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Charact Jokes

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Harry Potter has way too many characters...

Even J.K. Rowling has a hard time keeping all the characters straight.

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Because Nintendo's beloved character is Japanese, Mario is his LAST name. His first name?

Itsume.

Iron Man is a very confusing character.

I know he’s a guy but he could’ve been Fe Male.

The Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters

So Trump can't tweet it

You can tell that Wolverine is a Canadian character written by an American

His superpower is healthcare

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I asked my girlfriend to dress up as my favourite Star Wars character for some sexy roleplaying fun.

I walked into the bedroom that night and I was shocked,

"Love, Jabba the Hut is not my favourite Star Wars character" I exclaimed,

"Fuck off" She shouted "I haven't got dressed yet"

I decided to kill off some characters in the book I am writing

It would definitely spice up my autobiography.

The blonde's computer password had to be eight characters long and include at least one capital

So she made it "MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofyAlbany."

My parents read the book I was writing. They said the main character wasn't likeable.

It was an autobiography...

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As a guy, I refuse to play as a female character in online games.

Not because I’m sexist, I just don’t think it’s right to perpetuate the stereotype that girls are bad at games.

My son Luke loves that I named my children after Star Wars characters.

My daughter, Chewbacca, not so much.

If a male video game character squats on a downed opponent it's called "Tea Bagging" when a female character does it it's called...

"Clam Dipping"

How many Dragonball Z characters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Find out next time, on Dragonball Z!

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Which character is the gayest video game character of all time?

Pacman — who eats 200 balls each game.

My password needed to be 8 characters.

So I used “Snow White and the Seven
Dwarves.”

What’s the Republicans’ most hated Sesame Street character?

The Count

A man was sued by a woman for defamation of character. She charged that he had called her a pig. The man was found guilty and fined.

After the trial he asked the judge "This means that I cannot call Mrs. Johnson a pig?" The judge said that was true.

“Does this also mean I cannot call a pig Mrs. Johnson?" the man asked. The judge replied that he could indeed call a pig Mrs. Johnson with no fear of legal action.

Wit...

SpongeBob may be the main character in the show…

..but Patrick is the star.

Who's Leonardo Dicaprio's least favorite Sesame Street character?

Oscar

im so sorry

My Girlfriend has been repeatedly asking me “Are you a character from Alice in Wonderland?” and it’s getting really annoying

My Friend asked me “Are you mad at her?”

I replied “Don’t you start too”

A woman sues a man for defamation of character...

A woman sues a man for defamation of character, charging that he called her a pig. The man is found guilty and made to pay damages.

After the trial, he asks the judge, “Does this mean that I can no longer call Ms. Harding a pig?”

The judge says,“That is correct.”

“And does it m...

I miss the days when the Annoying Orange was just a fictional youtube character

And not the President of the United States.

All the characters in Harry Potter are so well-developed. Well, except Nearly-headless Nick...

He was poorly executed.

A blonde came up to the librarian and yelled, "This book sucks! There's way too many characters and the story makes no sense!"

The librarian said, "So you're the one who took our phone book."

My favorite fictional character is

My dad

What Star Wars character likes orange juice the most?

Emperor Pulpatine

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The Marvel character Korg is canonically gay.

I’d guess you’d say the other gladiators are hitting rock bottom.

My son Luke loves that we chose Star Wars characters as inspiration when naming my kids.

However, his sister Chewbacca and his brother Boba Fett are less amused.

My friends asked me what’s my favorite fictional character

I said ‘my girlfriend’.

Bloody Passwords

PASSWORD PROBLEMS:

WINDOWS: Please enter your new password.

USER: cabbage


WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.

USER: boiled cabbage



WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.
...

I was watching a horror movie and was screaming at the main character to not go through the door

My wife asks me from the kitchen what movie am I watching.

She wasn't thrilled when I told her it's our wedding tape.

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The hulk is the only bisexual marvel character

He smashes everything

Whats Bill Cosbys favorite disney character?

Sleeping beauty

I bought myself a 6 ft boomerang with Lord of the Rings characters on it.

It’s really hard to Frodo

What do you call a zombie Pac-Man character?

Wacca wacca waccing dead.

So my friend decided to get a face tattoo of her favourite Star Wars character

You should've seen the Luke on her face.

How do Halloween characters listen to their music?

Scare pods

Why don't Star Wars characters go to church?

They're scared of the *pews*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm so tired of all these "historically" based movies and books that change the characters' skin color to pander to the masses

Like, what's up with this Jesus being white bullshit.

In Hogwarts Legacy what do you call your character sorted into Ravenclaw while omitting the use of fast travel systems?

Stairy Potter

Which Greek character is from alabama

Oedipus

Researchers have discovered a lost Hemingway novel where the main character is trying to learn a computer language.

The Old Man and the C.

Which Lord of the Rings character was upset because he had no toys to play with?

Legoless.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm surprised anyone's shocked by Natalie Portman's character development in Love & Thunder.

If I was fucked by Chris Hemsworth I'd be pretty thor too.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why are creative character writers so good in bed?

……because they really know how to pen a trait!

who is gordon ramsay's favorite shrek character?

donkey

What game character takes you to a website?

Link.

What do you call it when you kill Disney characters?

A Mickey Mousacre

What happens when a character breaks the fourth wall

The roof comes down.

Who is the cleverest Disney character?

Gaston; he's the winner of the No-Belle Prize

Never argue with a fictional character

Their minds are completely made up

I was asked who my favorite X-Men character was..

Apparently Bruce Jenner was "inappropriate."

Who's the fruitiest character in Star Wars?

The Mangolorian.

(Made up for an eight year old)

M&M's Redesigns Its Characters' Looks and Personalities to Be 'Representative of Today's Society'

It's rumored the Yellow M&M is going trans and getting his nut removed.

I love it when the main character in a movie has a twisted back story...

Probably why 'The Hunchback of Notre Dame' is one of my all-time favourites!

How does Waluigi feel about the latest Smash character reveal?

Honestly…he’s a little Sora ‘bout it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Marge Simpson was one of TV’s first LGBTQ+ characters

She was animation’s first Homer-sexual

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I just got done watching a show with unlikable characters, bullshit plot developments, and a depressing ending.

It's called "The News."

What did the anime character say to the wookiee when it ate too fast?

Chew, baka!

Which Game of Thrones character doesn't stink ?

Bran

He is Hodorless

What Star Wars character would be best at limbo?

Han So Low

Her: Who's your favourite Muppet Show character?

Me: The vampire

Her: That's Sesame Street – he doesn't count

Me: I can assure you that he does

Password audit

During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password:

"MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento"

When asked why such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.

How many of Shakespeare's characters does it take to change a lightbulb?

Three. One to change the lightbulb, one to contemplate how a lightbulb is as mortal as any human, and one to spend the afternoon debating whether to murder his uncle.

What do you call a Super Mario character who likes to be both dominant and submissive?

A Nintendo switch

What Simpson's character does the best power points ?

Slideshow Bob

I couldn’t follow the storyline of Stephen King’s “It”

Too many Maine characters.

Virtually every Harry Potter character can teach us a lesson.

For example, Barty Crouch Jr. taught us that drinking can make you Moody.

Gimme your best Mickey Mouse/Disney character joke!

Going on a Disney Cruise and need your funniest, raunchiest or most nasty joke involving a Disney character.

Why do Amoung Us characters bottle up their emotions?

Because they get kicked out of the group when they vent.

I have forgotten the names of all the characters in The Hunchback of Notre Dame.

But Quasimodo rings a bell.

I like to hold my breath whenever a character goes underwater in a movie. That way I know if I'd survive if I were that character.

I was rushed to the E.R after Finding Nemo

What is scooby's favorite DBZ character

Roku

Where do Nintendo Characters shop?

Ike-ea, Waa-Greens, Hot Togepi, Break the Target, Lush Ultimate, Wet-Spheal, Mushroom Kingdom (think about it), Abercombie and Squid, and Walmarth.

I love Harry Potter but after re-reading the chapter the death-day party I realized something about nearly headless nick

He was a very poorly executed character

Daniel Craig was explaining why his character had grey hair for the first time ever in the franchise.

This comment has been overwritten and deleted forevermore by the user in response to the API changes June 2023.

Who is Gordon Ramsays least favourite Dragon Ball character?

Frieza

Star Trek characters make the worst sports fans...

They always root for the away team

What happens to Minecraft characters when they turn 16?

They grow cubic hair!

A blonde's office computer had technical issues

IT support came over to the desk and said he needed password to access her account.

"It's 'MickeyMinnieBatmanSupergirlWonderwomanLondon'" she replied.

"A bit unusual for a password, how did you come up with it?" the support dude asked.

She went "Because computer said the passwor...

Which cartoon character curses the most?

The Road Runner

Who Is Jay Gatsby's Favorite Comic Book Character?

Deadpool.

Why are there no wheel chair characters in battle royal games?

Because it's last person standing wins.

What's a train's favorite Star Wars character?

Choochoobacca

My genitals can transform from one Toy Story character to another depending on how much I wash them

They go from a Woody to a Stinky Pete

Which character of Pokemon is a jew?

Ash

Busrides are good for your character.

They keep you grounded

The problem with Nearly-Headless Nick

is that he is a poorly-executed character

George R R Martin, dead after reaching peak popularity

Just like one of his characters.

(If this trash of a post hit the front page, the title could really mess with some GoT fans, I'm just saying)

As kids, we were gullible enough to believe in fictional characters we never see like Santa and the Easter Bunny. As adults, we know better...

Thank God.

If cartoon characters become real, who would attract most women?

Pinocchio

What Disney character can count the highest?

Buzz Lightyear, to infinity and beyond.

Who is the cutest character on Dora the Explorer?

Benny, because he's a Dora bull.

(Thought of this all myself. I've reached full dad joke level here - please kill me.)

What kind of phone does an animal crossing character have

A nookia

What do you tell an anime character that's turned into a pigeon?

Go Coo

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Angel 1 : "I just saw an important bible character playing with himself!"

Angel 2: "Jesus fucking Christ!"

Angel 1: "Yes that's what it was."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My sex life is just like my favourite Star Wars character.

Hand Solo

Why is Punisher the funniest Marvel character?

Because he has the best punchlines.

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