UPJOKE
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Albums Jokes

Taylor Swift is dropping albums like I’m dropping pounds

Only two, but still more than anyone expected.

I'm obsessed with buying beatles albums

I need help!

I have become obsessed with collecting Beatles albums!

So far I've got 17 Revolvers, 8 Rubber Souls, 25 Sergeant Peppers, 6 Hard Days Nights, 12 White Albums, 14 Abbey Roads, 7 Yellow Submarines, 5 Let It Be's, 9 Please Please Me's, a couple of With The Beatles, 3 Beatles For Sales, and even a Magical Mystery Tour, BUT IT'S NEVER ENOUGH!

I NEED ...

Carrie Fisher runs into George Micheal in the afterlife...

She says, "Oh man, I'm a huge fan! I've got every one of your albums except the first one."
He says, "I find your lack of 'Faith' disturbing".

I was pulled over last night and the officer asked me if I had a police record.

I told him “no but I have a couple albums by Sting.

Hey, did you hear about the Star Wars fanatic who's been stealing autograph books and photo albums from other fans at conventions?

They call him the fan-tome menace.

The only CD shop near my house sells nothing but old albums.

Guess there’s no hot singles in my area.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So there's a farm. On this farm, there's a cow, a chicken, and a horse, and the three of them are best friends.

They do just about everything together. And one day, they're sitting at the window of the house, and the farmer's kid is watching MTV, and they're watching it, and they hear the music, and the horse says "you know what? I'm gonna learn how to do that."

So the horse calls up Guitar Center, and...

I just broke two of my dads old queen albums.

Now I want to break three.

All these singers dropping their new albums and songs.....

don't you think they oughta be a little careful the next time?

What did Darth Vader say when the record store employee told him they were out of George Michael albums?

I find your lack of 'Faith' disturbing.

I love to view /r/gonewild albums in reverse

and watch lonely women regain their dignity.

I ordered a couple Elton John albums off of Amazon three months ago. They still haven't shipped.

And I think it's going to be a long, long time

A new study indicates that listening to albums by the band Queen might be bad for your health.

They have a high Mercury content!

My client is very particular about which classical albums she wants me to restore...

“If it ain’t Baroque, don’t fix it.”

A mother and her son are looking at old photo albums

The son points to a photo and asks:

"Mom, who is this muscular guy with so much hair?"

His mother responds:

"Can't you see that? That is your father."

"Oh..." He pauses "But if he's my father, then who is that fat bald guy that lives here?"

Adele names albums by numbers, relating to important things in her life.

Her next is rumoured to be called 3.14159265359

I tried getting into Guinness World record by smashing up music albums

I broke a lot of records

*ba dum tis*

Billy has 5 albums by Morrissey and he buys 2 more, what does Billy have?

Depression, Billy has depression.

I was going to rank Green Day's albums from best to worst.

Then I realized they already made them in order.

Confession: Every now and then I still enjoy listening to one of Bill Cosby's old comedy albums.

Call it a guilty pleasure.

When I was a single man, I had a lot of free time.

Now that I listen to whole albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

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