sub:

-Those who try to change a word or two to seem original

-CTRL V

What were Stephen Hawking's last words?

Ctrl + Alt + Del

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This damn button keeps popping off my keyboard...

I swear I am about to lose fucking Ctrl.

I don’t know what the fuss is about Alt-Right.

Personally, I always use Alt-Left, Ctrl-Left and Shift-Left

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How can you tell if your computer might be a Nazi?

It gets turned on if you push Ctrl+Alt+Right.

I was revising an essay the other day...

when all of a sudden I deleted an entire sentence. I tried Ctrl+Z, document recovery, and everything, but eventually I gave it up as a lost clause.

How to write for Buzzfeed:

1) Go to Reddit

2) CTRL+C

3) CTRL+V

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'd been a bit of a shut in computer nerd for a long while before I lost my virginity...

My parents forced me out on a date they arranged. To my surprise I manage to bring her home.

Still, I didn't know the first thing about women, completely clueless.

However, like a good nerd I was prepared. Right before the date I wrote a list of questions about sex on my laptop should...

My internet addiction is so bad...

Its alt of ctrl.

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