64 Jokes - 43 Hilarious 64 Jokes

The Nintendo 64 turned 18 today

Now you can legally blow the cartridges.

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A young Geordie lad moved to London and went to Harrods looking for a job. The manager asked "Do you have any sales experience?" The young man answered "Aye, I was a canny salesman back in Newcastle."

The manager liked the Geordie so he gave him the job. His first day on the job was challenging and busy, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the manager came down and asked "OK,...... so how many sales did you make today?" The Geordie said "Just the one like" The manager groaned an...

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Did you know that too much sex can cause memory loss?

I read that in a medical journal on page 64, at 2:34pm on Friday 15th of August, 2021.

When my grandmother turned 64, she started walking 5 miles a day

She 92 and I have no idea where she's at.

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A couple, both age 76, went to a sex therapist’s office. The doctor asked, “What can I do for you?”

The man said, “Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?” The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed.

When the couple finished, the doctor said, “There’s nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse,” and charged them $80. This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appo...

If I had a dollar for everytime someone called me a boring nerd..

I'd have a mean daily income of $5.64 with a standard deviation of $1.25

Survey results show 64 percent of women have used vibrators.

The rest have new ones.

64% of the people are bad at math, according to a recent statistic

Lucky me, I belong to the other 46%

Made love to my wife for 64 minutes last night

Thanks, Daylight Savings Time!

The inventor of the wind chill factor died this week.

He was 86 but felt more like he was 64.

What do you call 64 white guys in one room

One full Cherokee

According to a survey 64% of Americans couldn't locate Ukraine on a world map.

The other 36% said, "What's a world map?"

A blonde fills a stadium with 90,000 people to prove blondes are smart

She fills up the stadium with 90,000 blondes, TV crew, News crews all of the media.

She calls up one volunteer from the crowd.

The host says: "Lets start with some simple maths questions"

Blonde: "Sure"

The host asks, "What's 3 times 8?"

After 20 seconds the blond...

Jupiter has a total of 64 moons.

Their werewolf problem must be enormous.

While walking down "K" St, I noticed the houses were numbered 32, 64, 128, 256, and 512.

It was a stroll down Memory Lane.

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I didn't learn much from Mario Party 64, but I did learn that...

the button mashing and joy stick rotation techniques don't necessarily translate well to the bedroom.

Relationships should be like Nintendo 64 classic...

Fun to spend time with and every issue fixed by blowing and shoving it back in.

Did you know 64% of men kiss their wives goodbye when they leave their house.

And 90% of men kiss their house goodbye when they leave their wife!!!...

TIL that Sir Paul McCartney once turned down nearly $64 million to appear on an American talk show because he wanted to stay home and watch his favorite sport on TV.

It was *Ellen* or rugby.

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An easier question

Bob had finally made it to the last round of the $64,000 Question. The night before the big question, he told the M.C. that he desired a question on American History.

The big night had arrived. Bob made his way on stage in front of the studio and TV audience. He had become the talk of the wee...

An old one. What lies on the bottom of the sea and shakes?

A nervous wreck!

I first heard this at xmas 1952 (64 years ago) and it still makes me smile.

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Astronomy Fact: You can fit 63 Earths inside Uranus

64 if you relax.

Who are the fastest readers ?

9/11 victims, they went through 64 stories in just 8 seconds

A man is standing on a bridge over a dangerous river,

constantly saying "63, 63, 63..." over and over. Suddenly a tourist comes by and asks why is he just standing there repeating that number. The man didn't answer, instead he just pushes the tourist off the bridge into the river and says: "64, 64, 64..."

Credit: dad

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My mom sent me this joke

There is a new study about women and how they feel about their asses. The results were pretty interesting:

27% of women think their ass is too fat.

9% of women think their ass is too skinny.

And the remaining 64% say they don't care, they love him, he is a good man and they wou...

A computer program required 8 bits of memory

A computer program required 8 bits of memory but the programmer mistakenly allocated space for a 64 bit integer instead

They then tried to rectify the issue by declaring a second 64 bit integer but this didn't have the desired effect

Two longs don't make a byte

What do you call a really old computer with sperm on it?

A *cum*modore 64!

Knight vs dragon

A knight is fighting a dragon. He cuts its head, but the dragon grows two new heads. The knight cuts them, but the dragon grows 4 heads. The knight cuts them, the dragon grows 8 heads. The knight cuts them, the dragon grows 16 heads. The knight cuts them, the dragon grows 32 heads. The knight cuts t...

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Why was Stormy Daniels considered the porn star and not Donald Trump?

After all, he's about to go down in front of 64.9 Million people on twitter!!!

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My husband told me today that he was happy to be 14 years older than me...

So he (64) wouldn’t be there to see me (50) becoming an old bitchy woman. I replied: ”If you’re not there anymore, why should I be bitchy?” He couldn’t answer...

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How many reddit users does it take to replace a lightbulb?

1 to make a post about it,
4 to mention that its the wrong forum,
1 to post it to the right forum,
7 to suggest op should post it to the electronics forum,
2 to post it to the electronics forum,
1 mod to delete the second post,

3 to suggest an image post would have gathered mor...

What does a Mathematician say when he eats too much pie?

√(-1/64)

A professor was giving a big test one day to his students.

He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait.

Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point."

The next class the professor...

A lady is concerned her new puppy dog is deaf

The dog doesn’t seem to hear her trying to call it at all, so she decides to take the puppy to see the vet. The vet says “well sometimes these schnauzers grow to much hair in their ears and can’t hear very well”. The vet checks the puppy’s ears, and sure enough they are overgrown with hair. The vet ...

But you didn't pick up

Two Types of People:
---- 1. I called you but you didn't pickup
---- 2. I called you from my iPhone 6 Plus 64 GB and you didn't pickup.

A teacher and her student practice counting

Teacher: OK now, 61,62,63,64,65,66,67,68,69...what comes after 69?
Student: Mouthwash
That student was sent home

[LONG] A Man Gets Arrested

He gets introduced to his cell mate and they talk for a bit, turns out his cell mate has been here longer than anyone. After a while, someone in their cell block shouts "14!". A couple people giggle at this. The man ignores it, assuming it's some inside joke he won't understand for a while. After so...

A Warrior Cuts off the head of a Hydra formed by fusing 8 mythical beast,

and 2 heads Grows in it place,

he cuts those off and 4 grows,

he cuts those off and 8 grows,

he cuts those off and 16 grows,

he cuts those off and 32 grows,

he cuts those off and 64 grows,

he cuts those off and 128 grows,

he cuts those off and the Hyd...

A famous car designer...

A famous car designer was about to retire at the age of 64 due to health concerns. For all his life, he had strived for perfection in his craft of designing cars, specifically for Kia. In each of his 32 models, he was instrumental in some innovation or vastly improved function.

He called for ...

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I found my daughters diary and read it.

So I've been trying to get my daughter to clean up her room for a long while now, all to no avail. So yesterday when she went out, I decided that I would do it.

For the most part it was just typical teenage mess, clothes everywhere, the occasional food wrapper. However when i was cleaning out...

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There is this child in 1st grade and he's doing poorly in school.

His dad is concerned and asked what he can do to help. The child tells his father "Dad, if you get me 2 pink ping pong balls, I'll get my grades up." The child gets 2 pink ping pong balls and gets his grades up and moves onto second grade.

In 2nd grade, he's not doing well again. He tells his...

A guy on the red scooter arrives at the monastery where 1024 monks lived...

The monk opens the door.

-How can I help you? - he asks.

-Could I sleep here tonight?

-OK, come in.

While he was sleeping, the roof has fallen, killing half of the monks. Now there are 512 left.

The next day, a guy on the red scooter returnes.<...

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[NSFW] The unbelievable Bob

A couple spend their honeymoon in a beautiful city and, during a walk, they go through a house of porno shows,
with a sign to announce:

"Today, the unbelievable Bob".

The couple decides to come in and the show begins with Bob, 39, in a bed with a blonde, a brunette and a ginger,
...

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