I heard that you should always look into a mirror before making a big decision

It helps you reflect.

We really should look into colonizing Mars and other planets or moons

If you look at the studies, 100% of deaths occur here on earth.

An old man decides to look into a Nudist Colony

He is invited to try the one week trial period so he does.

On his first day he took off his clothes and started to wander around the area. A gorgeous petite blonde walks by, and the man immediately gets an erection.

The woman notices his erection, walks over to him and asks, "did you ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

First thing men look into a women is her heart

That her breasts are in the way is not our fault.

With all this free time, I may finally look into scientology...

...see what all the hubbard is about

Do you want me to look into your eyes when you put it in my mouth?

**Officer:** Ma'am, please... just blow into the breathalyzer.

I should look into selling mirrors for a living

That's a job I can see myself doing.

When I look into my daughter's eyes, I realize what's truly important in life.

Birth control.

TIL: humans and bonobos are the only creatures that look into their partner's eyes during intercourse.

I never do though.. Except for that one time when I was going at it, and suddenly she entered the room.

The other day I tell my wife, "when I look into the mirror I only see an old fat man, I need you to make me feel better about myself."

She says "you have perfect eyesight." - Norm MacDonald

Long ago, my mentor told me to look into self improvement. He used to mumble a bit, though.

Now I don't have the discipline to actually build one, but I know everything about constructing shelves.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[Long] A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married 10 times?"
"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative. He kept...

If you don’t know what a glory hole is…

Don’t look into it.

A guy gets to the doctor, farting over and over...

- Hi doc, I don't know what's wrong, but I can't stop farting. Luckily it has no smell!
The doctor looks at him, write down a prescription and say:
- Take this for a week and come back.
So the guy does. And returns still farting to the doctor:
- I took the pills, but I still can't stop f...

Jack, a renown atheist, dies and to his utter surprise ends up in hell where he's greeted by Satan himself. Completely shocked he talks to the devil and says: "Welp, I've been wrong all my life and I guess I'm now to pay the price for my lack of faith". Satan laughs and replies: Awh it's not so bad.

He then proceeds to escort Jack through a beautiful lush green plain with flowers, scattered here and there there's a bunch of houses where other "damned" live. As they pass through each house the inhabitants recognize Satan and invite them inside for a drink and a chat, a request that's always gran...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a doctor's office...

and says: "Doctor, I get an erection every time I look into a mirror."

The doctor takes a good looks at the man and responds:
"That's no wonder, Sir. You look like a proper cunt to me."

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