Engineers were preparing to build a highway in the middle of the Amazon forest when a native rocked up and told them to seek shelter because there would be heavy rain in 2 hours. The engineers looked up at the clear sky, didn't heed the man's prediction and continued with their work. In exactly 2 ho...
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Psychic Prediction Convention 2018
[CLOSED] Due to unforeseen circumstances.
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Living beside a groundhog means you get one prediction every morning.
Yesterday I learned that my tomatoes will be ripe in 6 weeks.
Today I learned that my dementia is onset and early.
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Cars 3 Prediction.
Mcqueen's driving in the woods. There's no one around and his phone is dead. Out of the corner of his eye, he spots him: Shia LaBus.
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Prediction: There will be a minor Baby Boom in 9 months, and then one day in 2033 we will witness the rise of
The Quaranteens
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Where do meteorologists save their wheather predictions?
In the cloud.
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I never make predictions.
I never have and I never will.
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Predictions of the relationship fallout of quarantine:
In one month divorce rates will spike. In 9 months birth rates will spike. In 13 years and nine months we will have quaranteens.
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I made a prediction my wife would not want to have sex tonight. When I got home . . .
She made a pre-dick-shun.
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My prediction for the fight.
I predict Mayweather with a massive right hook and an uppercut to finish it. Then once he's done practicing on his girlfriend, he will lose on points to Manny.
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I was told, if I voted for Hillary, they predicted Obamacare would continue and we'd go to war with Syria...
I did, and the predictions came true!
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MacBeth meets the three witches on the marsh.
''Hail MacBeth. For a fee we will predict your future.''
-''Really? How much?''
''10 Pence per predicted year.''
''I want a prediction for my *whole* life.''
''That'll be 5 pence.''
- Herman Finkers
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