UPJOKE
languagemonologuewordsaddresssoliloquyvocabularylecturespeakingconversationtalksermonspeechmakingdiscourseoratoryutterance

Speeches Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I don't understand why Obama has to give his speeches behind bullet proof glass.

I mean, I know he's black and all, but I doubt he'll shoot anyone.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The person who proofread Hitler's speeches....

Would he technically be a grammar nazi?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three men enter a bar in the USSR. One says, "Why did Stalin only write in lowercase?" The other one says, "Because he was afraid of capitalism."

The whole bar died laughing

Political speeches are like steer horns: a point here, a point there,

and a lot of bull in between.

Why don't birds prepare for speeches?

They like to wing it.

Political speeches

Once, a politician, 3 doctors and 3 engineers decided to climb Mt.Everest.

They arrive there and start climbing. Halfway into the climbing, the rope starts to break. The engineers, with their quick physics skills tell everyone "One of us has to jump or else we all die!". Nobody wanted to jum...

People who continue to copy my speeches shall suffer...

Aaron: In conclusion, people who continue to copy my speeches shall suffer, ...

Mark: In conclusion, people who continue to copy my speeches shall suffer.

Aaron: ...mark my words.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Englishman ,a Scotsman and an Irishman are all going to give speeches to the Deaf Society and are keen to make an impression on their audience…

The Englishman goes first and to the surprise of his colleagues starts by rubbing first his chest and then his groin.

When he finishes, the Scotsman and Irishman ask him what he was doing.

"Well…" he explained, "By rubbing my chest, I indicated breasts and thus Ladies and by rubbing m...

Donald Trump's speeches can travel faster than the speed of light

Cuz they contain no information

So i searched "Slurred Speeches" on WebMD...

...and it diagnosed me with mumble rap.

Have you heard of the leader of the bovine communist movement?

Cow Zedong, better known as Chairman Cow.

Great guy.

Had the most mooving speeches.

As a volunteer, I taught a seminar on how to write persuasive speeches at my local prison.

I titled the course: "Prose and Cons".

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.