Got fired from my new job at the dairy factory for making 1% milk the wrong way...
...instead of following the directions exactly, I just skimmed them.
This will give 1 or 2% a chuckle...
Two milk cartons and a bottle of creamer were discussing an issue:
Whole: I think we’ve covered the Whole thing.
Skim: Really? We just Skimmed over it.
Creamer: I would normally side with Whole on this point, but I’m actually Half and Half.
Some kid just threw a bottle of milk at me
HOW DAIRY! His behaviour was udderly disgusting. It just skimmed my head.
Knowing that the minister had a very sore throat, an elderly woman presented him with a bottle of cherry brandy.
"This is quite soothing,” the woman said, "but please don’t tell anyone I gave you liquor. Everyone thinks I am teetotaler."
"I understand," replied the good man.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
[OC] My wife likes things done her way and her way only
When I make her a cup of tea I have to use the same type of tea, the water needs to be exactly 86 degrees Celsius, I have to put exactly 1 and a half grams of sugar in before the teabag goes in, stir it six times to the left and once to the right and then add 4 teaspoons of skimmed milk.