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Studying Jokes

Don't drink water while studying...

Why?

Because chemistry says that concentration decreases while adding water.

Note: My first attempt. Thanks.

A white scientist is studying a tribe in Africa

A white scientist is studying an African tribe.

One day, the tribe leaders wife has a white son.

The tribe leader approaches the scientist soon after.

"Well, we both know what happened here. No one else could have done it. You slept with my wife, I have to kill you." The tribe l...

An Arab student studying in Germany wrote a letter to his dad

Dear Dad,

Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here, but Dad, I am a bit ashamed to arrive at my college with my pure-gold Ferrari 599GTB when all my teachers and many fellow students travel by train.

Your son, Nasser.

The next day, Nasser gets a reply to hi...

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Future historians will have difficulties studying about our pornstars

because we delete them from our history.

You shouldn't drink water while studying.

It decreases concentration.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"This term," said the English teacher, "we will be studying 'The Canterbury Tales' "

"But," she added, "to anticipate a question I get every year -- this will not include *The Nun's Priest's Tale*"

"Why not?" asked one of the pupils. The teacher's features shaped themselves into an expression of sour disapproval.

"Because," she answered, "*The Nun's Priest's Tale* is l...

My son was spending too much time playing computer games, so I said, "Son, when Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace."

He considered this for a moment and replied: “When Abe Lincoln was your age he was The President of the United States.”

Scientists have been studying the effect of cannabis on sea birds…

They’ve left no tern unstoned…

A few years ago I was studying abroad...

...in Egypt. I was attending a beautiful university in the capital city, having a wonderful time.

One day I had a pretty important test to take, and I stayed up way too late cramming for it. I slept terribly and woke up with a crick in my neck and pain all throughout my back and shoulders. <...

When Dwayne Johnson is studying his family history...

Is it called genealogy or geology?

After 5 long years of studying, a student comes rushing into Einstein's office shouting...

"Sir, Sir, I finally understand your theory of Special Relativity!"

Einstein rolls his eyes, "It's about time"

Studying History makes you numb

but studying Mathematics makes you number.

A boy is studying for his geography quiz

His mom asks him:

"What is the capital of Germany?"

"Berlin", says the boy.

"What is the capital of France?"

"Berlin."

"What is the capital of Russia?"

"Berlin."

"You're so smart, Adolf, I know you'll do great on your quiz."

Studying at Oxford.

I was reading the dictionary in bed last night, but I didn't finish it.

I got up to 'P'.

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I'm a scientist studying the effects of beastiality between humans and dogs.

If you want to speak with me I'll be in my lab.

Scientists studying frogs

Two scientists are studying how far frogs can jump. Their first step was to teach a frog to jump on command. This completed, they yelled jump, and the frog jumped 8 meters. Considering what effect each leg had, they then amputated one leg and yelled jump again. The frog jumped 6 meters. After notin...

Einstein spent 10 years studying gravity.

It must have weighed heavily on him.

I've been studying Zeno's paradoxes for the last two years...

And I am already half way there.

Nothing is better than studying

That's why i do nothing.

What do you call it when you are studying bacteria and someone steals your sample?

Cultural appropriation.

How is working the fry station at McDonald's like studying Plato and Aristotle?

You really learn to appreciate ancient grease.

I love studying blood-sucking parasites…

Really get into the nitty gritty of things and find out what makes them tick.

2 college friends skip studying for Chemistry final to party

Two guys were taking Chemistry at the University of Mississippi. They did pretty well on all of the quizzes and the midterms and labs, such that going into the final they had a solid "A". These two friends were so confident going into the final that the weekend before finals week (even though the ...

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What do you call the science dedicated to studying Uranus?

Asstronomy

My sister-in-law said her friend was studying abroad...

My brother quickly replied, "what's her name?"

NYU has a new branch for studying comedy in the style of 3 Stooges

It’s called NYUK NYUK NYUK

We should all stop studying to prevent global warming

Because everytime someone graduates, the world increases by a degree.

An American student was studying Russian government

An American student was studying Russian government.

Hoping to understand another country’s government in familiar terms, he asked his teacher, “Is the Kremlin more like the White House, the Capitol, the Pentagon, or the Supreme Court?”

The teacher replied, “Yes.”

After many years of studying at a university, I’ve finally become a PhD…

or Pizza Hut Deliveryman as people call it.

Scientists were studying rams

They had three rams in their lab. Each ram had a leather collar, and attached to each collar was a tag identifying them as A, B and C.

One of the researchers brought a large gourd from the supply closet and placed it on the head of Ram A. Nothing happened. After five minutes he removed the g...

Studying the nature of Mars

A NASA scientist walks into a bar and orders a beer. "How's work going?" the bartender asks. "It's frustrating. We've been studying the planet Mars and trying to figure out how it went from having a warm and wet habitat to a cold and dry one," the scientist says. "So far, we don't have an answ...

A scientist was studying life extending properties through diet...

And realized he had the perfect formula for eternal life. He developed a special food formula which he fed to seagulls. Then he would feed their eggs to a pair of dolphins.

After 10 years on a diet of fortified seagull eggs, the dolphins hadn't aged a day. But there was one problem. Th...

The kids at middle school are studying WWII...

... and little Timmys grandpa, who was a fighter pilot in the war, is invited to class to tell about his experiences. He reminisces:

"Now, the worst situation I was ever in, was probably when I encountered a German air wing all by myself. I had one Fokker above me, one Fokker behind me and on...

Because of all the studying, I spend an unhealthy amount of time sitting.

I think I am understanding.

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An American anthropologist is studying cultures throughout Western Africa.

He discovers an isolated civilization in the West African Jungle. It’s a small village with wooden houses and plenty of domesticated animals. The anthropologist is impressed by the organization of the village and becomes eager to learn more about the culture of it’s inhabitants.

He approa...

They say reading is hot. So I started studying philosophy.

Now all of my relationships are platonic.

A guy was studying a document.

His wife says, what are you looking at that for?

Nothing he replies.

Well you been looking at our marriage certificate for ages.

He said, I am looking for the expiry date.

Studying math helps extend your life expectancy

80 minutes in math class feel like 3 hours long

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What's it called when someone is studying buttholes?

Analyzing.

An old man sat studying on a bench near the Kremlin

A KGB agent walking by looked at him suspiciously
but passed by
But an hour and 2 more times passing later the agent asked "Why are u sitting here so long and what are u doing?
Old man replied "I am an old man and Don't expect to live much longer. I want to go to heaven and as u know they s...

Studying...

Notice how they fit dying at the end of the word.

I'm currently studying the Ancient Greeks.

I'm sitting in an elderly home at Athens.

I’ve been studying abroad for a few months now

I think I’m gonna finally ask her out

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Miss Jorgensen's 6th grade class was studying WW2...

So she invites Ollie Svensen, the only surviving veteran in their area to talk to them. He had been a fighter pilot, and described his fist battle as having "fuckers above shootin' me, fuckers below shootin' at me, fuckers everwhere shootin!"

As the class giggled, the teacher said, "Mr. Svens...

I always listen to mumble rap when I’m studying.

It’s a constant reminder on why it is important to get educated.

My daughter didn't tell me she was studying a math degree

Must have been discreet math

I tried studying Anesthesiology....

.... But I wasnt feeling it.

A dermatologist was studying new remedies for itching, but his lab burnt down...

Now he has to start from scratch.

A girl was studying French, and doing very well at it.

One day, she asked her teacher “Do you know anything about Spanish? For I know everything there is to know about French, and I need a new language.”

The teacher responded “What a sudden change! And why would you possibly ask me, your French teacher? This was completely unexpected!”

“No...

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Boy: Grandpa, what are you studying .. ???

Grandpa: History, Son.

Boy: Grandpa, why are you lying ? ... This seems to be a book on sex

Grandpa: Son, for me, this is history now.

I got distracted while studying Reading a book about abdominal pain in the library last night

Someone ripped out the appendix

A teenage boy had just passed his driving test ...

... and asked his father as to when they could discuss his use of the car.

His father said he'd make a deal with his son, "You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little and get your hair cut. Then we'll talk about the car" The boy thought about that for a moment,...

A young Saudi prince studying abroad...

A young Saudi prince studying abroad receives a call from his father asking him if everything is alright.
He tells his dad that he is feeling ashamed that everyday he goes to college in his brand new Lamborghini while all the other students take the train.
His father replies: "I understand y...

Did you hear about the doctor who was studying ways of making people laugh?

He was known for his test tickles.

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I know of a zoophile scientist who is studying human-dog sexual relationships.

He's always in his lab

I'm studying abroad.

I learn so much from her.

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I was studying about human digestion, assimilation and it's product.

It's all shit

A man spends his days studying archeology at university, and his nights dreaming of someday finding a girlfriend.

No matter how hard he tried, he could never master the techniques of dating.

Eventually, his professors had to fail him.

If a biologist studies biology and a nutritionist studies nutrition

Trump must be an expert at studying races.

Why is studying statistics hard to do in Afghanistan?

because of the tally-ban

A man was studying to be a filmmaker...

Since he was big live music fan, he started hitting up his favorite local bands and offering to do behind-the-scenes documentary sessions as promotional materials. He got a few bites and after shooting a few small acts, his work really took off, developing a reputation for the way he seemed to disap...

Studying for finals is like playing Tetris

just when you seem to get the facts to fit together, all that you thought you learned disappears.

I'm currently studying snails and slugs.

It's safe to say I'm a slow learner.

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After studying sexual energy, I decided to try semen retention.

After just one week, my wife had to empty the fridge.

Why is studying so important in Singapore?

It’s your get out of jail free card

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