I went to a pet store to buy a bird

The employee asked me, “Are you sure you want a bird? It’s a big responsibility”.

“Yes I’m quite sure” I responded.

The employee sighed and said, “Alright, but if you change your mind, you’ll have to live with that egret for the rest of your life”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Do you have any to speak of?

So, there was once a man named Frank who lived in South Florida, and his life was virtually ideal. He had a beautiful wife and two kids, lived in a very nice home on the intracoastal waterway, and had a very successful yacht sales business. However, he had one problem that had plagued him his whole ...

I went looking for waterbirds the other day.

No egrets.

I used to be a a heron addict, but after 6 weeks of rehab

I've got no egrets

I went birdwatching the other day, but didn't see anything.

Still, no egrets.

People who eat endangered birds...

...will die lonely and full of egret.

An ornithologist reminisces about his past and says,

"I have many egrets."

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Note: this was an old tweet of mine I changed into my first original joke!

My father loved the photos and paintings of John Audubon

He collected as many photos and paintings of all the different birds around the world.

As he lay on his deathbed facing the "wall of wading birds" I asked him if he would have done anything different.

His eyes panned across the wall and he frowned. With his last words he said. ...

What did the Heron get tattooed on his chest?

No Egrets.

I was stranded in the swamp for days with no food

I had no choice but to hunt down large white birds and eat them. Through the whole ordeal, I found myself filled with egret.

My girlfriend asked if I was sad that I had to give up my bird collection...

I told her I have no egrets.

My friend died from eating too much waterfowl

I thought he had lived a good, happy life

He told me that he was full of Egrets

Last night, I had dinner at one of those illicit restaurants where you can dine on endangered species.

I left there full of egret.

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