UPJOKE
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Omniscient Jokes

I woke up and I'm still not omniscient.

Don't know how I feel about that.

So I says to God I says, How you so omniscient?

And God says, I know right?

I’m a nescient omniscient.

I don’t know everything.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A mathematician, a philosopher, and an idiot come before the gates of heaven.

St. Peter looks over the three of them and says, "Heaven's getting pretty full, so I can only let one of you in. The other two will have to go to hell." So he snaps his fingers and Satan appears.

Satan says, "Each of you can ask me one question. If you can stump me on the first try, you win, ...

Stephen Sondheim, John Madden, and Betty White walk up to the Pearly Gates

And St. Peter says, "We're pretty full, so we're making people pass additional tests. I know this is going to sound weird, but God has been hanging out with Chuck Yeager this week, and he's only letting in people who have a connection to Jets." All three sets of eyes light up.

Sondheim step...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dave part 2

So after dave's boss died, dave lived his life and died then shit went down on earth and the whole humanity disappeared.
The judgment day came every human being was standing waiting for his turn and dave was looking around him, he saw his boss went to him and started apologizing for causing his ...

A Communist dies...

...at home with his family. He was a good man in life, caring for his family and working hard for the good of Socialism and his fellow man. However, being a Communist and therefore an Atheist, he is not allowed entrance into Heaven, and being such a good man, he cannot be consigned to Hell forever, ...

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