I keep trying to throw out my garbage can

But the garbage men keep emptying it and leaving it there

I had to throw out all of my danish currency

I didn't wanna catch the Kronervirus

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Look, guys, you can't just throw out jokes about Trump's West Point speech willy nilly.

You have to ramp up to them.

Why did the blonde throw out all her rings?

She read that Juuls can kill you.

Was about to throw out my old pillows, then I thought

na, I'll sleep on it.

Why did the shopkeeper throw out the toeless man?

The shopkeeper was lactose intolerant.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An eighteen year old finally decides to throw out his toys.

Andrew was never fond of most of the toys in his collection. He was a professional gamer and had no time for real world items. One day, he decided that he needed to clear out his room and found all his old toys. Without a moment's notice, he placed the whole bag in the garbage bin outside his house....

I got throw out of university for plagiarism...

Their words, not mine.

Yesterday I had to throw out my moldy shredded cheese

It was for the grater good.

I printed out this website's logo and then I realised I didn't need it. Should I throw out the piece of paper or should I...

Shreddit

Why did the golfer throw out his favourite socks?

Because he got a hole in one.

I always have to throw out my animal crackers.

They always have that label: "Do not eat if seal is broken".

A customer was bothering the waiter in a restaurant.

First, he asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour. Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, he walked back and forth and never once got angry.


So finally, a second custo...

Charles, Angus and Patrick are in a helicopter when the pilot informs them they are losing altitude.

Desperately, they throw out whatever they have on them. Charles throws out his teapot, Angus throws out his bagpipes and Patrick throws out a bomb. The helicopter recovers and they land safely.

When Charles gets home, he finds his father in the garden crying. When he asks him what happened, ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Farmer problems (long joke)

There was a farmer, who owned a Datsun Ute. He used this Datsun for all his farm work, feeding the horses.. Throwing bails of hay out the back of it.. Carrying firewood and what not. When all of sudden one day, chug chug chug it breaks down.

So he decides to go back to the shed to grab his tr...

A journalist named John moved to a new city, where he noticed something strange...

Citizens of the city get a quarter for every bag of garbage they throw out!
John did not understand how this came to be, and decided to ask one of his new neighbors.

The neighbor told John that a few years ago, the city was not special at all with its garbage disposal system. Everybody di...

A new recruit in the Navy was being put through the paces by an experienced captain.

"What would you do if a sudden storm sprang up on the starboard?"

"Throw out an anchor, sir," the recruit replied.

"What would you do if another storm sprang up after?"

"Throw out another anchor, sir."

"And if another terrific storm sprang up forward, what would you do th...

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