My parents didn't raise a quitter!

They raised a procrastinator.

They say quitters never win

So I’m gonna keep smoking

Today I conquered my fear of public speaking and gave a rousing, powerful speech about how nobody likes a quitter.

...aaaand they kicked me out of the 12-step program.

My gym recently went bankrupt

Who's the quitter now?

I was going to quit all my bad habits for the new year ...

... but then I remembered that nobody likes a quitter.

I was gonna go to rehab until I realized

Rehab is for quitters

Today I realised that eating ice cream isn't filling the emptiness I feel inside.

But I'm no quitter.

A limerick writ for a Twit

An executive reckless and bitter

Made a fool of himself via Twitter

*"Please stop!"* they entreated

But in answer he Tweeted

*"If I do they might call me a quitter"*

Three men are in a bar

Three men are in a bar, talking about the Red Sox. "I think they'll win it all this year," said the first man. "No way, the Yankees are too good", said the second man. "Well, I've converted to several versions of Christianity and still belong to all of them!" declared the third man, before walking o...

I was going to check into rehab

But then I realized I'm not a quitter

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why aren't Alpacas good in the porn idustry?

Because spitters are quitters

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