Lifting weights changed my life. I dropped 25 pounds...

Right on my big toe. It’s broken now I can hardly walk

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] A nun and a priest are crossing the Sahara desert on a camel.

On the third day out the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning. After dusting themselves off, the nun and the priest surveyed their situation. After a long period of silence, the priest spoke.

"Well sister, this looks pretty grim."

"I know, father." "In fact, I don't think it l...

I was going to make a joke about lifting the mask mandate in Texas

but it's too soon.

Been lifting weights without much results. Saw a super ripped trainer at the gym and asked him how he got so jacked . . .

He paused and then said 'Let me show you the whey'.

What do men do standing up and women do sitting down and dogs do by lifting one leg?

Shake hands, of course!

A guy tried lifting 40 pound dumbbells

"This is too much." He decided.

He spent his money on cheaper dumbbells

You're all lifting the whole liquor counter up

'cause you're raising the bar.

Rock on, y'all are amazing :)

When it comes to choosing between weight lifting or cardio workouts, I always choose cardio.

Cause it helps me in the long run ;)

Why was the weight lifter upset after lifting a case of Coke?

It was just soda pressing.

Two burly, muscular men are in the gym, lifting weights...

One says to the other, "When I get home, I'm gonna rip my wife's undies off!"

The other says, "Why's that?"

The first finishes, "Cause the elastic is killing me."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you get when you cross Willy Wonka with stolen fizzy lifting drinks?

You get *NOTHING*! *YOU LOSE*! *GOOD DAY, SIR*!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Tennis Elbow

One day Bill complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts, I guess I should see a doctor." His friend said, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Just put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your pr...

There's an easy way to distinguish different clans of Scotsmen just by lifting their kilts...

...if they're packing a quarter pounder under there, they're a McDonald.

Yo mama

Yo mama so fat, she went to a weight lifting competition and won 1st place for standing up

Job application...

This is an actual job application someone submitted at a McDonald's fast food establishment.
Not sure if they hired him....


NAME - Greg Bulmash


DESIRED POSITION - Reclining. Ha ha. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be a...

I’ve spent a month lifting and I still haven’t gotten stronger

I guess it’s not working out

I try working out by lifting dictionaries...

I've been told that's how you get definition.

If you see results after exercising and lifting weights does that mean it’s...

...working out?

The staff of this liquor store called the cops on me for stealing Whisky and Vodka.

I don't understand. I was only lifting their spirits.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.