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Ornery Jokes

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A man inherited a farm and decided to remodel it...

He had a great business idea. Turn it into a country vacation destination. Tours for kids, horseback and wagon rides. Learn to milk cows the old fashioned way. Eat fresh farm raised food... Well, he encountered one problem.

There was an ornery old rooster that didn't like strangers hanging a...

Why are pediatricians so ornery?

Because they have little patients.

I recently bought a ornery horse named Mayo and have been trying to have a serious talk with him about his behavior but he never responds...

...After about the 4th or 5th try he looked me dead in the eye and said, "Mayo doesn't talk, Mayo neighs."

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Little Johnny

The third-grade teacher was teaching English and repeated for her class:



"Mary had a little lamb,
Whose fleece was white as snow,
And everywhere that Mary went,
The lamb was sure to go."



She explained this was an example of poetry, but could be changed...

What did the Alabama Alligator say to the teacher when asked why people were so mean?

Momma says Alabamans are ornery because they have all them toothbrushes and no teeth

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The hunting license

A hunter went hunting one day in West Virginia and bagged three ducks.

He put them in the bed of his pickup truck and was about to drive home where he was confronted by an ornery game warden who didn't like hunters.

The game warden ordered to the hunter to show his hunting license, a...

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One day, little Susie was sitting in Sunday School

Susie was a good kid who liked to pay attention in here sunday school bible classes. The only problem was the she sat in front of the class delinquent, Joe. While the teacher was teaching, she decided to ask the class a question to make sure all the kids were paying attention.


"So class, ...

Chris the tractor salesman

Ol' farmer John had just walked into the local watering hole, when who should he see, but his old friend Chris the tractor salesman sitting up at the bar. Chris looked so down and dejected, that John just had to go up and say something to him.

"Say, Chris, how ya doing? How's the tract...

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Shut Up

A young bluebird was flying from tree to tree in the brisk autumn air when he heard his parents call. Upon arriving back to the nest they tell the young avian to prepare for the trip south.

The little bluebird stubbornly inquires why, to which papa bluebird replies with details of heavy and c...

A certain zoo had acquired a very rare species of gorilla..

With in a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very ornery, and difficult to handle. Upon examination, the zoo veterinarian determined the problem: she was in heat. What to do? There was no male of this species available.

While reflecting on their problem, the zoo administrators noticed...

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So a woman wants to buy a parrot for her husband

She goes to the store and asks the manager, who replies, " I have two parrots, one repeats everything you say, and the other keeps all your secrets."

She asks to see the secret-keeping Parrot, and the manager obliges. He brings it out and she asks it,"How do I look?"
The surly parrot then...

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The bar challenge

So, a guy walks into a bar sits down and orders a beer. When the bartender sets his mug on the bar he can’t help but notice a large glass jar at the far end of the bar and it’s about half full of $100 bills. Taped to the side of the jar is a hand written piece of notebook paper that says “bar chall...

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