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Cheater Jokes

My girlfriend keeps accusing me of being a cheater

She's starting to sound like my wife

What do cheaters do after they die?

They lie still

Just told my friend his gf is a cheater

I sent him a text saying the y in “your girlfriend” is silent

My husband is a cheater, he beats me, and whenever I touch his property, he says, "I'm going to make you pay."

I don't want to play monopoly with him anymore.

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A murderer a rapist and a cheater walk in a bar.

The bartender says, guys I told you a million times gillette stadium is next door.

What do you call two cheaters dating?

An open relationship.

A liar, a murderer, and a cheater walk into a bar.

The New England Patriots must be in town.

How many cheaters does it take to change a lightbulb?

You can't change the lightbulb, once a lightbulb always a lightbulb.

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Afterlife for IRS Cheaters

Tony and his friend John die in a car accident and go to judgment. God tells Tony that because he cheated on his income taxes, the only way he can enter Heaven is to sleep with a stupid, ugly woman for the next five years.

A few days later, as Tony's walking in the park with his stupid, hideo...

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Just made this up!

My wife works as a rep for a breakfast food company. Last week she went away to a work weekend convention. I could tell something was different when she came home so I checked her phone when she showered.

I found photos of her having sex with the mascots for Coco Pops, Lucky Charms and Frost...

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A student is blatantly cheating in an exam

The invigilator is watching in a mixture of disbelief and amusement as the student peeks at a crib sheet and looks at his neighbours papers.

At the end of the exam the students line up to hand their papers in. When the cheater gets to the front of the line the invigilator says "Uh-uh, no way....

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A women is cheating on her husband we she hears him returning. "Quick hide!"

The man desperately darted around the room looking for somewhere to hide. Before he could find a good hiding space it was too late, the husband was already making his way up the staircase. Losing all hope the man hid in the bathroom. As soon as the husband arrived in the room he told his wife he goi...

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I always use incognito mode when looking at porn and video game walkthroughs.

I don't want my wife to think I'm a cheater.

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A joke from Berlusconi

It's 10 pm and a rich businessman, Mr. Bestetti, is working at his home office when his wife enters the room shouting: "I have talked with our priest, he told me everything! You cheat on me by going to the strip club! I am going to go to the lawyer and get a divorce, and you'll give me half of every...

Rio is full of liars, cheaters, thieves, and drug abusers.

And that's just the athletes.

A young jock enters a pharmacy to buy condoms

Knowing the pharmacists is an old-fashioned gentleman and noticing a slight frown on his face, the young man decides to have some fun at his expenses by asking for another pack, remarking "you know, my girlfriend truly sounded thirsty last time I talked to her... Better be sure we don't run out!"...

A father meets his son’s teacher.

« Sir, I’m afraid your son is a cheater », says the teacher.

« What? No ! What makes you say that? » responds the father

« Well, in the last math test, he had the same answers as his neighbour. »

« Yeah, that’s a math test, duh. There’s only one good answer, right? »

« In...

A country wife came home just in time to find her husband in bed with another woman

A country wife came home just in time to find her husband in bed with another woman. With superhuman strength, borne of fury, and cutting firewood, lifting sacks of feed, and bales of hay, she dragged him down the stairs, out the back door, and into the barn. She put his manhood in a vice, secured i...

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(Long) God was in the gate's heaven listening how people died, in order to let them in

(I'm really sorry for the bad grammar... I'm not native - feel free to correct the text, so i can edit it)

So the first guy arrives in gate's heaven:


God: So... We need to know how you've died, so we can let you in.

Guy: Ok. You won't believe in that... Me and my wife live...

A Husband And Wife Go Golfing

A husband and wife who are avid golfers have been happily married for 30 years, and on the day of their 30th anniversary they enjoy a wonderful day together.
They have a delicious breakfast in bed, then proceed to one of their favorite golf courses.
They play through to the 9th hole, both hav...

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Heaven is a big place

Three guys arrive at the pearly gates together having all perished in different circumstances. Seeing the lineup they all wonder what separates them from access into the gates of heaven. As time goes by the line disappears and the three men find themselves next up. Peter is standing with a hand on t...

On March 27th, our math teacher burst into class and threatened to cancel Spring Break unless the one who's cheated on all their tests reveals themselves before next month

How are we supposed to catch a cheater in eight days?!

Statistics say that 1/3 of people cheat in their relationships.

So, who's the cheater? My wife or my girlfriend?

Golfer's Dilemma

You are playing in a golf tournament and to your astonishment you are actually winning as you reach the 18th hole. With a one stroke lead over your final opponent, who also happens to be playing the final hole with you, you step up to the tee and hit a perfect 300 yard shot dead center fairway. Your...

Somebody keyed my car..

They wrote "Cheater" and "pig" everywhere. I asked my girlfriend if she did it, and she said no. I don't know why anyone would write such a thing. I'll ask my wife when I get home tonight.

A man calles his home line from his office

The maid picks up

Maid: "Hello, Sir, how can I help you?"

Guy: "Can you please give the phone to your madam?"

Maid:"Oh no sir, Madam is making love with Sir"

The man is confused at this point

Guy: "But the owner of the house is me. Does that mean she is cheating o...

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Talking Dog

A woman walks into the store and sees a flyer.

"Talking Dog Looking for a New Home. $10"

The woman thinks "this is interesting, I should go check it out."

So she goes to the address listed and asks to see the dog. The owner brings her to the back yard where a black Lab is sittin...

You can never trust the cat family.....

The head of the family is always a lion, and his cousin is a cheetah.


(Lying and cheater, for those whom need this explained).

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Blonde Race

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead were all lifeguards. Each thought they were better swimmers than the others. So they decided to have a race down across the town lake. To make the race fair it was decided that everyone was to use the breaststroke.
The lake was huge so it took the redhead, obv...

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