UPJOKE
gutlessweaknamby-pambywishy-washysanctimoniousheartlessungratefulconceitedslimypompousloathsomeunintelligenthypocriticalmoronicignorant

What’s the difference between a starfish and Vladimir Putin?

One is brainless, spineless, and impossible to reason with.

The other one is a starfish.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Five surgeons were talking about the best patients.

First surgeon says, "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything on the inside is numbered."

Second surgeon says, "Nah - librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

Third surgeon responds, "Try electricians, ma...

What's the difference between a lawyer and a leach

One is a spineless bloodsucking parasite, the other is a literal worm.

If being spineless is a crime, sue me!

I think, I'll just plead guilty.

*On a serious note, I'll probably beg you to withdraw charges.*

They say Mitch McConnell is spineless. I disagree.

Snakes definitely have spines.

What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob and the other is a form of sea life.

I got your back

You spineless idiot

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Four surgeons are discussing their favorite patients to work on.

The first surgeon to speak says "librarians are my favorite; when you cut them open, everything inside is alphabetical filed."

The next surgeon replies "I prefer to work on accountants, because everything is in numerical order."

The third surgeon rebuttles "electricians are the best, w...

Why didn't the octopus fight the shark?

Because he was spineless

Three surgeons are sitting in a bar...

discussing which people are their favorite to operate on.

The first surgeon looks at the other two, and tells them that his favorite patients are librarians. The other two then ask him why.

"Well," he begins, "I like librarians, because their insides are always filed away in alphabeti...

I have no respect for invertebrates...

They are so spineless.

Three doctors

Three doctors are discussing which types of patients they prefer. Doctor Watson says, ''I prefer librarians. All their organs are alphabetized.'' Doctor Fitzpatrick says, ''I prefer mathematicians. All their organs are numbered.'' Doctor Ahn says, ''I prefer lawyers. They’re gutless, heartless, brai...

Three tough biker dudes...

...walk into a bar. They notice a skinny, bespectacled little guy sitting in the corner by himself, and decide to have some fun.

They order three beers, and one of the bikers says, "Charge these to that little runt over there in the corner." Then he calls over to the little guy, "Hey, Poind...

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