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Time Keeping Jokes

Why did Sweeney Todd’s wife have such a hard time keeping her restaurant staffed?

Employee turnover.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Harry Potter has way too many characters...

Even J.K. Rowling has a hard time keeping all the characters straight.

Why did the Navy captain have a hard time keeping up his insults of the island people?

He had a wrecked isle diss function.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man drives by a police camera and it flashes...

A man drives by a police camera and it flashes. Relatively sure that he was not speeding, he goes around and drives by the camera again, this time keeping an eye on his speed and going 10 mph under the limit and it still flashes.

Surprised, he goes around and drives by a 3rd time, this time g...

Dinner at Grandma's

A while ago, I went to my grandma's house for dinner. As I was there, she was preparing a rather odd dish. She was taking green onions and covering them with thinly sliced beef. Unfortunately, she was having a hard time keeping the beef and the onions together, so she tied them with a ribbon she ...

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