UPJOKE
forecastinghypothesisforecastprophecyprognosisprojectionpredicthoroscopeestimationmeteorologydivinationprognosticationprobabilityestimateevent

an Amazon native can predict the weather

Engineers were preparing to build a highway in the middle of the Amazon forest when a native rocked up and told them to seek shelter because there would be heavy rain in 2 hours. The engineers looked up at the clear sky, didn't heed the man's prediction and continued with their work. In exactly 2 ho...
upvote downvote report

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Psychic Prediction Convention 2018

[CLOSED] Due to unforeseen circumstances.

Living beside a groundhog means you get one prediction every morning.

Yesterday I learned that my tomatoes will be ripe in 6 weeks.

Today I learned that my dementia is onset and early.
upvote downvote report

Cars 3 Prediction.

Mcqueen's driving in the woods. There's no one around and his phone is dead. Out of the corner of his eye, he spots him: Shia LaBus.
upvote downvote report

Prediction: There will be a minor Baby Boom in 9 months, and then one day in 2033 we will witness the rise of

The Quaranteens
upvote downvote report

Where do meteorologists save their wheather predictions?

In the cloud.
upvote downvote report

I never make predictions.

I never have and I never will.
upvote downvote report

Predictions of the relationship fallout of quarantine:

In one month divorce rates will spike.
In 9 months birth rates will spike.
In 13 years and nine months we will have quaranteens.
upvote downvote report

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I made a prediction my wife would not want to have sex tonight. When I got home . . .

She made a pre-dick-shun.

My prediction for the fight.

I predict Mayweather with a massive right hook and an uppercut to finish it. Then once he's done practicing on his girlfriend, he will lose on points to Manny.
upvote downvote report

I was told, if I voted for Hillary, they predicted Obamacare would continue and we'd go to war with Syria...

I did, and the predictions came true!
upvote downvote report

MacBeth meets the three witches on the marsh.

''Hail MacBeth. For a fee we will predict your future.''

-''Really? How much?''

''10 Pence per predicted year.''

''I want a prediction for my *whole* life.''

''That'll be 5 pence.''

- Herman Finkers
upvote downvote report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.

Do Not Sell My Personal Information