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Tithe Jokes

A priest, a pastor, and a rabbi are deciding what portion of the tithe they will get for their salaries.

The pastor says, “I have an idea” and takes off his belt and lays it on the ground. He then says, “Okay. So we throw the tithe up in the air and whatever lands inside this belt is our salary.”
The Priest says, “Nonsense. When we throw the tithe up in the air, whatever lands outside the belt wi...

In Las Vegas people can tithe by dropping casino chips into the offertory.

And at the end of each weekend, there is a Brother that goes around to all the casinos to cash them out and make a deposit.

He's the Chip Monk.

Two men crash a plane on a deserted island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

They both survive the crash. Then just after their terrible ordeal one of the men walks all over the entire island and comes to the conclusion that there is no food or fresh water. He goes back to where his friend is to explain their predicament.

"I've searched this entire island and haven't...

Tithe Joke

Three religious leaders of the community, a priest, a rabbi, and an evangelical preacher are sitting around talking about how they run their finances.

The priest says, "At the end of the week, I make a line on the floor. Then I take all of the money out of the donation box, throw it in the ai...

During a mass, the pastor was teaching his congregation what a tithe was.

'Now, if you have a million dollars,' he asked the crowd, 'how many of you will give out one-tenth to the church?'

All but one raised their hands. Bemused, the pastor walked down towards the one who didn't.

'Why not, my child?' he asked, 'Isn't there nothing more joyous than giving bac...

A golfer is getting ready to tee-off on the first hole...

...when a second golfer approaches and asks if he can join him. The first says that he usually plays alone but agrees to let the second guy join him.


Both are even after the first couple of holes. The second guy says, "Say, we're about evenly matched, how about we play for five bucks a ...

What’s a syntax?

A tithe.

Preacher Bob liked to coordinate his message with the choir every Sunday...

They met one week and Preacher Bob said, "Brothers and sisters, I'll be preaching this Sunday on the topic of steadfastness in our service to God. What hymn should we sing?"

Miss Bertha piped up, "I Shall Not Be Moved!"

They met the next week and Preacher Bob said, "Brothers and sister...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The new priest decides to automatise his church

He hires a programmer to make as many systems as possible, passing most of the grunt work to computers. Donations can be done through PayPal, and credit cards are accepted for paying the tithe. Alexa buys the flowers and candles on schedule while also controlling the lights and the doors. Finally, t...

A Priest, a Rabbi and a Minister are on a train.

They chat for a bit when the priest suggests they all share their gravest confessions. He offers to go first.
"Sometimes, after communion service, I'll drink more of the wine than I should and flirt with the nuns."

The Minister replies, "mine's far worse. Sometimes, after taking collec...

A Paladin goes into a mechanic's shop...

A paladin goes in to a mechanic's shop, and says "Hey, you've got to help me. Normally, I'm a perfect, upstanding paladin. I help old ladies cross the street, I tithe, I slay evil demons. But when I get in my car, I only have the urge to cause property damage and run people over. What's going on?"...

A moral businessman always pays his tithe

A young man becomes a successful businessman very early on in life. Being a faithful member of the church he always pays his tithe for years and years.

He later falls upon hard times and so he talks to his banker. His banker lets him know that things are worse than the man had realized, he co...

Two Scotsmen are sitting on a hill.

They are drinking some beer and reminiscing about their youth.

"Macalister, look at our town, I've built a third of those building, so many would be homeless without my work, but do they call me Shamus the builder?"

"No Shamus they don't." Replied his friend.

So they sit on the...

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