President Xi doesnt take a dump..

He has a Pooh!

Chineese president Xi Jinping passed a private note to Donald Trump at their last meeting.

It was very short and Trump thought it was obviously some sort of a code that simply read: “370HSSV-0773H”

He smiled, winked at Xi Jinping and pretended he knew what it said.

Later he asked his aids who couldn’t figure it out. He called the head of the FBI and CIA and none could figur...

The Pope, Xi Jinping and Donald Trump are summoned by God

"OK", said God, "the world's gonna end in 20 years, go back and prepare your people".

The Pope prepared a great mass at St. Peter's Square and announced "Dear Catholics, I have good and bad news. Rejoice, for God is real, but also repent, for the end of the world is coming in 20 years".
...

Kim Jung Un called Xi Jinping at 3:30 in the morning.

Xi: Why are you calling at *this* time?

Kim: I am going to test a nuke.

Xi: Okay, when are you going to do this?

Kim: 10.

Xi: 10 what? In 10 months? 10 weeks? 10 days?

Kim: 9.

Naming the COVID-19 variants, the WHO skipped the greek letter 'xi'.

They did that in order to not insult the leader of West Taiwan.

How was president Xi elected?

He was highest in the Peking order.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man yelled on the GreatWall of China, "Xi the pooh has a tiny penis"

He was caught by the police in a minute.

He was then notified that all of his family members are held up by the police. In the same evening, he was brought to the court.

The judge: You committed a very serious crime, you need not talk, you are now sentenced to death, so are you...

I heard Xi Jingping is going to publish his own little red book of quotes like Mao....

It's going to be called "That's what Xi Said".

Without Arabs, we wouldn't have 9/11.

We'd have IX/XI instead.

The US and Chinese virtual summit got off to a rocky start today.

They kept having issues with Xi Jin’s ping.

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I was on PornHub the other day and there was an ad that read: 'free asian asshole pics'.

When I clicked on it it was just a picture of Xi Jinping.

Years ago, Nobel peace prize winner Liu Xiaobo died in custody under Xi Jinping, who denied any connection to the incident.

They said it’s a matter of “He said, Xi said.”

Donald Trump, Vladimir Putin, Xi Jinping and Jean-Claude Juncker all jump from a plane without a parachute, in what order do they hit the ground?

Doesn't matter.

I wanted to run for president of China, but apparently I'm not allowed to.

At least, that's what Xi said...

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Xi Jinping was on his balcony during the early morning, admiring all that Bejing has become?

He inhaled a sweet breath of fresh Bejing air and looked East to see the sun smiling down.

"Hello, Sun", said Xi Jinping.

The sun replied "Hello Glorious Leader, the architect of a grand Communist Utopia. Best wishes leading your already prosperous nation."

Xi Jinping, despite ...

What does Xi Jinping and Winnie the Pooh have in common?

They both will do anything for ~~m~~honey.

Why did the Chinese President Xi Jinping decide to accept Hong Kong's declaration of independence?

He was unable to resist their Honey Pot Operation.

Constantine XI : Ships can't walk on lands

Mehmed II the Conqueror: Hold my Kebab

Granting Xi Jinping’s wishes

Xi Jinping has always wanted to be emperor.

After this Crowning Achievement of his, I guess that’s ONE way to finally get coronated.

Communist Party centenary live:

**China has never ‘oppressed’ another country and never will, Xi says**

What is Xi Jinpings pet name for the Russian president?

Winnie the Putin

What is the celebrity couple name for Kim Jong Un and Xi Jinping?

Kimchi

What did Genghis Khan's mother tell him after he destroyed Xi Xia?

Just because you Genghis Khan, doesn't mean you Genghis should.

His holiness the Dalai Lama

Sent an email to Xi Jinping.

Xi Jinping opened the email and clicked on the attachment.

It was malware and the Party's computer system crashed.

Xi Jinping got on the phone and angrily demanded an answer from His Holiness.

"With attachment, comes suffering", said the Dalai...

Did you hear the one about Xi Jinping?

This joke has been flagged for violations of our *new* content policy, specifically our policy against inappropriate speech.

Xi went to Guangxi and spoke with the governor about the fine people of China

The governor: Fine people... I don't know...

Xi: I will show you. Hey, you! Come here! What do you do?

Farmer: I'm a farmer.

Xi: Let me ask you. If you had two houses, would you give one to the government?

Without any hesitation, the farmer says yes. Xi turns to the gover...

Say what you like about China...

[This post has been removed by the Communist Party of China (CPC) of the People's Republic of China at the discretion of General Xi Jinping]

The Chinese President dies of a chronic disease. How does his wife feel?

Xi's Jinping with joy.

Who is the president of china?

An entrepreneur was looking to do business overseas. He asked his assistant "Who is the president of China?"

His assistant replied, "No, Xi is the president of China."

"Who's she?"

No boss, "Hu is Hu, Xi is Xi"

A prophet in france

There was a prophet in France during the reign of king Louis XI who predicted the death of one of his advisors eight days before the advisor died.

The king decided that the prophet was too dangerous to be left alive and called on his royal guard

"Grab this prophet and bring him to me."...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

China’s lack of transparency on virus is fuelling rumors: US experts

It’s basically all this he said Xi said bullshit.

Whats the difference between a nuclear-ravaged wasteland and Hong Kong?

The amount Xi has been drinking.

What did the head of WHO say when he was asked, "How did China's president convince you Coronavirus is under control?"

Xi blinded me with science.

How do know when your joke is mean?

x̄ = ( Σ xi ) / n

The heads of state of the US and China sit down to a meeting.

Donald Trump says to Xi Jinping, "I'm gonna build a wall, it's going to be the best wall, Jinping, you've got a wall, I'm going to build it better than yours."

Xi replies, "It took thousands of Chinese workers a very long time to build the Great Wall. Are you sure your country is ready for th...

There’s a lot of blaming and accusations going on concerning the Trump/China trade talks. Basically . . .

It’s a lot of He said Xi said.

In China, you can criticise every Roman numeral from I to X.

But you can't criticize Xi.

Why does everyone think China's first lady is so naughty?

Because that's what Xi said.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy from Apple promised me a pre-release of a new product if I sucked his cock this morning. As if I would compromise my values for such a materialistic item!

Sent from my iPhone XI

The trade war between the U.S. and China is really devolving

Into a case of he said, Xi said.

A competition was held to determine the country with the best police force in the world

The finalists were U.S., China and Russia, and each were represented by a five-man team.

On the day of the competition, the three teams gathered outside Tongass National Forest in Alaska, alongside a few thousand cheering fans. U.N. Secretary General António Guterres opened the envelope conta...

What did the leaders of China and N. Korea order for lunch at their meeting

Kim-Xi

President Obama has a meeting with the President of China to discuss debt...

President Obama has a meeting with Xi Jinping to discuss the debt the US owes to China. He arrives at the Chinese presidential mansion with Joe Biden, but they find there is work going on in the garden and lots of mud everywhere. So they have to roll up their trouser legs and step carefully to enter...

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