UPJOKE
movefurtherprogressriseincreasepushadvancementgaintravelprogressionbring forwardbettermentapproachimprovementboost

Advances Jokes

I met my dream girl at the morgue

but she didn't warm up to my advances.

An Inkling kept making romantic advances towards me.

I guess she was trying to woomy.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My sexbot wasn't making advances at me

, but then I realized I forgot to turn it on!

Have there been any new advances in anti-itch skin creams?

It just seems like we've only scratched the surface.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Israeli, a Russian and an American doctor are discussing the recent advances in medicine in their countries.

The Israeli doctor says: "In Israel, medicine is so advanced that we can cut off a man's testicles, put them on another man and in 6-weeks, he's looking for work." The German doctor says: "That's nothing, in Germany we take part of a brain, put it in another man and in 4-weeks, he's looking for work...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Can we applaud David Spade for not having any allegations of advances?

Consensual ones included.

It's appalling that despite advances in Science, the constant media circus has made us insensitive to the fact that every minute...

Sixty seconds pass away

Medical advances these days are absolutely crazy. They've found ways to activate taste buds in people who were born without the sense. Surprisingly most people don't like it at first.

Its an acquired taste.

A Chinese baby was born a month in advance

So his parents named him Er Lee

The ancient Romans would be saddened to know how many of their advances we'd forgotten. Aquaducts, fast food, underfloor heating...

But hey, it's all water over the bridge.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

after marriage

A girl and a boy meet at the discotheque and after a couple of dances it is obvious that they are really attracted to each other.

The boy asks the girl home and she accepts.

Once at home, nature being nature and the attraction being strong, after some kissing and petting, the boy ma...

A guy lost his fingers in an accident at work.

He rushed to the hospital and made his way to the emergency ward.

When he arrived the doctor came in and said, "Not to fret, Mr. Roberts, with the technology of today and advances in medicine, we can easily reattach your fingers and you'll be able to return to work in a couple of days. Now.....

From a 30 year old memory of a joke someone's grandfather told.

Brad's first year away at university was a lot of partying and paying for his friend's. He quickly runs out of money. His father would not be pleased with his wastefulness, so Brad sends him a message stating he has a professor that can teach his father's dog how to read and write for a bargain pric...

An old woman was sitting in her rocker by the fireplace one night when all of a sudden a genie appeared and promised to grant one wish.

An old woman was sitting in her rocker by the fireplace one night when all of a sudden a genie appeared and promised to grant one wish. She thought about it for quite awhile then looking down at her faithful cat Tom, she asked the genie to transform the pet into a handsome prince who would love her...

Now that Harvey Weinstein's Hollywood career is over, he's decided to open a bank.

Word is that he's been giving out plenty of unwanted advances.
4 jokes are hidden here because they may not be suitable for all ages.
show them anyway

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.