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Slapper Jokes

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Robot Slapper

A man buys a lie detector robot that slaps people who lie. He decides to test it at dinner.



**DAD:** Son, where were you today during school hours?

**SON:** At school **Robot slaps son*

**SON:** OK, I went to the movies.

**DAD:** Which one?

**SON:** Toy Sto...

My 11 year old cousin just told me this knee-slapper

What did the fish say when he swam into a concrete wall?

"Damn"

My fiance, feeling a bit under the weather, just blurted out this knee-slapper at 3AM...

Why does Bill Nye get sleepy after writing calligraphy?

Because of the Nye Quill.

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What’s the funniest part of a 90 year old woman’s body?

Her boobs! They are real knee slappers

Wanna hear a joke about legs?

It's a real knee slapper.

And that pun was only calf of the joke.

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What else can you call a knee-slapper?

Some fun knee shit.

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boob jokes are funny but...

jokes about wagging my dick are a real knee slapper.

What's a comedians favorite wrestling move??¿?

The Knee Slapper

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Chemistry Puns

What do you do with a dying chemist? If you can't helium, you might as well barium. That joke was quite the knee-slapper, wasn't it. I certainly slapped my neon that one. It was just so-dium funny. Why do chemists like high altitudes? The views arsenic. If you're not laughing yet, don't worry. I'm o...

What do you call a convention you nominate people for cosplaying as the dead?

Necronomicon

Knee-bone slapper I know…….

Have you heard the one about the dwarf who abuses his tall wife?

It's a little offensive.

But a real knee slapper.

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[NSFW] Told a woman I had a 16 inch penis, she asked if was joking.

Told her it's a real knee slapper.

An Arab man slapped his wife, and she was insulted.

She went to her father and told him, "An eye for an eye. My husband has slapped me, and you must avenge me"

So her father asked, "On which cheek did did he slap you?"

"He slapped my left cheek."

So the father slapper his daughter on the right and said, "Be happy, I have avenge...

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What do you call a joke about an old lady's boobs?

A knee slapper.

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Hitler, Stalin, and Napolean are complaining in the afterlife...

Hitler whines "if I had Russian oil, I would have flattened Moscow."

Stalin replies "if I had the German Lufftwaffe, I would have taken over all of Europe."

Then Napolean says "if I had Russian and German propaganda nobody would know I had lost."

Not a knee-slapper, but it's pro...

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Everyone I sleep with tells me my dick is a big joke

A real knee slapper

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Did you hear the one about the runner with a 12 inch penis?

It's a real knee-slapper.

What do you call a fox hole full of stoned soldiers?

A Pot Hole

yes I know it's a head slapper it's so corny!

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Rude parrot on an airliner

A man gets on a plane and takes his seat, only to realise that the occupant of the seat next to him is a parrot. The plane takes off and after some minutes a stewardess approaches.

"Can I get you anything, sir?" she asks the man".

"Yes, I'll have a coffee, please, when you have a minut...

Have you guys heard the joke about the airplane?

I'd tell it, but it'd go over your heads....
CORNY JOKES THREAD!
OP will deliver knee slappers and humdingers!

Did you hear the one about the short person who tried to start a fight?

It's a real knee knee-slapper, I tell ya!

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