Windows Jokes

Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and then gently tap edges with hammer."

Wife texts back 10 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now."

I asked him and he said, "I still love vista, baby!"

Because Jerry had the mouse!

Next year I'll be hiding my advent calendar.

Because my PC is a Dell.


(please don't hurt me it's my first post on r/Jokes omg)

Windows puts your deleted files in the Recycle Bin while macOS just throws them in the Trash.

'Cause I'll do you later

To keep your hands warm when pushing them.

It's always working on updates.

So they can see the battlefield!

...what's worse, if you play it forwards, it installs Vista.

They drink wine

Because not now.

PASSWORD PROBLEMS:

WINDOWS: Please enter your new password.

USER: cabbage


WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.

USER: boiled cabbage



WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.
... read more

They've never been able to count. They came out with Microsoft DOS without ever releasing Microsoft UNO.

A young woman had the windows in her house replaced with new double-insulated energy efficient windows. Twelve months later, she got a call from the contractor, complaining that the work has been done for a year and she had yet to make the first payment.

The woman replied, "Now don't try to p... read more

Curtains

Really? I'm already on 98. Why are you all so far behind?

And Microsoft had to accept his terms and conditions.

So that water doesn't hit you square in the face.

She said, "I wouldn't be seen dead in that thing!"

I said, "That's the point."

During a cold winter day a wife messaged to her husband that “the Windows frozen”. Husband replied to pour some warm water on them. After a while husband received a message again “No way, the computer is completely spoilt now” !

Because they no longer have the iron curtain.

Because 7 8 9












I'm so sorry

Because it keeps crashing.

It puts me on Edge every time

But instead I might just draw the curtains.

A guy driving a Kia pulls up at a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce...

The driver of the Kia rolls down his window and shouts to the driver of the Rolls, "Hey, buddy, that’s a nice car. You got Wi-Fi in your Rolls? I’ve got Wi-Fi in my Kia!"

The driver of the Rolls looks over and says s... read more

He said, "I still love Vista, baby!"

On the condition he gets to install windows.

but it received tons of backslash from the community.

--
Source: Aaron Peterson, Twitter.

but you can't jump out of a Mac

**Client:** How good are you guys at PowerPoint?

**IT Expert:** We Excel at it...

**Client:** Was that a Microsoft Office pun?

**IT Expert:** Word.

Every time they get near an apple it keeps them away.

A mirror

She's terrible at keeping your information safe, keeps promising new upgrades but really has been the same OS since 98, and is constantly trying to install herself when you're happy with the system you've been using for the last 8 years.

So the cars can meet their real owners.

When a sheet of glass is disrespected, it experiences extreme discomfort for up to twelve minutes after.
This phenomenon is called window pain

You can see right through it.

They keep summoning the Task Manager

(Sorry: this came to my mind as I was getting frustrated with my slow computer)