This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I installed a skylight in my apartment today...

You wouldn't believe how pissed off the people upstairs were.

I thought having an skylight would be a good idea

My upstairs neighbors disagree.

You need to invest in skylight stocks.

Business is through the roof.

Joan, who was rather well-proportioned, spent almost all of her vacation sunbathing on the roof of her hotel. She wore a bathing suit the first day, but on the second, she decided that no one could see her way up there, and she slipped out of it for an overall tan.

She'd hardly begun when she heard someone running up the stairs. She was lying on her stomach, so she just pulled a towel over her rear.

"Excuse me, miss," said the flustered assistant manager of the hotel, out of breath from running up the stairs. "The Hilton doesn't mind your sunbathing on ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Soviet Premier Brezhnev, as is his habit, looks out the window of his Kremlin office at the morning sun.

"Good morning, Comrade sun" he says. The sun answers, "Good morning, Comrade Premier."

About noon Brezhnev looks up through the skylight and says, "Good day, Comrade sun." The sun dutifully answers "Good day, Comrade Premier."

In the afternoon Brezhnev peers out his window at the set...

This joke was inspired by a IRL event

I went to the kitchen, and I looked up through the skylight windows. I then noticed a plastic Rite Aid bag that was stuck in a tree.

My dad saw me looking up, and he asked me, "What are you looking at?"

I said to him, "There is a Rite Aid bag in the tree."

He asked me, "Do you ...

An engineer dies.

He proceeds up to the pearly gates and approaches Saint Peter. Saint Peter checks his list, but does not see the engineer. The engineer says, "I have lived my entire life for good, there must be some sort of mistake!" But Saint Peter won't hear it, and sends him to hell.

When he gets to he...

I remember what I said the first time I saw my girlfriend undress...

Man, I hope this skylight holds.

My daughter came from school all upbeat and confident telling me how the teacher told them that "Sky's the limit" and they should be "reaching for the stars".

So I installed skylight above her bed and told her to look up the glass ceiling.

I'll never forget the first time I saw my girlfriend undress

I thought, "my god, will this skylight support my weight?"

There are things worse than death

A young, single, and very handsome test pilot is forced to eject from his jet. His parachute fails to open, and as he plummets to the ground he prays that somehow he will be saved.

He hears voice say, I will save you, but in return you must make the next woman you see happy for the rest of y...

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