UPJOKE
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2b Jokes

I own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot

Now I can’t tell if it’s 2B or not 2B

Why did Shakespeare only write in ink?

Pencils posed an issue; 2B or not 2B

I've decided to marry a pencil

I can't wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B

whats the biggest problem while buying a pencil?

2B or not 2B

i have a 2B pencil, and a 2H pencil, the question is which should i use?

2B or not 2B?

It seems like anything goes these days. A friend of mine has just become engaged to a pencil!

Now he wants to introduce me to his bride, 2B.

One of Shakespeare's original pencils is going up for auction

Problem is its very chewed, so nobody can tell if its 2b or not 2b

I was rejected from my dream art school because I used the wrong pencil.

It wasn’t 2B.

I'm having a hard time trying to decide on which pencil to use for my English literature exam.

2B or not 2B - that is the question.

I'm about to embark on a huge art conquest of Shakespeare's work and am undecided on which pencil to use...

2B or not 2B

An old Joke by Lee Mack on... 8 out of 10 Cats plays Countdown, I believe?

I popped into an second-hand store the other day and bought a pencil. What's remarkable about the pencil, is that it used to be used by Shakespeare!



...Only thing is, the top part is all chewed up, so I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.

I failed my Shakespeare test because I forgot to study and I used the wrong pencil.

I couldn't tell whether it was 2B or not 2B.

What size drum sticks does William Shakespeare use?

2B, or not 2B.

I always feel kind of poetic looking for my car in parking garages.

Is it 2B or... not 2B?

Why did Shakespeare use ink when he wrote his plays?

Because he couldn’t decide which pencil to use; 2B or not 2B.

Shakespeare was at the store looking for pencils, but he couldn’t decide which ones to buy.

2B or not 2B; that was the question.

Choosing pencils is impossible for me, I'm always confused with the amount of blackness I need.

2B or not 2B, that is the question.

I was having trouble with my English homework...

There were almost 20 questions on Shakespeare's Hamlet I did not understand, so I asked my friend Jim for some help:

"Jim am I supposed to answer the one after 2 a) or just skip it till we get back to class?"

"Oh I did 2 a), it's really easy."

"No, dude, the one AFTER 2 a)."...

What did the artist ask Shakespeare when he was sketching his portrait?

2B or not 2B?

William Shakespeare once manned the welcome desk at a popular hotel

One day an elderly man walked up to the desk and asked for a room.


Shakespeare quickly found a room available on the second floor and asked him if this is the room he wished to book. The forgetful, ancient individual stared at Shakespeare for several uncomfortable seconds.

"I'm so...

A philosopher goes to a hotel.

Philosopher: Can I get a room please?
Receptionist: Sure. Which one? 2B or not 2B?

A pencil sketch artists' greatest dilemma.....

2B or not 2B?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A wood expert.

A drunk man in a bar began bragging that he could identify any type of wood by its smell only.

The bartender and patrons decided to test him. The man was blindfolded and presented with several pieces of wood.

First they put a pencil infront of his nose. He smelled it and said, "That's...

A pencil stands face to face against his nemesis, Paper. Will our hero find the strength he needs to overcome his greatest foe?!

2B continued...

Guy gets a job as a spy...

He's sent on his first mission, and told that the secret passphrase he has to give to contacts is, "The night-bird flies at dawn."

He's instructed to go to London, head to Piccadilly Circus, and speak to a guy in a purple fedora, busking. So he flies to London, goes to Piccadilly Circus, fin...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So this guy Eric Bush's father Alan died last Saturday

And in the will it was stated that his entire multi-million-dollar fortune would go to Eric. He was delighted, but his bequest was dependent on a single condition: that he had to spend $10,000 of that fortune the night of the will's reading. Sort of a Brewster's Millions type of situation, ya know?...

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