UPJOKE
star warschewbaccatatooinejediwookieegeorge lucasalderaanalden ehrenreichrebel alliancegalactic empireluke skywalkerprincess leiakylo renjoseph campbelljabba the hutt

Han Solo is chilling in his room when suddenly the light goes out.

He tries to fix the bulb, but after an hour of laborious effort, he gives up.

He heads over to Yoda's place to see if he can help. As Yoda opens the door, he spots a huge machine with flashing lights, beeping in the middle of the room.

"What's this?" he asks Yoda.

"A cloning m...

What did Princess Leia say to Han Solo on their wedding night?

Into the garbage chute, flyboy!

Why did Han Solo cry during his steak dinner?

Because it was Chewie.

Why wasn't Princess Leia married before she met Han Solo?

She was looking for love in Alderaan places

I saw Han Solo crying while eating his beef.

Later I asked why. He said it was chewy.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why was Han Solo so suspicious when he put his penis inside Princess Leia for the first time?

...it was Luke warm.

Why does Han Solo like gum?

Because it's chewy

Han Solo : Yoda, are you sure we're going in the right direction?

Yoda : Off course we are.

Luke Skywalker: "You smoke Han Solo?"

Han Solo: "No."

Luke Skywalker: "What about Chewbacca?"

Han Solo: "No, I don't do that either."

What’s Han Solo’s favorite gum?

Big League Chewie

Why did Han Solo call Chewbacca a noob?

He made a Wookiee mistake

What's Han Solo's favorite type of video game?

First person shooter.

What did Han solo do on Hoth?

He kept Lukewarm

Why did Han Solo become a vegetarian?

Because the last steak he ate was really Chewy.

What did Han Solo name his clone?

Han Duo

How is Han Solo in bed?

He shoots first

Han Solo ordered a steak in the shape of a Wookie.

He sent it back to the kitchen because it was a little chewy.

Casinos make a lot of money from Han Solo

They never tell him the odds

What did Han Solo say when he saw Luke Skywalker eating without cutlery?

“Use the Forks, Luke”

My wife cuddled up to me and said ‘Be my Han Solo.’

Now she’s not talking to me, cause I said ‘OK, Chewie.’

What happens when Nurgle has an affection for Han Solo?

Nurgle would try to Wuhan....

What did Yoda said to Princess Lea after separating with Han Solo

" May divorce be with you "

Did you hear Han Solo will be running next years London Marathon?

He says he reckons he'll be able to finish in less than 26 miles

Han Solo keeps taunting he'll steal cars...

...he's harassin' Ford!

What's the difference between a police officer and Han Solo?

>!There's a debate as to whether Han shot first.!<

C3PO, Luke Skywalker, and Han Solo are taken prisoner on an alien planet

The Millennium Falcon had to make an emergency stop on an uncharted planet. The trio is greeted by a hostile alien race and placed in a horrendous prison.

After some time they are taken in the night to some kind of tribunal where they are told that all outsiders are regarded as evil demons an...

What did Han Solo’s last name change too after he married Leia?

Han Duet.

What was Han Solo's reaction after eating a Momo?

Hmm... Chewie.

Why did Han Solo get an 'F' in Statistics class?

Because he kept telling the teacher, "Never tell me the odds!"

What song does Han Solo play when he flies away from Cloud City?

Bailando

In a way, Han Solo was a bit like a modern Icarus.

They both got too close to the son.

What did Han Solo say to the Keebler elf who complained he couldn't understand Chewbacca?

Sorry friend, that's the way the Wookiee mumbles.

3 dirty Star Wars jokes

1) Why was Han Solo suspicious when he finally got inside Princess Leia?

Because it was Luke warm

2) Why was Han Solo suspicious when he was eating Princess Leia?

Because she felt chewy

3) Did Han do the right thing when he confronted Leia about these?

No, that nig...

Han Solo goes to a restaurant and orders a steak. The waiter asked how tender he’d like his steak to be.

Han said “Make it Chewie.”

Did you know Han Solo had an employment agency?

Han Jobs

The Millenium Falcon is taking off...

Han Solo asks C3PO to give him a countdown, and C3PO says..

"10....8.....6.....4"

Han interrupts him and asks what the heck he's doing.

C3 says "You told me to never tell you the odds"

What do you call a terrible performance of Han Solo: The Musical?

A rebel without applause.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My sex life is just like star wars:

Its either Han Solo,

or i have to use the force.

My friend said no terrible puns could console him after seeing Han Solo get frozen in carbonite. 'Relax,' I told him,

'Harrison thawed'.

Disney / Star Wars crossovers suck.

I just watched the most boring crossover ever.

Nothing even happens in Han Solo's "Frozen in Carbonite"

My girlfriend left me because I’m a big Star Wars fan

Looks like tonight I’ll be Han Solo.

A long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...

There lived a Jedi known as Luke Skywalker. Luke was a mighty warrior, and quite the ladies man. His use of his 'lightsaber' attracted the eye of the beautiful Princess Leah. Luke wooed the Princess, and they fell in love. All was great in the world, until Han Solo, the ex lover of Princess Leah, fi...

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