The 27+ Best Albums Jokes

I have become obsessed with collecting Beatles albums!

So far I've got 17 Revolvers, 8 Rubber Souls, 25 Sergeant Peppers, 6 Hard Days Nights, 12 White Albums, 14 Abbey Roads, 7 Yellow Submarines, 5 Let It Be's, 9 Please Please Me's, a couple of With The Beatles, 3 Beatles For Sales, and even a Magical Mystery Tour, BUT IT'S NEVER ENOUGH!

I NEED ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

almost forgot it was my cake day! here's my favorite joke. it's not about cake

On this farm, there's a cow, a chicken, and a horse, and the three of them are best friends.

They do just about everything together. And one day, they're sitting at the window of the house, and the farmer's kid is watching MTV, and they're watching it, and they hear the music, and the horse s...

Taylor Swift is dropping albums like I’m dropping pounds

Only two, but still more than anyone expected.

Hey, did you hear about the Star Wars fanatic who's been stealing autograph books and photo albums from other fans at conventions?

They call him the fan-tome menace.

When I was a single man, I had a lot of free time.

Now that I listen to whole albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

I'm obsessed with buying Beatles albums

I need Help!

What did Darth Vader say when the record store employee told him they were out of George Michael albums?

I find your lack of 'Faith' disturbing.

A new study indicates that listening to albums by the band Queen might be bad for your health.

They have a high Mercury content!

I ordered a couple Elton John albums off of Amazon three months ago. They still haven't shipped.

And I think it's going to be a long, long time

The only CD shop near my house sells nothing but old albums.

Guess there’s no hot singles in my area.

My client is very particular about which classical albums she wants me to restore...

“If it ain’t Baroque, don’t fix it.”

I just broke two of my dads old queen albums.

Now I want to break three.

A mother and her son are looking at old photo albums

The son points to a photo and asks:

"Mom, who is this muscular guy with so much hair?"

His mother responds:

"Can't you see that? That is your father."

"Oh..." He pauses "But if he's my father, then who is that fat bald guy that lives here?"

All these singers dropping their new albums and songs.....

don't you think they oughta be a little careful the next time?

I love to view /r/gonewild albums in reverse

and watch lonely women regain their dignity.

Billy has 5 albums by Morrissey and he buys 2 more, what does Billy have?

Depression, Billy has depression.

Adele names albums by numbers, relating to important things in her life.

Her next is rumoured to be called 3.14159265359

I tried getting into Guinness World record by smashing up music albums

I broke a lot of records

*ba dum tis*

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The Tin Man's Record Collection

I was in Oz visiting the Tin Woodsman' and I discovered his large record collection, I asked if I could flip through it. Awkwardly he said I could but warned me that he was ashamed of it. I shrugged it off and began flipping through, he had an album by every band I could think of, Stones, yup. Skyny...

My Dad was a Musician who played with the Beatles all the time.

He had all their albums but that was his favorite.

Carrie Fisher runs into George Micheal in the afterlife...

Carrie Fisher runs into George Micheal in the afterlife...

She says, "Oh man, I'm a huge fan! I've got every one of your albums except the first one." He says, "I find your lack of 'Faith' disturbing".

Confession: Every now and then I still enjoy listening to one of Bill Cosby's old comedy albums.

Call it a guilty pleasure.

Library Line

In the public library, a man with his new library card questioned the pretty librarian.

“Do you mean to say,” he asked, “that with this card I may take out any book I want?”

“Yes,” she answered.

“And may I take out record albums, too?”

“Yes, you may.”

“May I take y...

Your family is so ugly...

...your photo albums only contain the negatives

I needed to do the laundry, but then I realized I was out of detergent,

so I went to write a shopping list and realized how unorganized the junk drawer was, and started checking pens for ink. When I went to toss all the junk, I saw that the trash was full but before I took it out I wanted to get rid of old food in the fridge. That's when I realized a juice jug had leake...

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A group of friends encountered a swimming pool

Upon approaching a genie popped up and told them it was a magic pool. "Just jump in and mid-jump ask what you would like the water to turn into".

The first friend ran up to the pool, took a leap, yelled "BEER!" and what would you know? He landed in a pool full of beer!

After he got out...

I was pulled over last night and the officer asked me if I had a police record.

I told him “no but I have a couple albums by Sting.

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