Recently I met a pair of twins named Sharon and Karen

They were wearing the same clothes, same makeup, and same personality. In fact, they were pretty much the same person. So I guess it is just as they say,

Sharon is Karen

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Sharon & Tracey are walking home from the pub one night.

Sharon & Tracey are walking home from the pub one night.

As they turn the corner, they come across a circus in the field over the road that has closed up for the night. One of the main attractions, a huge 12 foot tall bull elephant with a 6 foot long penis could clearly be seen quietly ea...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

ME: do you like Dick Tracy?

**HER:** Yes, but itโ€™s Sharon.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Dear Deirdre.

My boyfriend's a right dick! He told me the best cure for constipation was anal sex. I didn't believe him but after some persuasion, he talked me into it and I let him stick his big fat knob into my tiny little arsehole. He shagged me up the bum really hard then after a while, shot his muck, deep in...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

GF: See you later, love you xxx

**Me:** love you too

**GF:** Babe, it would mean a lot to me if you'd put some X's at the end of your reply xxx

**Me:** ok, love you too Donna, Yolanda, Sharon, Vicky

We've all heard the one about the twin boys - once you've seen Juan you've seen Jamal. But have you heard the one about the twin girls -

Sharon is Karen.

Murphy met Sharon at his bar one night.

They enjoyed each other's company very much and at the end of the evening Sharon invited Murphy to her place, where they quickly got involved in a very passionate and energetic session in bed together.


Finally, tired and satisfied, they both lay back in the bed and snuggled up close to ...

What did the man, who had always dreamed of having a threesome, say when he found out that his wife, named Sharon, had a twin sister named Karen?

"Well, Sharon is Karen"

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

I'm into group sex, but often confuse the names of the women.

Nvm, Sharon is Karen.

PSA - Don't believe everything you read in Public toilets.

Sharon is not up for a good time....boy what an awkward phone call that was.

Why did the white lady want to talk the manager into giving her a free item?

Because Sharon is Karen.

What's in a name

I found out the other day that my friend Karen had a name change when she was younger, it blew my mind and I couldn't help but share that tidbit with everyone I knew.

She pulled me aside today and asked me to stop sharing her secret with everyone.

Honestly I just can't help it, Sharon ...

I went on a blind date.

I saw this lovely girl and said to her are you Susan?

She said are you Brian?.. I said yes I am: All exited..

She said no my name is Sharon.

Have you heard of the book โ€œLiving in Polygamyโ€?

By Sharon Peters

A man and his brother met up for drinks

After a long night of drinking and laughing, the two men head home. On the way, they both delve into their love life, and the first man mentions the new girl he's been seeing.
"Yeah dude, we met at work and went out for dinner. She's gorgeous!"
His brother turns to him and asks,
"Nice! What...

A friend of mine has two tickets for the 2018 SUPER BOWL!!!

...both are box seats. He paid $3,500 each & comes with a limo ride to the stadium, Dinner, $400 bar tab. Thing is he didn't realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his Wedding. If you're interested, he's looking for someone to take his place. It's at St Bene...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Guy walks into a bar...

A guy walks into a bar and immediately notices a beautiful young lady sitting at the bar by herself. After a couple of drinks, he decides to go over and make small talk.

"Hi, what's your name?" he asks.

"Carmen," she replies.

"That's a nice name," he says. "Did your mother or fa...

What did the stingy schizophrenic finally come to realize after years of therapy?

That Sharon is Karen...

I was sleeping with two twins for while in my 20s....

My friends all asked, "how can you tell them apart?" I replied, "well...Sharon has long blonde hair, and Derek has a beard."

Masked man robs a sperm bank...

... He approaches the safe with a gun and yells at the nurse,
"Open up this safe!"

Nurse replied in fear, "But sir this is a sperm bank, we don't have any money here."

I said open up this safe now!" he yelled again and the nurse opened it up.

"Now drink this viel!"
...

Five blokes in an Audi Quattro arrived at the ferry checkpoint.

Blonde Tracey, in her brand new uniform, stops them and tells them: "I can't let you on the ferry. It is illegal to have 5 people in a Quattro. Quattro means four. One of you will have to get out and stay behind."

"Quattro is just the name of the car," the driver replies in disbelieve. "Look ...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

If you think the name Jack Hiscock is bad

You should feel even worse for his sister, Sharon.

Viens a moi (NSFW)

Two women walked into a department store, stopped at the perfume counter and picked up a sample bottle. One sprayed the perfume on her wrist and smelled it. "That's nice, isn't it?" Sharon said waving her arm under her friend's nose. "Yeah. What's it called?" "Viens a moi." "Viens a moi? What's that...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Celebrity Computer Viruses

Monica Lewinsky virus: Sucks all the memory out of your computer.

Ronald Reagan virus: Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.

Mike Tyson virus: Quits after one byte.

Oprah Winfrey virus: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands to 300MB.<...

Why did the lady with multiple personality disorder share her food with a friend?

Because Sharon is Karen.

Topical Jokes (5/20)

Welcome back, everybody! We've got some more news and, thus, more jokes. Let's get started.

Right off the bat, more on President Obama. Following a week of scandals, President Obama played golf with Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood. Things got a little tense when Obama had IRS agents audit...

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