The wisest men in the village could not figure out where the sun went at night.

So they stayed up all night discussing it.
And then it dawned on them.
 
 
 
(I'll see myself out.)

A forest was in the process of being cut down

The forest animals were concerned that their habitat was being destroyed so they consulted the oldest wisest tree in the forest on what they could do to save the forest.

The wise tree thought about it and said
perhaps the bears can scare the loggers away. The bears snarled and charged the...

A store for wisdom

Dr. Who was traveling through time and space, when he came upon a cache of the universe's best wise sayings. He loaded them into the Tardis and decided to set up a shop on a nice little corner just outside of reality to sell the sayings to the great thinkers and writers of all time. He advertised hi...

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Friend: "You're a lot like Socrates"

Me: "Because I'm the wisest man around?"

Friend: "No, because you piss everyone off"

A Tale Of Two Letters

Stalin, knowing that his time was short and that Khrushchev would be his eventual successor, summoned Nikita to a very private meeting. After telling Khrushchev how lonely it could get at the top, Stalin said: "I've left for you two letters containing my wisest counsel in the bottom drawer of the...

What's the wisest kind of modeling putty?

Play-toh.

The Ivory Throne of the King of Timbuktu

Hundreds of years ago, when glorious Timbuktu was nothing more than a large collection of grass huts, the King of that great city declared his wish for a throne fit for such a mighty ruler. Of ivory it was to be, exquisitely carved, inlaid with gold leaf, decorated with diamonds and emeralds and sap...

A man stumbles upon a magic lamp...

He rubs the lamp and a genie pops out!

The genie says that he will grant the man only one wish, and that he has to pick from three choices. He can either be the richest man in the world, the most popular man in the world, or the wisest man in the world. The man says "We all know that money do...

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Why do they call Joe Biden Walking Eagle?

While meeting with leaders of the Native American tribes, Donald Trump overheard them speaking to each other about "Walking Eagle."

Trump pulled one of the leaders aside and asked who "Walking Eagle" was.

"Oh," said the elder, "that's our name for Joe Biden."

Trump scowled. "Wh...

The Meaning Of Life

A young man goes to search for the meaning of life. He decides to ask around.


The first person he meets is a wealthy man. "That's easy," he says. "The meaning of life is to accumulate wealth. Then you can transform and inspire your community." The young man takes this advice to heart. He ...

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Totally didn't steal this from r/iamverysmart

Once, the Oracle of Delphi had declared Socrates to be the wisest man in the world.

In response, Socrates said "Surely I'm not, for there's so much about this world that I don't know. I know not the meaning of life nor truth nor purpose, and so much more. Please, Oracle, let me find the true ...

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Theological debate

One day, the Pope decided he'd ban all Jews from the Vatican. The Jews understandibly got really angry about this, so the Pope proclaimed that if a Jew could manage to beat him in a theological debate, they could stay.

The Jews chose their wisest rabbi for the religious debate against the Pop...

"Rabbi, rabbi"

One day, a teenage boy goes to his father- a rabbi at their small town's only synagogue- and says "Father, it pains me to say this, but I've decided to convert to Christianity."

The Rabbi, with no idea what to do, decides to walk ten miles to a much larger city, where he found a synagogue muc...

The kingdom of the ogre.

Once upon a time, an evil ogre ruled over the land of the Trids. Most of the time he left his subjects alone, and even managed the kingdom quite well, and times were prosperous. But once a week, he would come down from his hilltop castle and spend an hour *kicking* every Trid he saw. Doesn’t matt...

Bob Had Terrible BO...

And no matter how much he washed or scrubbed, he couldn't get rid of it. He tried hundreds of soaps and shampoos but nothing seemed to work. He showered five times a day, kept the AC on 24/7 and avoided garlic and beans like the plague, but alas people still gagged as they walked behind him.

...

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Joke Contest in the Animal Kingdom

Once upon a time, there was a great famine within the animal kingdom so all the animals gathered to solve this serious issue. Desperate times calls for desperate measures and they had to find a way to reduce the animal population. The owl, being the wisest in the kingdom, hatched an idea and said "E...

The rapper and the artifact

A very famous artifact recovered from an old monastery had been set for auction, with the promise that the money would go to an orphanage supported by the same monastery. This artifact was one of a kind, nobody knew exactly what it was but they knew that it was incredibly rare. Very few people knew ...

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A man's entire family was killed by a masked dolphin...

He set off on a quest for vengeance. He searched high and low for the identity of the masked dolphin. He traveled the world, asking dolphin Gurus and dolphin historians. He searched for ten years before he found his first clue.

In a shallow pool at the top of a tall mountain he found a dolphi...

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A man living in a village gets sick

The villagers carry him to a doctor in the city. The doctor prescribes him a suppository, and says "Give it from the anus". The villagers say okay, and return to the village. They ask all of the townspeople, but nobody, even the wisest ones don't know what anus means. Only thing they can do is askin...

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Several centuries ago, the Pope...

Several centuries ago, the Pope ruled that all Jews in must convert or leave Italy. Obviously, there was a huge outcry amongst the Jewish community. The Pope then decided,

"So be it. Send to me your greatest scholar, and we will have a religious debate. If he can beat me, then you all can sta...

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One day, there were 3 men hiking through a forest.......

After several hours, they started to get lost, and started to try find their way back.
As they journeyed on, they discovered 3 empty pools in a clearing.
A fairy then appeared and congratulated them on their find, and tells them "these pools are magical. As you jump in, yell out whatever you...

Back when Canada was just becoming a nation...

the people were unsure of what to name their great northern nation. After many hours of heated dispute, they went to one of their wisest elders. Upon hearing their quandary, he said to them "bring me a bowl of chits of every letter."


Confused as to what the elder would possibly need the c...

5 People on a crashing plane and only 4 parachutes

The smartest person on earth
The most athletic person on earth
The wisest person on earth
The pilot and a mailman

The pilot said "I drove this plane so I should get one" then he jumps of with the parachute

The most athletic person on earth said "I'm the most athletic person ...

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The bird who sought a purpose

Apologies if a joke like this was already submitted, I just discovered this wonderful subreddit and I'd like to chip in :)

A bird had long traveled the country side. He was never content with his meager life, and sought a purpose. One day, the bird came upon quite a sight! A massive clearing ...

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A man with half an orange as a head

A man with half an orange for a head walks into a bar. The bartender takes one look at him and says, 'Okay, man, I just have to know. I'll shout you a beer if you tell me just how your head came to be half an orange.' The man sits down at the bar and says, 'Well, it happened like this.'

'I'm ...

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It was a dark and starry night……

A man was driving down a road through a dark forest, when suddenly his car broke down. It was getting very late, so the man decided to scout the area on foot. He gets his flashlight and starts walking. He finds a monastery nearby. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, "My car bro...

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The Rabbi and the Cardinal

A large number of Jewish immigrants have moved into a pastoral Italian town. The locals, fearful that resources won't be able to accommodate this influx of people, complain to their local cardinal who agrees to settle the matter. He accepts a challenge to a theological debate with the wisest of th...

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Don't Mesh With Birbal

Once there was a king named Akbar. He had a beautiful and hot queen with very attractive boobs. Even his courtiers could not resist looking at those boobs. Tansen, a cunning courtier had a great desire of sucking those boobs. He told Birbal, the wisest minister of the king about his desires and prom...

Three southern woman sitting in the hair salon talking about the pet names for their men.

First woman says "I call my man Southern Comfort, cos he's a big man and he keeps me warm all night in bed"

Second woman's says "I call my man Budweiser cos his name is Buddy and he's the wisest man I ever met"

Third women says "I call my man Drambuie, cos he is one hell of a fancy lic...

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