Fun fact: French tanks in WWII had rear-veiw mirrors.

This allows them to see the frontline too.

Working at a mirror factory

is something I could see myself doing.

Still can't decide if I need a mirror or not

I need to reflect on this

A pensioner drove his brand new BMW to 100 mph, looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a police car behind him...

He floored it to 140 , then 150, ... then 155, ... Suddenly he thought,

"I'm too old for this nonsense !"

So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police car to catch up with him.

The officer walked up to him, looked at his watch and said,

"Sir, my ...

A fight was started downtown by a man wearing a suit made completely of mirrors

The police said the man apologized once he had time to sit down and reflect.

“Why cant i see my reflection in a mirror”

Stevie wondered

Visitor: My favorite part of the zoo is the cage that says 'World's most dangerous animal' and it's just a mirror in it

Zookeeper: Yup, thought-provoking stuff. \*Whispering into phone\* The leopard's escaped again

What does the egotistical cheese say to itself in the mirror

Halloumi

Mirror mazes always make me depressed

All around me are familiar faces

My wife looked into the mirror and said "I feel fat and it's making me depressed."



"Well then," I replied "stop touching it."

You’re speeding down a road when you see red and blue lights in your rearview mirror...

You tense up and pull over to the side of the road. The cop pulls over behind you on a police motorcycle. You’re perspiring hastily at the thought of getting a ticket. The cop approaches your vehicle and says “Do you know how fast you were growing?”

You say “Yes officer, I was going fifteen ...

I decided to wear a mirror today.

In reflection, I thought I could see myself wearing it. I haven't looked back since.

I'll see myself out.

What's worse luck than breaking a mirror?

A Condom, that one might just get you for 18 years or more.

Two blondes are walking down the street when one of them sees a small mirror on the ground...

She picks it up and looks into it. With a puzzled look on her face, she says to her friend "hmmm this woman looks familiar". Her friend grabs the mirror from her and looks into it. "Of course that woman looked familiar, you idiot. It's me!"

I decided to remove all the mirrors from my home.

Not a good idea on reflection

If you don't clean your mirrors...

...it reflects badly on you.

*Looks in to mirrors*

Wow! I like that one! And it's only $15.

One of my friends has a job making mirrors.

I personally couldn't see myself doing that.

I want to make mirrors for a living

Its something I could really see myself doing

I've recently bought a mirror for my bike.

I've never looked back since.

I took the rear view mirror out of my car...

Haven’t looked back since.

You're locked in a room with no doors and no windows, just a table and a mirror. How do you escape?

You look in the mirror. See what you saw. Use the saw to cut the table in half. Two halves make a whole. Climb out the hole.

A brunette, redhead and blond went to a remote fitness spa deep in the mountains for some fun and relaxation.

After a stimulating healthy lunch, all three decided to visit the ladies room and found a strange-looking woman sitting at the entrance who said, "Welcome to the ladies room. Be sure to check out our newest feature: a mirror which, if you look into it and say something truthful, you will be awarded ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Headache & testicles

Joe had suffered from really bad headaches for the last 20 years.

He eventually decides to go and see a Doctor.

The Doctor says, 'Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches.

The bad news is that it will require removing your testicles.

You have a very rare condition...

Three women are looking at their hair in the mirror.

The first says, "I really need to get this cut and styled so I can have pigtails."

The second nods. "I'm looking for more of a ponytail look." She laughs. "Isn't it funny how many styles are named after parts of animals?"

The third girl laughs. "I know right? Just the other day, I got ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW A blonde has been out for cocktails with her friends. She drives off and is speeding down the Interstate, when she hears the wail of a siren & then sees the blue & red lights in her mirror. The police wave her down. So she takes the exit, parks and the police car pull up behind.

The cop nudges his partner and says "She's a blonde, just watch this"
He walks up to her car and indicates for her to wind down her window. She does so.

Cop: "Ma'am, any idea what speed you were doing?"

Blonde: "How would I know that?"
Cop: "The speedometer Ma'am.
Blonde: "Wh...

A vampire sells a mirror

Cheap mirror, excellent condition; Never used.

After my grandfather died, I inherited some of his clothes.

He was a farmer and he loved getting dressed up every year for the local fair and exhibiting his prize chickens.

For this occasion, my grandmother would spend the entire year searching through thrift shops looking for silly neckties for him to wear, and she loved finding ones with chickens on...

A blonde cop is patrolling the highway when she sees a blonde motorist weaving in and out of traffic.

The cop pulls over the motorist and asks for her ID. Note that the motorist was wearing a pink ensemble and that the cop was in uniform when the incident happened.

Cop: May I see your ID, ma'am?

Motorist: What's an ID?

Cop: It's a rectangle with a picture of your face on it.
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Donald Trump goes to the doctor...

Doctor, doctor every time I look in the mirror I get aroused..

Doctor replies: I'm not surprised.. You're a cunt

Is anyone else seeing a stranger in their mirror

Or is it just me?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I can't get Mirror's Edge to work on my computer and it's pissing me off.

My friend told me the game runs on windows.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Damn girl, is that a mirror in your back pocket?

Cuz that ass is flat as hell!

Awoken is looking at herself in a mirror

She says to her husband “ I look fat, ugly and horrible, give me a compliment”
He says “your eyesight is spot on”

The ice cream truck is going down the street

And a lady runs after it but it doesn't see her and keeps going. She keeps following until the driver sees her in his mirror. He stops and shes out of breath

Truck driver: “hey, sorry about that, I didn't see you, what can I get you? “

Out of breath she says “I just wanted to tell you....

Mirrors are weird. Everybody looks at them differently.

For instance, I look in a mirror, and in my opinion the mirror is the most beautiful thing, but if you looked in it, you'd be disgusted by the sight of pure hideousness.

Mirrors are weird.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One day, a girl comes home crying, upset that her boyfriend had just dumped her.

Devastated, she starts trashing the place, smashing pictures of her ex-boyfriend and knocking things off shelves, rampaging from room to room. In her mother’s bedroom she rips down the curtains, jumps on the bed and smashes some mirrors. She finally calms down enough to notice that a small secret dr...

A Blonde Woman, a Ginger Woman, a Brunette Woman, and a Black Haired Woman are Standing in Front of a Magic Mirror

The Mirror says to them: "Tell me what you think about your qualities. If they are true, you will be transported to your dream beach home. If it is false, you will be sucked into the dark dimension within me."

All the women pause for a moment.

The Brunette woman broke the silence by s...

Magic mirror

Three ladies walked into a bar. One brunette, one redhead, and one blonde. They went to the tender and he said:” theres a magic mirror in the bathroom, if you tell the truth in front of it you will walk away with whatever you wish for. If you lie however, you will disappear forever”

The thre...

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Husband to wife: “I’m not sure why, but every time I look at myself naked in the mirror I get a massive erection”

Wife to husband: “It’s because you’re a cunt”

A 13 month old baby breaks a mirror, giving it 7 years of bad luck.

The good news, his mom is an anti-vaxxer.

A beer bottle, a mirror, and a condom are all talking to each other about luck....

Beer Bottle: You break me, you get 1 year of bad luck!




Mirror: You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get 7 years bad luck!



Condom: Hahaha... (Condom walks off laughing)

My wife wouldn’t agree to installing a mirror on our bedroom ceiling!

She can’t stand to see me enjoy myself!

The game in the first episode of the new season of black mirror wasn't going to be called striking vipers

They wanted to call it Smash Bros but it was already taken

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who also was a blonde...

The blonde cop asked to see the blonde’s driver’s license. She dug
through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.
“What does it look like?” she finally asked.
The policewoman replied, “It’s square and it has your picture on it.”
The driver finally found a square mirror in...

The man was standing naked in front of the mirror, "just 5 more centimeters... 5 more centimeters and I could've been the king"

From the door, his wife giggled. " Just 5 less
centimeters and you could've been the queen instead"

I asked my magic mirror if there was anyone prettier than me.

Does anyone know how to turn it off it hasn’t shut up since last night.

My friend has a habit of taking blurry pictures of himself in the bathroom mirror after taking hot showers...

I thunk he has a high selfie steam problem.

A girl is looking in the mirror feeling very self-conscious about her body. She tells her boyfriend laying on the bed that she feels fat and if he could give her a compliment to feel better.

The boyfriend says “Your eyesight is perfect.”

My local mirror shop got robbed at gunpoint...

I couldn't see myself going there again.

A doctor goes out and buys the best car on the market, a brand new Ferrari GTO. It is also the most expensive car in the world, and it costs him $500,000. He takes it out for a spin and stops at a red light.

An old man on a moped, looking about 100 years old, pulls up next to him.

The old man looks over at the sleek shiny car and asks, “What kind of car ya got there, sonny?”

The doctor replies, “A Ferrari GTO. It cost half a million dollars!”

“That’s a lot of money,” says the old ma...

The Retired Husband

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target.

Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following...

I applied for a job at a furniture factory and they said they had an opening for someone to inspect the mirrors.

I told them "That's a job I could really see myself doing."

Mirror Joke

A mirror was born to an extremely poor family. He went to school, worked hard, and eventually got a full scholarship to Harvard. He graduated with a PhD and started a company. The years went by and his company became hugely successful. Eventually, he decided it was time for him to retire. He had to ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I saw a stolen BMW today. I decided to call the police.

“Yes officer, I’ve just seen a stolen vehicle out here on the highway, westbound”

“With all due respect, civilian, there are hundreds, thousands of vehicles out there, it is incredibly difficult to spot a stolen vehicle if you don’t have the training for it. Did you see a smashed window or so...

A man walks into a bar and bets drinks that while blindfolded, he can identify any animal pelt and what it was shot with just by touch...

Some patrons agree to the bet and he sits down. A blindfold is placed over his eyes and he is handed the first pelt.

He runs his hand over it and promptly replies, "It's a rabbit, shot with a .22 caliber rifle.

He is correct and is brought another pelt.

Again, he runs his hand o...

Booty

Woman goes to a plastic surgeon and says I want a J-Lo booty, after many hours of surgery she takes the bandages off and looks in the mirror only to see a jiggly, green booty............

A man walks into a bar...

A man walks into a bar and sees a very small man playing the piano. The guy couldn’t be more than a foot tall he was that short. The man walks up to the bartender and says “woah, does this place have any other cool tricks?”

The bartender replies “sure, there’s a magic mirror in the bathroom.”...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy was recruited for the first settlement on another planet....

The Settlement Chief met him on the landing site.

"This place is going to take some getting used to. It's like a mirror version of Earth. The elements which are rare on Earth are the most abundant here while the common elements are extremely rare."

"So why are we here then," the guy a...

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