Chuck Norris is a wimp...

If he were really as badass as they say he is, he would walk in here right now and start slamming my face into the keybdilfvbasjklkjcbnacnbzcjkbs; fsidfbaa3048fhsdk;ufb fba'aspfj4hn4

A little dwarf is sitting in a bar. He stares at his beer with a sad look in his eyes.

A strong guy appears, punches the dwarfs shoulder and drinks his beer. The dwarf starts crying.

The guy: "Come on, you wimp. A real man does not cry because of a beer."

The dwarf: "Listen. My wife left me today and my bank account was robbed. After that I lost my job. I didn't want to ...

You know, I thought about joining the Navy SEALs when I was younger.

Then I heard people were clubbing new ones and I wimped out.

Goose hunting

A man from the city goes goose hunting one weekend. He is a pretty bad hunter so he doesn‘t hit anything for a long time. On the second day he finally is able to hit one. Unfortunatly the goose drops on the property of a farmer. By the time the man gets there the farmer has already picked up the goo...

A guy is sitting at a bar staring at his drink when a huge biker grabs his drink and gulps it down.

"Well, whatcha' gonna do about it ?" says the Biker?" The man begins crying. "Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY you wimp."

The guy says. "Well this is the worst day of my life. I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the par...

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Three old guys are hanging out in the nursing home

They're old friends, and every day they sit together and shoot the breeze.

One day, Bob, the 70 year old, says "You know, I don't mind getting old. I can still play golf, flirt with the ladies - life's good! But you know what I miss? I miss peeing. Lord, I haven't had a good piss in years - I...

A man with a hunchback was walking trough the cemetery.

A ghost spooks him with a question.
- What is that on your back ? the ghost asks.
- Its a hunchback ! the man replies.
- Can i have it ? asks the ghost.
- Shure !!! and the trade is done.
Mindblown,the man goes to his wimp-leg friend and tell him the story.As soon as he finishes tell...

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Why do men die first?

Why do men die first? This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries, but, now we know. It requires a bit of explanation.
If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you're a male chauvinist.
If you stay home and do the housework, you're a pansy.
...

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The bitch

A man walks into a bar with a St. Bernard and asks for a martini. The dog requests a double martini.
The bartender says to the man "So you're a ventriloquist. Big deal. We don't serve dogs in here."

The man gets up to go to the men's room, and the dog again requests his drink.

The ...

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A skinhead is arrested for drug offenses and goes to prison

At first he's worried, as he's used to having lots of followers backing him up and isn't sure how he'll deal with the other inmates. He decides the best way to get ahead is to find prisoners of a similar mindset and join then.

He sees some skinny white dudes coming in from a back area. Figuri...

Three tough biker dudes...

...walk into a bar. They notice a skinny, bespectacled little guy sitting in the corner by himself, and decide to have some fun.

They order three beers, and one of the bikers says, "Charge these to that little runt over there in the corner." Then he calls over to the little guy, "Hey, Poind...

Two Devils

Two devils are having a conversation about themselves. Over time, it erupts into an argument.

Devil 1: You're a wimp!

Devil 2: Well if you think I'm a wimp, then darn you... Darn you to HECK!

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Two Redneck

Two rednecks, Jake and Bubba, were sitting in a bar one night watching
rasslin' on the tube. At the end of the match was an advertisement.
A loud, obnoxious character came on screaming about $10,000 dollars in
prize money for anyone who could defeat "The Killer".

Jake looked at Bubb...

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