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So a guy and a girl are on a date, when they walk past a pond with swans in it.

The girl turns to the guy and says β€œI can talk to animals.” The guy looks at the girl and says β€œI gotta see this!” So the girl turns to the swans and says,

β€œHEY SWANS, FUCK YOU!”

In chef school, I was given an in depth lesson on cooking young swans.

In no time at all my preparation was so good, it became my signet-ure dish.

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The Twelve Thank-You Notes of Christmas

Dearest John:

I went to the door today and the postman delivered a partridge in a pear tree. What a delightful gift. I couldn't have been more surprised.

With dearest love and affection, Agnes

December 15th

Dearest John:

Today the postman brought your very sweet gi...

The Twelve Thank You Notes Of Christmas

Dec 25

My dearest darling Edward,

What a wonderful surprise has just greeted me! That sweet partridge, in that lovely little pear tree; what an enchanting, romantic, poetic present! Bless you, and thank you.

Your deeply loving,

Emily

Dec 26

Beloved Edward,...

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A Man is on a date with a woman

and they pass by a pond that has swans in it. The woman tells the man that she can speak to animals. The man thinks to himself, wow I can't believe it. He tells her,
"Prove it."
So, she turns to the swan that is resting by the shore of the pond and yells,"Hey swan, fuck you!"

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