UPJOKE
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Spawn Jokes

Albert Einstein walks into a bar

He sits down and the bartender asks what he wants. He says "2 beers, one for me and one for the stool next to me".



The bartender pours 2 beers and asks, "are you waiting for someone?"


Albert says "No, but there is a chance that quantum fluctuations could align themselves ...

Washington state salmon fisheries are suing campers who have been walking in shallow waters where salmon traditionally spawn

The case is Roe vs. Wade.

Whats the first thing Michael Jackson does when he spawns in on Minecraft?

He punches a trhee-hee

Way back in the early days of RuneScape, there was a law rune spawn right beside the nature altar.

Law runes were hard to come by in those days, so lots of bots hung around the altar to scoop up the runes before anyone else could.

Eventually it got so bad that Jagex removed the laws of nature.

The ghost busters enterd the hospital to see their friend who has been diagnosed with cancer

When they walk in they’re stopped by a doctor who says
-Sorry no spawn camping

Abortion clinics should be banned

Those doctors demonstrate a complete lack of humanity. Spawn killing is a filthy tactic.

What do you call a vampire in a maternity

Spawn camper

What do you call a gamer who works at a abortion clinic?

Spawn camper

Abortion is

The most effective form of spawn camping

TIL

Abortion doctors are also called spawn campers

What do you call it when a team of ghostbusters visit a children’s hospital?

Spawn camping.

What do you call a hitman who targets babies in hospitals?

A spawn camper.

So, tensions with Russia flair up...

... And the Cold War reignites. With both the USA and Russia standing on the brink of total nuclear annihilation, the leaders decide to meet. Both agree that nothing on earth is worth an apocalypse, so they decide to end things once and for all; with a winner-takes-all dogfight. Both sides have 5 ye...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In the year XXXX, two scientists discover how to time travel. One of them tries to test it.

After a few minutes, he returns and tells the other: ''Our ancestors had to deal with a lot of shit: they forced women to give birth to the seed of their own family members, they were treating rats as unnatural spawns of the devil sent for harming the children...''



The other one repl...

The moment USA used drones in middle east

They were spawn killing the terrorists

What do you call someone who went into a birth clinic and started shooting at everyone there?

Spawn camper.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mouse and a bear find a genie lamp

A mouse and a bear find a genie lamp in the woods. The bear rubs it and a genie pops out and says,
"Thank you for freeing me, for doing so I grant you both three wishes each."

The bear went first and said, "I wish the entire earth was covered in forests," and the genie makes the whole eart...

Where do you get frog's eggs?

The spawn shop.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My Loving Wife

A couple years ago I met the love of my life. She's beautiful, intelligent, and compliments all of my weaknesses with her strengths. Recently, she became pregnant and I could not be more filled with joy. We found out we were having a boy, which was the perfect icing on the cake. Now there will be so...

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A time traveler meets with an ancient Jewish Bibical author.

After a brief introduction, having convinced the scribe of his identity, the time-traveler launches into an excited speech:

"Rabbi, do you know that in the future, your writings will spawn off other religions that in turn would make most of the world's population adherents of the Abrahamic fa...

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A man was stranded in the desert with his camel......

A man was stranded in the desert with his camel. One day while hopelessly walking through the sand, he found a supply bag full of water and food. He was good for days with these supplies, so he began his journey to find civilization again.

One day he was overcome by the urge to have sex. He ...

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A guy rubs an old oil lamp...

...and a genie comes out. In a deep voice he says : "You have 3 wishes. Ask me anything".

The guy thinks for a bit and says : "Alright, I want 40 billion dollars on my bank account."

The genie tells him it's done, the guy checks his bank account and indeed finds he is now very, very ri...

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