Statisticians give low paid workers an expected life of 68.7 years

That's mean

Three statisticians walk into a bar.

The bartender asks the first one, “Would you like a beer?”

He says no.

The bartender asks the second one, “Would you like a beer?”

He says no.

The bartender asks the third one, “Would you like a beer?”

He says, “Probably not.”

I'm always impressed when statisticians talk about averages.

It's so meaningful.

Bell curves mean one thing to statisticians

And something completely different to Gaston

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Three Statisticians go deer hunting and come across a deer.

The first one pulls out his bow, and has a shot at the deer. The shot hit a tree one metre left of the deer. The second one has his shot, only he hits a tree one metre right of the deer.

The third one yells:
“We got him, we got him!”

What do you call a group of statisticians?

A precision.

Why do statisticians always go back to being cruel ?

Why do statisticians always go back to being cruel ?

Answer: reversion to the mean

At the statisticians’ conference

”Look at that pervert. He doesn’t settle for just standard deviation.”

Have you heard the latest joke about statisticians?


What do statisticians who make mistakes put on their bread?

Margarine of error.

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Do you know how most statisticians die?

They get broken down by age and sex.

Why are Statisticians all pragmatists?

Because they know the n's always justify the means

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A recent finding by statisticians.

The average human has one breast and one testicle.

I hate it when statisticians try explaining things to me.

95% of the time I don't know what they mean.

Two statisticians were traveling in an airplane from LA to New York.

About an hour into the flight, the pilot announced that they had lost an engine, but don’t worry, there are three left. However, instead of 5 hours it would take 7 hours to get to New York.

A little later, he announced that a second engine failed, and they still had two left, but it would tak...

Two statisticians are out hunting...

Two statisticians are out hunting when one of them sees a duck. The first takes aim and shoots, but the bullet goes sailing pass 6in too high. The second statistician also takes aim and shoots, but this time the bullet goes sailing past 6in too low. The two statisticians then give one another high f...

How do statisticians cook their meat?

Median rare.

What's the statisticians favorite sauce?


What catch phrase do white girls and statisticians share in common?

"That's totally random"

Two statisticians walk into a bar...

What are the chances of that?

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