A man visits a prostitute who charges 20$ and ends up with crabs so he goes back and complains.
She replys: "It was only 20$. What were you expecting? Lobster?"
If the salmon come in on the salmon boat and the lobsters come in on the lobster boat, what boat do the crabs come in on?
The captain's dinghy
Why do crabs never give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish
How did crabs get around Atlantis?
A man goes to a $10 hooker and contracts crabs.
When he goes back to complain, the hooker laughs and says, What do you expect for $10 -- lobster?
How do crabs run in Alabama?
They run in family.
I bought two hermit crabs
I put them in the same small cage, are they still hermit crabs???
Why don't crabs donate to charity?
They're shellfish penny pinchers.
Excuse me, does this restaurant serve crabs?
Sit right down sir. We serve everybody.
A crab fisherman walks into a bar with a crab.
He sets the crab on the bar and it proceeds to walk perfectly straight ahead, instead of scuttling side to side like crabs usually do. The bartender, impressed, offers the fisherman $50 for the amazing crab and takes it home. The next day he takes the crab out of the cage, and it begins scuttling si...
Two crabs wouldn’t share their food
Scientists found out that crabs hear through their legs.
A scientist yelled at a crab and it ran away. Then he cut of its legs and yelled at it again. And suddenly the crab didn't run away anymore.
This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔
What do you call a film director that has crabs?
Sometimes i rub sand into my pubes
Just so I can make my crabs feel at home.
The ocean floor is just like the red light district
It's dark, sketchy, and everyone has experience with crabs
Whats the name of that old reality show where they go fishing and catch a bunch of crabs?
Jersey Shore...I miss that show.
What's the most effective way to get rid of crabs?
Shave half your pubes, light the other half on fire and smash them with a hammer when they come running out.
The Kayak Accident
The day after his wife disappeared In a kayaking accident, an Anchorage man answered his door to find two grim-faced Alaska State Troopers. “We’re sorry Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your wife”, said one of the troopers. “Tell me! Did you find her?”, Wilkens exclaimed. ...
My girlfriend screamed when I told her I had crabs
I mean, they make interesting pets. She should be much more worried about my HIV testing results.
I hate crabs
They’re literally Cancer.
A lawyer boarded an airplane
in Baltimore with a box of frozen soft shell crabs and asked a stewardess to take care of them for him.
She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator.. He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a very haug...