This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My dating profile says " I'm 50 years old,but I have the body of a swimmer, the arms of a weight-lifter and the dick of a teenager."

The women that come over aren't too pleased when I open the freezer and show my collection.

"An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake...

"An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake...

He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.

After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent....

I’m a wait lifter.

Like... I’m gonna work out eventually. I’m just not ready yet.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet

The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet.


The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the mo...

Why was the weight lifter upset after lifting a case of Coke?

It was just soda pressing.

What did the weight lifter say after he bought the wrong protein powder?

No whey.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

After ordering a milkshake, a man had to leave his seat in the restaurant to use the rest room.

Since he didn't want anyone to take his shake, he took a paper napkin, wrote on it, "The world's strongest weight lifter," and left it under his glass.

When he returned from making his pit stop, the glass was empty. Under it was a new napkin with a note that said

"Thanks for the treat...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do weight lifter's do in the shower?

Clean and Jerk

What was the Olympic lifter missing from his bar ?

Weight for it...

Four engineers in a car...

Four engineers are driving to a conference when the car sputters and dies as they pull off to the shoulder. After a moment of silent contemplation, the electrical engineer says; "you know, I bet the coil's bad. We need to replace the core." The chemical engineer says; "you're nuts, it's obviously th...

A blind cowboy walks in to a bar

A blind cowboy walks in to a bar, and says to the bartender do you want to hear a blonde joke? The bartender says before you say your joke, i would like to inform you that the women siting next to you is a black belt in taekwondo, and is blonde. The man next to you is a power lifter, and is blonde. ...

Why are bodybuilders great pallbearers?

They're fantastic dead lifters

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.